But I'm going to be nice and not say that. But I will say, "Oh, Pierce. Some people loved you as 007. But Remington Steele was ... sigh." I think Stephanie Zimbalist's character has had the last laugh on Mr. Steele.
Observations about "Mama Mia!":
*Appropos the title, why wasn't it set in Italy?
* Why don't I like musicals when every female in the world including Rosie O'Donnell loves them? Chromosomal abnormality? Why couldn't it have been hot flashes that I do not share with my sex?
* You know how they just used one word, "Grease" for the title of that show? If they were going to go with one word for "Mama Mia!" it would be "Drinks!" Or maybe, "Greece."
* I kept thinking, "Who is the target audience of this movie? Who are they trying to reach? Who? Who?" But then I looked around the theater, and besides the two rows of women I went with whose average age is probably 49, I'd say everyone else in the audience was exactly a 50 year-old female. Not quite Grandmama Mia, but almost. I am she. I am the target audience. I am the oldness.
* So glad to see the salute to any lifestyle of choice besides a traditional one, because if there's one storyline that's not being done to death in films and TV today, it's that there's more than one way to be married and form a family that's way better than 99% of the audience's way. Seriously, is there any bigger cliche now?
* Remember when you studied Greek mythology? There was always a Greek chorus narrating and moving the plot along. Well, there is actually a Greek chorus singing back up in most of these songs. Thought process: "Oh, so that's what it must have been like in ancient Greece. You said, 'I'm going to fetch the sheep,' and then 10 people turned and sang enthusiastically, 'You're going to fetch the sheep now!'" Marriage therapists have been trying to get couples to communicate in this mirror-messaging fashion for years, but the Greeks totally originated it.
* I don't understand the casting of this movie. Christine Baransky plays a sort of a middle-aged Rizzo sidekick-type to Donna (Streep), only not a mean Rizzo, or that other "b" word people toss about lightly now but a supportive Rizzo. Julie Walters was a sort of nice Rizzo, too, only less drunk and only a little less man-hungry. They formed a friendship stemming from being a singing act in the 1970s. On Mars, apparently.
The three male leads (Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgard, Pierce Brosnan) were also, a-hem, woefully mature. But the casting part I can't understand most of all is the singing ability of the cast. Meryl Streep did fine, I guess, and the young female lead, Amanda Seyfried, was sweet as dew on honeysuckle. I had just seen Seyfried in "Mean Girls" the other evening on TV and didn't even recognize her in the movie.
But the males? Their singing? Oh, I almost crawled under my seat looking for ABC gum to re-wet and stick into my ears and eyes and nostrils and scalp pores.
* Meryl Streep wearing overalls. Playing air guitar. Executing an Olympian gold-standard toe-touch while jumping on a bed. Jumping off a pier. Just generally jumping around a lot. Has Meryl never delivered a child vaginally? Because how does she jump like that and not diddle in her overalls?
* ABBA. What the heck does it mean in Swedish? Oh, those songs were great. I didn't even know how much I liked them. There was one song I thought they weren't going to
* Highlight of the movie: I think this was the most beautifully filmed movie I've ever seen. Every scene was a delight; my eyes darted all over taking it all in. It's difficult to describe. Even the walls in the villa were gorgeous. Splashes of Mediterranean hues everywhere, pastels and brights, ethereal clothing, gorgeous water and sky ... I guess the one word that describes that whole movie is "vibrant." Where it lacks talent, sense and ... sense, it exudes vibrancy and dare I say it? Fantasy.
And just in case you think I've been too hard on Pierce, behold the short video below, but be ready.
Then check out ABBA rocking the blue eye shadow in 1978. Feel free to dance around your family room singing into a hairbrush, having the time of your life, Dancing Queen. And don't miss my other ABBA fav in the 2nd (it's actually the 3rd on this page, though): "Take a Chance on Me." Note that the girls have on the same clothes in both videos. ? At about 2:55 into the 2nd ABBA one, the brunette busts some awesome moves.
PS: I had this great idea. You saw it here first, so consider it copyrighted. I think I'll write a whole musical using songs from Electric Light Orchestra!