First of all, Mavis at The Homemaker's Paradise knows her weeds, AND her marinades; so check her out. You can learn a lot from Mavis. Mavis was the first one to tell me that I've got a giant Pokeweed consuming a privacy fence. She is absolutely right about Pokeweed being poisonous.
Of course, as soon as I read that to my kids, they were sure that Zoe was going to die and that her death would be on my head for time and all eternity. I am happy to report that Zoe is fine. Someone asked how much she weighs. She's about 5 lbs. Her little paw is about the size of your thumb tip, no kidding.
To learn more about the riveting, fascinating Pokeweed, go here: Wikipedia Ref. One interesting path that my research led me down was a video of Elvis singing "Poke Salad Annie," a tune about a girl who would go out every evening before suppertime to pick some Pokeweed. I cannot fathom why someone would write a song about this non-event or why it struck the King's fancy, except that apparently Annie could not be killed by Pokeweed, since she gathered it every night.
Also, just so you know, Pokeweed has many other names, such as Ink Berry. The Declaration of Independence was written with ink made from fermented poke berry juice.
Finally, why someone whose blog title is "Homemaker's Paradise" would ever visit my blog, which could be subtitled "Homemaker's Paradise Lost" is beyond me, but she did, and we have Mavis to thank for our journey of learning. Thank you, Mavis. I am resisting the urge to say that you are a Beacon of knowledge, Mavis.
Part 2: Two Games You Should Know About
Game 1: Ladder Ball
So we spent the 4th with three other couples who are part of our Sunday night group which has been meeting for 7 years, at least.
Once again, I noticed a prominent recurring theme about this group: we're old.
In fact, we even broached the subject while we were "fellowshipping." And, while we're at it, just using the word "fellowshipping" denotes oldness.
Anyway, we were uber-fellowshipping through a new game called, "Ladder Ball." This is sort of like horseshoes, only the tossy things are aren't heavy like horseshoes, which is good because the middle-aged bones, they are melting. A lot of things melt in middle age--like your face and your b-oobs and sometimes, if a hot flash takes over, my entire friend will melt before my eyes. Awesome.
Ladder Ball is also called "Hillbilly Golf," and "The New Game Old People Play on July 4th." Ladder Ball is much safer than the old, old-people July 4th game, the death missiles formerly known as "lawn jarts." Remember those? Yikes.
Gee, wonder why there's not a big Jart revival nowadays. Jarts have gone the way of cherry bomb burns and rolling around in the back of the station wagon without seat belts, all dangerous delights of childhoods past.
But the guys in our group went especially crazy for Ladder Ball. I think I heard one exclaim, "Man, I dig this scene!"
Granted, it was a little weird when we had to keep saying ball-related phrases during our game amongst mixed company: "Do you want blue balls or red balls?" "Wait a minute-my balls got twisted." This is not a game you'd want to play with a bunch of middle school boys, for sure, unless you played it "Quaker Meeting" style, where no one could speak during the entire game. That would be the only way to get around the jokes.
So, if you are old, you should go to the Walmarts to get your lawn gnome on clearance and also pick up Ladder Ball, not to be confused with Bladder Ball, even though one of our rounds was delayed because a certain woman in the group could not wait another minute to go to the little girls' room, and after that, set us back by melting into the grass. Fun times.
Game 2: Corn Hole, the new and improved bean bag game that is sweeping the nations, especially college campuses, even those that aren't Holiness Schools of Higher Ground Learning.
Kids like to paint their own boxes with their school logos. My friend's college daughter painted hers sky blue and then painted white daisies on them. (Because even girly-girls love to chuck a bean bag once in a while.)
This is my 86-year-old father playing corn hole on Father's Day. He has better form than the men in our group playing Ladder Ball did.
So if you really want to be cool in your fashionable retro-oldness, all you need is one of these games and a Mr. Microphone, and you've got it goin' on. Trivia: Do you remember what the guy in the Mr. Microphone commercial is saying???