Wednesday, July 25, 2007

13 Things I Thought About at 3:00 am During A Bout of Insomnia

*Important Note* Any conversations below were all contained within my head at 3:00 a.m. while tossing and turning. I decided to get up and record the thoughts for posterity because they are really deep. Now it will all make perfect sense.

Thought 1. About blog contests: "Why didn't you put the name of your blog and your prize beside your name in the linky? Did you think the word 'Linda' would mesmerize people and entice them to visit your blog?" Response to rhetorical question: "Because I am a dork." Counter response: "I know."

Thought 2. Tammy Faye Bakker. I don't know what in the world made me think of her family at 3:00 a.m. I don't have a real strong affinity for that family, but I do have compassion, and I saw how little and weak she was at the end and could not believe my eyes. That family has been through a lot. But I also prayed for my family, friends, and friends' kids.

Thought 3. More on contests: "Stop entering at so many blogs. You do not sew; you do not have babies; you do not like the scent of apple so much. Therefore, step away from the comment box at that those sites."

Thought 4. About Facebook: "You need to wish Chelsea 'happy birthday' tomorrow." Chelsea is a Oneighty student, so sweet and cute. Adjunct thought: "I am cool because I have Facebook." Response: "No, you're really not." Counter response: "I know."

Thought 5. About my upcoming vacation at an undisclosed sunny place: "I don't think I'd better watch 'Lost' for the first time like I told Cindy I would because there's a plane crash, and since we're flying, I might have those images in my head when we're taking off and landing--not good. Note to self: Tell Cindy why you're not going to watch it yet first thing tomorrow." Response: [Sarcastically: "Oh Yes. Top priority, first thing tomorrow morning."] "Uh, reality check: She doesn't care. She is not awake right now wondering if Linda has watched 'Lost' yet." Counter response: "I knew that."

Thought 6. "I forgot to watch 'Murder She Wrote' which I saved on Tivo-the-best-thing-ever." My kids made fun of me for being into Jessica Fletcher. I just haven't seen the show for years, and I wanted to see it again. "Anyone who has watched reruns of 'Full House' for years has no business criticizing my Tivo choices anyway." Response: "Tell me about it." Counter response: "The little dorks!" Counter-counter response:"The kids or the Full House people?" "Both!" "I know!" "But ... what's-her-name is a Christian." "OK. Go team."

Thought 7. "Whatever happened to Kimmy Gibbler of 'Full House?'"

Thought 8. "Why didn't you exercise this evening? "Because I was making baked ziti and eating baked ziti." "You are bad." "I know."

Thought 9. "I hope I win something." "Winning isn't everything." "I know. But those notecards are really cute." "You've been really materialistic lately." "I know. Sorry, God."

Thought 10. Flash memory: My husband couldn't sleep one night and went out on our deck for fresh air and to look at the stars. All of a sudden, a large animal, probably a raccoon, came up from under the deck and looked through the railing at him and started GROWLING at him! He came back inside tout de suite. "Note to self: Make Husband put lattice around bottom of deck so I don't have to keep getting on my hands and knees to look under it to make sure no foxes or raccoons run out and attack Zoe when she goes potty. It is humiliating. Mainly for Zoe. She is losing respect for my Alpha Dogness."

Thought 11. "My stomach hurts." "Probably that ziti." "Shut up."

Thought 12. "Why do people get so into blogging, anyway?" "Self-expression, mutual encouragement, entertainment, stimulation for the mind, creativity, community, etc." "Yeah, and there's a lot of Ego floatin' around out there with a capital 'E', too." "Touche." "That's the 2nd French phrase you've thought of at 3:30 a.m. What is wrong with your brain?" "Je ne sais pas." "Tu es une dork." "Oui."

Thought 13. "Isn't Zoe is the cutest dog in the world?" "Yes, but you've got to stop blogging about her so much; it's like an obsession and you're turning people off with your cutesy wootsey stuff." "I'm just sayin'. Anyway, I think she has surpassed the Olsen Twins, and the baby panda twins in the Beijing Zoo and Katie Cruise's new haircut in cuteness." "Are you talking about the Olsen Twins as babies or now?" "Either stage of Olsen cuteness, hands down." "Paws down!" "[Groan]" "I know."

33 comments:

Barbara H. said...

Thanks for letting us in on your early a.m. musings. :-) I could never do a T13 like this because by thought #5 I wouldn't remember what thoughts 1, 2, and 3 were...

MamaLee said...

omg, you are so funny!! Thanks for the giggles here at midnight, and happy TT!

amy said...

Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts with us this morning! I love your thought process

Ang said...

Late night clubber too, huh?!? It's about 3:30am here and hubby has the boy in the shower...after a bottom explosion at 1:30 that I had to clean up, he ended up in bed w/ us...so at 3:00 we were woken up by an explosion from the top end(this will teach me to get more than 1 set of toddler sheets). Hope you got to go back to sleep!

Robin said...

Tu es une dork. That cracked me up.

Susanne said...

I didn't know you thought in french?

I'm in love with the Tivo thingy too except here it's called PVR. I don't know what that would be in french. ;v)

VAIL said...

I read on the internet this week that Kimmy Gibbler just got married in Vegas.
I feel for you being up at 3:00 am - I don't have that problem, thank the LORD! When my head hits the pillow I am out!
Thanks for entering my contest!

Linda said...

Susanne, Je parle Francais un peu. That's it!

mandy said...

i don't think anything happened to kimmie gibbler.....
:(
she was really funny!

Dana said...

Seems like the Insomnia Fairy was quite busy last might ....

Kristi K. said...

Wow! You think pretty clearly in the middle of the night.
I think when I'm up in the middle of the night, my thoughts are more like: "huh?" "what?" "whadyasay?" or something else equally unintelligible. ;)

Thanks for stopping by my "13" post and for your very sweet comments. You may link away, if you like. ;) I'd be honored!

Have a great Thursday, all day!

Stine said...

Hm! I hope you sleep better tonight!
And you're very welcome, and thank you for bookmarking me... Welcome back anytime!

samurai said...

Wa hahahaha - thank you for sharing those thoughts... and I thought I was the only strange one...

I love baked ziti...

ohamanda said...

loved it! I'm still laughing!

Lily @ Consider the Lilies said...

Goodness, you are so funny! Thanks for the giggles, Linda.

Roxanne said...

You don't blog too much about Zoe. If you have a big 'ole ego, I'm not seein' it. Anyone who blogs about lacerating their own heel in search of the perfect feet just isn't that into themselves. :)

We love you. . .

Jen said...

while this was an interesting post
I have a strict rule NO INTERNET IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
otherwise Id still be there in the morning

I have to confess one of my first thoughts in the morning is to do with my blog

Hope you will still come visit me even though I have a toddler

Happy Birthday to Chelsea
hope she has a happy dog day
yes Chelsea sure is cute

Joy said...

Hi! I'm new to blogging; found yours on a christian women's blog. Look forward to meeting new friends. Cute blog - hope you sleep better tonight!

Sophisticated Writer said...

Don't you agree that we get some of our deepest thoughts / questions when we're insomniac and can't sleep?

And yes Tammy Faye really looked so very weak in her last interview on TV.

I suffer from terrible cruel insomnia mostly in the summer. It has to be the heat.

Take care.

Sophisticated Writer said...

I forgot to thank you for dropping by. I'll definitely be back here for a 2nd cup of coffee ;)

Sandy said...

Linda - you funny girl!
I was up at 3:45 today, couldn't sleep. No blogging for me tho.
I started blogging because I figured I'd just print it out and give to my kids someday, or their spouses.
I love MSW, love JF! And Full House. Decided NOT to enter in the blog contest, for the things that didn't really mean anything to me.
My husband was fly-fishing and had a beaver come out of the water right to his ... "lap" and surprise him. Now that was scary!!
Zoe is cute, but our dog Haggis is the KING around our household.
Happy Weekend! Hope you win something.
Sandy

Aline de Chevigny said...

LOL you do realise that answering yourself is the first sign of danger right?

heheh great list.

Aline

Matthew Didier said...

My best creative thoughts are usually at 3am... but I'm too lazy to jot them down, usually... what a GREAT idea for a TT!

Heth said...

My favorite is thought number six. Go team! HAHAHA!

ablondeblogger said...

Oh my gosh I love your blog, you and your dog! All adorable!

I'm a fellow insomniac (it's 2:30 a.m. right now). AND my husband was also confronted by an animal outside late at night, but when it turned around to walk away after a tense standoff, my husband saw it had a stripe down it's back!

You're hilarious! I found you through the Bloggy Giveaway and am blogrolling you. I'd enter your contest but I'm on a diet. :)

GarthTrekker said...

I forgot to write down my perfect plot for a short story I thought up in the middle of the night. So when I woke up, I couldn't remember what the story was supposed to be about! :-) Thanks for popping by Bloggin' Outloud. Lyn

J. Lynne said...

Whatever did happen to Kimmy Gibbler?

Amanda said...

Such a good read! I laughed about Thought #7, because I've actually wondered the same thing. Not that I'm a fan of Full House, but I always wondered how that actress could possibly ever be casted in anything else. The poor woman got the worst TV role ever.

Irishcoda said...

I so enjoyed reading your TT! I was laughing and agreeing with your 3 a.m. thoughts all at the same time, these are things I would think I think! Thanks for leaving your comment so that I could come & visit and now bookmark your blog to visit again. About Facebook, have you gotten onto the "I'm Too Old For Facebook But I Don't Care" type groups? I love 'em!

Connie Barris said...

soooo this is what happens in the middle of the night.. well actually morning... why do they call it night when it's really morning time....???

I like to sleep... period.. don't mess with me...period....

and for whatever reason... I have been on call....for my job.. most of my 27 years as a nurse.. now why would I do that!!! no, it's not the money... I'd pay to sleep.

oh well, thanks for sharing.. because you are just too funny...

tried any tylenol pm yet??

Susan said...

Wow, Linda, did you have a fourth and a fifth cup of coffee before you went to bed that night???? Seriously, I had to laugh at your list. It's funny because my brain actually works like that sometimes. Kind of scary, you know??

Have a great weekend.

:-) Susan

Jackie said...

Didn't Kimmie Gibbler pass away of a drug overdose a number of years ago?? I could be wrong.

You have a nice blog. :)

Serving Him...NC Beth said...

Hi! Just discoverd your blog!
I too had an insomnia moment the other morning and did the very same thing, headed to the computer and started posting. I do find your posting much more amusing, however!
I am finding that just sometimes putting thoughts, feelings, etc. in word form that can be read over and over again (from me, who else!) is like therapy in a way. I do have a tendency to express what I am going through at that moment.

Thank you for sharing! (And you DO have the cutest little dog!!)
Beth