Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Double Post: Mavis Knows Her Weeds and The Games People Play Now, Every Night and Every Day Now ...

First of all, Mavis at The Homemaker's Paradise knows her weeds, AND her marinades; so check her out. You can learn a lot from Mavis. Mavis was the first one to tell me that I've got a giant Pokeweed consuming a privacy fence. She is absolutely right about Pokeweed being poisonous.

Of course, as soon as I read that to my kids, they were sure that Zoe was going to die and that her death would be on my head for time and all eternity. I am happy to report that Zoe is fine. Someone asked how much she weighs. She's about 5 lbs. Her little paw is about the size of your thumb tip, no kidding.

To learn more about the riveting, fascinating Pokeweed, go here: Wikipedia Ref. One interesting path that my research led me down was a video of Elvis singing "Poke Salad Annie," a tune about a girl who would go out every evening before suppertime to pick some Pokeweed. I cannot fathom why someone would write a song about this non-event or why it struck the King's fancy, except that apparently Annie could not be killed by Pokeweed, since she gathered it every night.

Also, just so you know, Pokeweed has many other names, such as Ink Berry. The Declaration of Independence was written with ink made from fermented poke berry juice.

Finally, why someone whose blog title is "Homemaker's Paradise" would ever visit my blog, which could be subtitled "Homemaker's Paradise Lost" is beyond me, but she did, and we have Mavis to thank for our journey of learning. Thank you, Mavis. I am resisting the urge to say that you are a Beacon of knowledge, Mavis.

Part 2: Two Games You Should Know About

Game 1: Ladder Ball
So we spent the 4th with three other couples who are part of our Sunday night group which has been meeting for 7 years, at least.

Once again, I noticed a prominent recurring theme about this group: we're old.

In fact, we even broached the subject while we were "fellowshipping." And, while we're at it, just using the word "fellowshipping" denotes oldness.

Anyway, we were uber-fellowshipping through a new game called, "Ladder Ball." This is sort of like horseshoes, only the tossy things are aren't heavy like horseshoes, which is good because the middle-aged bones, they are melting. A lot of things melt in middle age--like your face and your b-oobs and sometimes, if a hot flash takes over, my entire friend will melt before my eyes. Awesome.

Ladder Ball is also called "Hillbilly Golf," and "The New Game Old People Play on July 4th." Ladder Ball is much safer than the old, old-people July 4th game, the death missiles formerly known as "lawn jarts." Remember those? Yikes.

Gee, wonder why there's not a big Jart revival nowadays. Jarts have gone the way of cherry bomb burns and rolling around in the back of the station wagon without seat belts, all dangerous delights of childhoods past.

But the guys in our group went especially crazy for Ladder Ball. I think I heard one exclaim, "Man, I dig this scene!"

Granted, it was a little weird when we had to keep saying ball-related phrases during our game amongst mixed company: "Do you want blue balls or red balls?" "Wait a minute-my balls got twisted." This is not a game you'd want to play with a bunch of middle school boys, for sure, unless you played it "Quaker Meeting" style, where no one could speak during the entire game. That would be the only way to get around the jokes.

So, if you are old, you should go to the Walmarts to get your lawn gnome on clearance and also pick up Ladder Ball, not to be confused with Bladder Ball, even though one of our rounds was delayed because a certain woman in the group could not wait another minute to go to the little girls' room, and after that, set us back by melting into the grass. Fun times.

Game 2: Corn Hole, the new and improved bean bag game that is sweeping the nations, especially college campuses, even those that aren't Holiness Schools of Higher Ground Learning.

Kids like to paint their own boxes with their school logos. My friend's college daughter painted hers sky blue and then painted white daisies on them. (Because even girly-girls love to chuck a bean bag once in a while.)

This is my 86-year-old father playing corn hole on Father's Day. He has better form than the men in our group playing Ladder Ball did.

So if you really want to be cool in your fashionable retro-oldness, all you need is one of these games and a Mr. Microphone, and you've got it goin' on. Trivia: Do you remember what the guy in the Mr. Microphone commercial is saying???


Kim said...

Oh my word, I remember jarts!!! In fact, one 4th of July is imprinted on my memory when the jarts commenced AFTER the drinking had commenced and one lovely lady who was setting the picnic table and was-not-even-close-to-where-they-were-playing got nailed in the calf with a jart. I remember her kids crying as she left in an ambulance (the jart embedded itself several inches into her leg since the man who had thrown it had given it the 'good ole college try'). Being a fearful child by nature, that episode almost soured me on 4th of Julys front then on.

Chatty Kelly said...

"Hey good looking, we'll be back to pick you up later." Can you imagine?? Now days, someone would call the police if that happen. CHILD ABDUCTION! SEXIST PIG! NOISE POLLUTION!

Ahhh, the good old days!

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

We are big fans of Ladder Ball here. I got it for Scotty for his bday and it has been a hit. It took the guy at WalMart about 40 minutes to find it on the shelf for me. Now we need Corn Hole!

Teri said...

I was at a Party on the 4th with these very exact games! There really weren't very many old people either. At least none that I noticed, although, they could have melted before I got there.

Also, I was already thinging about the middle school balls jokes because, well I happen to live with a middle schooler at the moment...and between him and his little brother, it is all they talk about. So much so that I have had to convince my Zoe that she doesn't have them. (She just wants to join in on all the fun conversation!) Poor child, it could come out in therapy someday. For now, I'll just buy her some more polly pockets and pink...much more pink. (I kid.)

Have a wonderful day.

Roxanne said...

I cannot imagine that saying "I got my balls tangled" would be greeted with any more laughter than yelling out "Corn Hole" when your bean bag hit the mark.

Sharon said...

That's a blast from the past!! I think the guy with the Mr. Microphone, who is quite the curly haired hunk, is saying "HEY GOOD LOOKIN' -- WE'LL BE BACK TO PICK YOU UP"! Am I close?

Viki said...

Funny you should mention corn hole. My husband asked me if I ever heard of corn hole tournaments just last week. I kept thinking he was saying corn hull LOL. We didn't know what it was so I googled it and was surprised. I didn't know it was such a big thing.

Oh and on the plant, years ago we had a plant like that. My husband let it grow and grow but we never knew what it was. It does look similar. Finally, he dug it out.

Breanne Vasquez said...

Again you had me cracking up!! I guess hillbilly golf is the new thing - it seems lots of people played it over the holiday.

Mocha with Linda said...

Wow. And all we did on the 4th was fireworks.

Never heard of Jarts. I thought you meant to type Darts, until I saw it repeated several times.

Personally, I am a pro at Bladder Ball.

PJ said...

"Wait a minute my balls got twisted?" ROTFL (I'm around middle school kids waaaay too much!!)

Paula (SweetPea) said...

I don't remember Mr. Microphone but boy I remember the darts. That brought back memories.

I have played corn hole and it is addictive. I can see why it's sweeping the nation. We have tournaments in our parts even.

I'm still a little corn-fused about the Ladder Ball. I guess you just toss the ball to hit the hanging balls.

Glad you solved your weed problem. I guess since you now have document proof that this is a weed, and a poisonous one at that, your hubby will ablige and cut 'er down?

Anonymous said...

Here in the northwest ladder ball is called Blongo ball and I am the Blongo ball champion! My kids love playing it too. A great family game.

Susan said...

We love both of these games. I actually thought both were kind of "midwest" things since I'd not heard of either until my trip to Ohio last Summer. We have since been able to buy "Ladder Golf" here in Florida and played it at DS 2's Graduation. I have yet to see Corn Hole anywhere except up there in the "Corn Fields" where my family lives. BUT we did hijack one and bring it down here to play.

By the way, I also learned about Bocce Ball up there. It hasn't taken on quite as fast here either...but you CAN purchase it in the store.

So now you know all about these games in the Sunshine State.

:-) Susan

Kim @ Through My back door window said...

We have seen "homemade" ladder ball games while we've been camping and wondered, just what the heck it was. My guess was always a fancy laundry hanger thingy. Who knew!

If you think you're old because you remember lawn jarts than I must be a relic. Loved that game in the "day!"

40winkzzz said...

We have LadderBall, and we have a 12-y/o boy. 'Nuff said. We actually have had ours for a year. I guess we are a little more advanced up here in MI than you folks below.

In two days it is going to a week-long family reunion with the kids & me. Fortunately, all the other middle-school age kids at the reunion will be girls. Thanks for the reminder; I'll have to give my son "the talk" before we go. Can't have him making Balls jokes around the relatives. Come to think of it, it's probably a good thing my 46-going-on-14 hubby isn't going.

pS- Just noticed that your blog now allows Anonymous comments. Hmmm...

sara said...

OMG, I nearly killed my mother with a yard dart!!! She was sun-bathing in the back yard and I threw my yard dart too landed a mere couple of feet from her!!!!

Kelley said...

We have neighbors who moved here from Ohio and they say "corn hole" is a blast! I have never heard of ladder ball but I am always up for trying a new game. Contrary to our reputation, Kansas can be a little slow in catching on to what the rest of the country is doing.

Marina said...

ok,Linda you had me at Elvis singing Poke sald Annie then you lost me with the ball games...
Ok so I Love Elvis and Donny Osmond too so what does these have to do with Pokeweed and balls LOL!!!!!:),

annie's eyes said...

Ladder ball! Our new favorite game. The kids brought it home for our Fourth celebration and we were "hooked." We also played washers, horseshoes, etc. and even shot skeet (welcome to Texas) I love these games. Even in the heat.
Love, Annette