Sunday, June 29, 2008

The Blood, The Sweat, The Tears: The Emotional Roller Coaster Finale of "Groomer Has It"

As happens with most insidious vices, I did not search out the reality-show/dog grooming competition on Animal Planet's "Groomer Has It." I simply landed on it one night while surfing for a mind-numbing program to lull me to sleep.

Over a three-month period, 12 groomers were cut (ha!) to one champ who captured the title "Groomer of the Year," plus $50,000, plus a $75,000 traveling grooming truck pictured here. No small bones, for sure.

The host was Jai Rodriguez and his Yorkie, Nemo. Please--you know they had me at Zoe Nemo.

True entertainment value? Let me just tell you that estrogen-driven outbursts and breakdowns permeated every moment of this competition, and that was solely from the male contestants. Because where you have male hairdressers of human or canine clientele, you have d.r.a.m.a. with flair--the highest quality, off-off-Broadway, community theatre kind of flair. I was hooked.

Every week, contestants faced all sorts of creative challenges, such as grooming cats and sheep and grooming dogs from the local pound who the contestants then had to find adoptive homes for. Wow. This is a picture of one of those actual dogs. Yes, I promise that is a dog.

Segue: I have to say that this little "dog" got my heart. He is the most pathetic creatch-ture ever to be living. His hair reminds me of mine when I wake up. To prove this, here are un-airbrushed pics that my kids took one morning of my own "Groomer Has It" wake-up hair. Are you not stunned by my resemblance to the creatch-ture in the pic?

So I immediately had a soft spot for little "Mangy Mo." No, the real name was "Teddy." Because he's so lovable and all. Don't you want to just pick him up and hug him (once you're in a space suit)?

Saturday night, the competition came to a close when two highly animated men had a groom-off: 7 breeds in 10 hours. For those of you who don't have a lot of experience in washing dogs in mud sinks and blow drying them, etc., like I do, that's next to impossible. Why, that's the stuff that campy drama is made of.

But then, at the last minute, they presented ANOTHER hair challenge to the two finalists, just for kicks, and no, it wasn't David Hasselhoff's hair. It was a mixed breed challenge.

People, I thought these guys were going to spaz-out.

I found myself completely sucked in, rooting for the "little guy," from South-Central LA, as opposed to the NYC big-time groomer who thought he was all that AND a Coach purse.

Imagine my horror when right before the last commercial break, the DVR announced "We're done with this show."

"What?" I yelled at the DVR. "What do you mean? Who won? I must know who won!"

I had to re-watch the whole finale on the Internet to see who won.

If you don't want to know who won, look away now.

OK, it was the "underdog," so to speak, "Artist" (his real name) from LA. Yay!

Here is a 30-second sample of the drama you've been missing all season. Do not miss the guy who is a reincarnation of Martin Short as the wedding planner in "Father of the Bride."


Susanne said...

You are hilarious! My hubby wants to know what I'm snickering at. He accuses me of snickering a lot when I'm on the internet. More than likely I am here.

Carol said...

You are so cracking me up with those hair pictures. You are a brave woman!! LOL!

HisPrincess said...

Honestly Linda, you could make watching paint dry sound entertaining! You crack me up, and always make me smile!

Mocha with Linda said...

You have my undying admiration for posting first thing in the morning pics. Of course your hair doesn't look quite as wild as mine does, being longer so it doesn't stick out every which way.

Gee, the things we're missing not having cable TV. And I thought Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe was the "it".

Genny said...

This was SO cute! Loved it. And I love your blog too. I'll definitely be back! (I see we share the same love of coffee...)

Thanks so much for stopping by,

Truth4thejourney said...

What a teaser! Sounds great, only I don't subscribe to cable so I don't get animal planet. :(

Maybe on some vacation some time I'll have a chance to watch it.

Kelley said...

Oh Linda this is priceless! I don't know who thinks up these kinds of shows but now I know who is watching them. lol Seriously girl, I hope the new season of American Idol gets here quick or no telling what you will get into. I have also learned from this post why you were the first one up in the morning at the conference. By the time I got up you were all groomed and beautimus!! I'm sure you were thinking I needed a groomer at that point.

Thanks for the entertainment today, I can always count on you to make me smile :)

Sue Cramer said...

Love the pictures of you!!!!

You are so stinkin creative girl!!
Love the post.

Teri said...

I am not so much into the groomer reality tv...don't hate me.

But the pictures of you with bed head...very fun!

You should see me in the morning...I have this curly hair thing going on because of all of the hair drama in the winter...well all of the new growth is so curly, then it sticks up and well, my husband calls me know George, Jerry and Elaine's buddy!
Yeah, I know.

Natalie said...

So glad you came to visit! This post was hilarious! We have similar taste in humor! I look forward to getting to know you.

sara said...

I had noooo idea that show was on the air...but I guess i am not surprised. I do think maybe we need to have a morning hair competition....I would sooo win!!! Curly hair has a mind of it's own in the mornings....can you picture Einstein?!

Michelle said...

ROOT FOR THE SCHNAUZER! They have the most issues

Other than those pics of you that you posted, of course.

Just kidding, what a funny post!

You made me laugh out loud!

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Oh my word. Reincarnation of Martin Short. You nailed it, sister.

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Oh my word. Reincarnation of Martin Short. You nailed it, sister.

Grace said...

So....I'm commenting on your Dwight L. Moody quote. Fabulous! If I add it to my blog will you think I've stolen it??


Lelia Chealey said...

That is great! Linda you always make me laugh!!

Robin said...

I loved catching up on your blog..I have been gone a couple of weeks. I have laughed and laughed and drank my vanillia latte while reading. I love your insight and you are so real..I love a girl without a mask ! I will pray for your sweet friend. I just lost my special friend to cancer last December. It was a hard journey. God has blessed us all by walking this road with her. Have a good month of being at home.