*Important Note* Any conversations below were all contained within my head at 3:00 a.m. while tossing and turning. I decided to get up and record the thoughts for posterity because they are really deep. Now it will all make perfect sense.
Thought 1. About blog contests: "Why didn't you put the name of your blog and your prize beside your name in the linky? Did you think the word 'Linda' would mesmerize people and entice them to visit your blog?" Response to rhetorical question: "Because I am a dork." Counter response: "I know."
Thought 2. Tammy Faye Bakker. I don't know what in the world made me think of her family at 3:00 a.m. I don't have a real strong affinity for that family, but I do have compassion, and I saw how little and weak she was at the end and could not believe my eyes. That family has been through a lot. But I also prayed for my family, friends, and friends' kids.
Thought 3. More on contests: "Stop entering at so many blogs. You do not sew; you do not have babies; you do not like the scent of apple so much. Therefore, step away from the comment box at that those sites."
Thought 4. About Facebook: "You need to wish Chelsea 'happy birthday' tomorrow." Chelsea is a Oneighty student, so sweet and cute. Adjunct thought: "I am cool because I have Facebook." Response: "No, you're really not." Counter response: "I know."
Thought 5. About my upcoming vacation at an undisclosed sunny place: "I don't think I'd better watch 'Lost' for the first time like I told Cindy I would because there's a plane crash, and since we're flying, I might have those images in my head when we're taking off and landing--not good. Note to self: Tell Cindy why you're not going to watch it yet first thing tomorrow." Response: [Sarcastically: "Oh Yes. Top priority, first thing tomorrow morning."] "Uh, reality check: She doesn't care. She is not awake right now wondering if Linda has watched 'Lost' yet." Counter response: "I knew that."
Thought 6. "I forgot to watch 'Murder She Wrote' which I saved on Tivo-the-best-thing-ever." My kids made fun of me for being into Jessica Fletcher. I just haven't seen the show for years, and I wanted to see it again. "Anyone who has watched reruns of 'Full House' for years has no business criticizing my Tivo choices anyway." Response: "Tell me about it." Counter response: "The little dorks!" Counter-counter response:"The kids or the Full House people?" "Both!" "I know!" "But ... what's-her-name is a Christian." "OK. Go team."
Thought 7. "Whatever happened to Kimmy Gibbler of 'Full House?'"
Thought 8. "Why didn't you exercise this evening? "Because I was making baked ziti and eating baked ziti." "You are bad." "I know."
Thought 9. "I hope I win something." "Winning isn't everything." "I know. But those notecards are really cute." "You've been really materialistic lately." "I know. Sorry, God."
Thought 10. Flash memory: My husband couldn't sleep one night and went out on our deck for fresh air and to look at the stars. All of a sudden, a large animal, probably a raccoon, came up from under the deck and looked through the railing at him and started GROWLING at him! He came back inside tout de suite. "Note to self: Make Husband put lattice around bottom of deck so I don't have to keep getting on my hands and knees to look under it to make sure no foxes or raccoons run out and attack Zoe when she goes potty. It is humiliating. Mainly for Zoe. She is losing respect for my Alpha Dogness."
Thought 11. "My stomach hurts." "Probably that ziti." "Shut up."
Thought 12. "Why do people get so into blogging, anyway?" "Self-expression, mutual encouragement, entertainment, stimulation for the mind, creativity, community, etc." "Yeah, and there's a lot of Ego floatin' around out there with a capital 'E', too." "Touche." "That's the 2nd French phrase you've thought of at 3:30 a.m. What is wrong with your brain?" "Je ne sais pas." "Tu es une dork." "Oui."
Thought 13. "Isn't Zoe is the cutest dog in the world?" "Yes, but you've got to stop blogging about her so much; it's like an obsession and you're turning people off with your cutesy wootsey stuff." "I'm just sayin'. Anyway, I think she has surpassed the Olsen Twins, and the baby panda twins in the Beijing Zoo and Katie Cruise's new haircut in cuteness." "Are you talking about the Olsen Twins as babies or now?" "Either stage of Olsen cuteness, hands down." "Paws down!" "[Groan]" "I know."