Monday, August 11, 2008

Monday Randomness

First of all, if I didn't get around to reading and commenting at your place during the last couple of days, it was because I was too wimpy-sick. Computer time was at a minimum. My throat looks like moles have dug little holes all in it and sprayed red graffiti all over it. And you know me, I never exaggerate for effect or sympathy. OK, this is Dramatic Prairie Dog, not a mole, but I wanted you to get the full effect of animals burrowing into my soft tissue and holding a barbecue.

Random bullet #1: Have you noticed on Sitemeter that there are "girly" ads at the top and sides of the page now? What's up with that?

And it's always the same three girls. Looks like those three would've found somebody by now, poor little lonely things. They obviously need mentors, like Aunt Eller in Oklahoma, who fixed Laurey's picnic basket for the social which finally went for $42.31! Now that's power! But no, they insist on bein' Ado Annies. Tarts!

Random bullet #2: I found an English lit book in the black hole also known as Lost and Found in my office at work. I looked for the owner's name, but instead, this note fell out: "Do you smell my dress from where you're sitting? I got it at the rummage sale and haven't washed it yet. Gross. I know." Yep. And terribly funny.

Random bullet #3: Even though I felt like moles had planted lit cherry bombs in the holes that they bore into my throat, I fixed a HAM for my family Saturday.

For those of you who are fairly new here, I should state that I have an antagonistic relationship with ham and ham. This is really unfortunate because my youngest child loves ham. When she was little, she would eat bucket loads of the little ham cubes at salad bars. Her delight in ham knows no bounds. Her favorite sandwich is at Great Stake and Potato: "Ham Explosion," which cracks me up. I have enough near-ham-explosions right in my own kitchen, let alone pay one to explode. But, my daughter, she loves the ham.

So I was determined to prepare this one as fast and furious as I could before I coughed or collapsed on it, because wouldn't that just be my luck, to keel over on a ham and have the toothpick holding the pineapple ring poke my heart and kill me. It would almost be poetic.

This time, the only mishap was that I completely sliced my finger on the lid of the pineapple can, which might not appear to be ham-related at all, but knowing devious hams like I do, I totally know that somehow the evil ham caused the cut.

So, if you take into account hot flashes and finger cuts, you could say I poured my blood, sweat and tears into that ham.

And ladies and gentlemen, the crowd went wild! And then I collapsed.

20 comments:

Linda said...

We had ham for all of the "special" occasions growing up at my house. Christmas and picnics always included ham sandwiches. I HATE ham. So I would eat cheese. I don't like any meat that has fat jelly like stuff clinging to it. My poor husband likes ham and has to settle for deli meat and occasional surprises at friend's homes.

Watch out for those pineapple can cuts...they can be painful!

Chatty Kelly said...

Okay, now go get a strep test. Dr Chatty says so.

Hope you feel better.

Jen said...

I love the prairie dog -- although he looks suspiciously like one of our two guinea pigs. And Hunk O Man also cut himself last night on a can of peaches (for dump cake, serves him right!). Other than that, I just hope you feel better. Sounds like could be strep. You might wanna get yo'self over to the doc.
xox

Susanne said...

Even when you're sick your funny! Sorry you're not feeling well. Those hole digging, cherry bomb planting moles are vicious!

Glad to hear you had a happy ham story!

Smilingsal said...

We love to have spiral cut honey basted ham.

Mocha with Linda said...

The picture of that ham is how I imagined your throat looking. Get thee to the doctor straightaway for a swab.

skoots1mom said...

gargle with warm salt water several times a day...


Psalm 41:3
The LORD will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness.

Linda said...

Sorry your not feeling well. You crack me up!!

Stop by my blog..I left something for you on it.

Pam from alertandorientedx4.blogspot.com said...

Swabbish your throat. Sore throats su*k. I had my tonsils out when I was 42.....I would rather have labored on hot coals and given birth to a littler of porcupines with no epidural than endure that again. Yes, I am wimpy. But that was the absolutely WORST experience of my life. I didn't cry in labor. I cried when I had my tonsils out. I hope it's just drippieness, but sounds strep-ish. Sorry about it! Praying for ya!

Debbie said...

Hope you're feeling better today.

You really need to get a Pampered Chef can opener...

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

Several things:

1) For you, I love the Pampered Chef can opener idea from Debbie. You should look into that.

2) Your ham looks like it might have tasted good, but it looks...evil, or something.

3) I have two awards for you at my blog...come see!

Chel - An Abiding Branch said...

One thing this family knows for sure is strep stinks in more ways than one. Take this test, ask your dtr to smell your breath if she agrees and passes smooth out then it is strep seek immediate attention. NO, really! lol

I pray that you feel better! I hate strep and throat junk. Glad to see it does not damper your humor!

BTW, yes, I know the ads must go. You know my 9 year old now knows what a woman barely dressed looks like in bed thanks to someone's secret....it is out and no longer a secret store!!! geez, can't some things be left to the imagination any more?

Chel

Laurie Ann said...

Yikes, Linda! I'm so sorry you're not feeling well, but pleased to see it hasn't affected your Good Humor.

Marina said...

I am sorry your not feeling well hope you feel better soon,love marina

My ADHD Me said...

O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A OKLAHOMA

(that's the first thing that comes to mind)

"MoodyBlue" Jodi said...

If a pizza could purposely burn me for laughing at it, then a pineapple can can purposely cut you. LOL!

That dress story - That is SOOO funny. Gross, but funny.

I hope you are feeling better!!!! *hugs*

Becky said...

Hilarious! You crack me up :-D


Sorry you are sick... get well soon!

annie's eyes said...

Interesting. Perhaps there is an inverse relationship in how much our kids like something and how much we despise making it. My daughter loves ham too, but it's chicken and dumplings at our house for the meal that I hate to make that they all scream for. My daughter says tell your daughter to try Denny's "Moon over Mi Hamm i" sandwich. Stacks of the stuff that pleases...Feel better soon, Linda. Love, A

Edie said...

Hope you're feeling better, throat and finger. :)

Susan said...

I have to tell you once I learned to cook the ham in the crock pot, it has never been the same. A little water, a little brown sugar and mustard...let it go all day...it's YUMMY!!