Monday, September 29, 2008
T Minus 1 and Counting!
In the words of Gayle, "Ohhhhh, I'm EXCITED!" I don't know what that little sound is that she makes right after she talks about posting the button on her blog, but every time I replay her video for someone, I just crack up out loud. [I think she says, "Whatever," but I'm not sure. I only wish I could recreate that sound.] I Ken Lee you, Gayle!
I have now put the finishing touches on my video, a video that only a mom could love, and that's only after she's had a swig of the cooking sherry.
People, I tried so hard to be engaging and entertaining, but I'm convinced I'm the illegitimate child of Henry Kissinger.
Therefore, here are some disclaimers about the video so that you are forewarned before you ever click play:
1. I am not pregnant. I just play a pregnant woman on home videos.
2. I have trouble maintaining eye contact with people when I talk. Two reasons: 1. Insecurity 2. I forget what I'm saying because I'm looking at the person who is making me feel insecure just by breathing. As a result, I roll my eyes around a lot. But I want you to know that I am indeed human, and not one of these:
3. The low-level of presentation flair is sad. Maybe if you add water to (or throw a cup of espresso at) your screen, I will come to life.
4. I do not actually have a kitchen light fixture growing out of my head; I just played a joke on you using and old camera trick called "perspective." Ha.
5. I should explain that when my dog rolls over, I'm pointing my finger at her like it's a gun and saying, "bang." You will never see that trick anywhere else on Earth. Razzle. Dazzle.
6. Vocab lesson: I created a new word just or you in this post, "unmercilessly," which is a cross between "unmercifully" and "mercilessly." You're welcome.
7. I inadvertently call the video post a blog. I hate it when people say, "Are you going to write a blog about [fill in the blank]? Usually writing a blog about a topic is a bit of an overkill. There is, in fact, a difference between giving away a prize at the end of your post as opposed to the end of your blog, and yet I said that I was giving one away at the end of my blog. So strictly speaking, that giveaway might be a few years from now, Lord willin'.
8. You should've never gotten me started on musicals. It is your fault. And my daughter Katie's fault.
OK--Finally--and you're not going to believe I'm asking for this, but I am: prayer! Because Jorge is traveling, which means I must hit the publish button and open my eyes to see if it actually worked, Mr. Linky and all, completely ON MY OWN.
*WHAT IF THIS BOMBS?*
What if I publish and the error message says, "No way. Your html is messed up; your Mr. Linky is all wrong, and besides, there's a kitchen light fixture growing out of your head, Miss Googly Eyes, so why don't you just hang this up?" Oy vey, or something like that. So, yeah, please say a little prayer that the technical stuff goes OK since I am hosting for the first time.
Also, there is bomb potential in the sense of "crickets." I'm picturing women viewing my particular video as sitting at their monitors with a cup of cold coffee and wide, blink-less eyes like owls. No reaction. At. All. I'm already hearing the whistle of bombs in the back of my head. And the Sound of Music.
So I guess that's it. I'm signing off until tomorrow ...
Until I See What You're Saying!