Monday, September 29, 2008

T Minus 1 and Counting!

In the words of Gayle, "Ohhhhh, I'm EXCITED!" I don't know what that little sound is that she makes right after she talks about posting the button on her blog, but every time I replay her video for someone, I just crack up out loud. [I think she says, "Whatever," but I'm not sure. I only wish I could recreate that sound.] I Ken Lee you, Gayle!

I have now put the finishing touches on my video, a video that only a mom could love, and that's only after she's had a swig of the cooking sherry.

People, I tried so hard to be engaging and entertaining, but I'm convinced I'm the illegitimate child of Henry Kissinger.

Therefore, here are some disclaimers about the video so that you are forewarned before you ever click play:

1. I am not pregnant. I just play a pregnant woman on home videos.

2. I have trouble maintaining eye contact with people when I talk. Two reasons: 1. Insecurity 2. I forget what I'm saying because I'm looking at the person who is making me feel insecure just by breathing. As a result, I roll my eyes around a lot. But I want you to know that I am indeed human, and not one of these: myspace layouts

3. The low-level of presentation flair is sad. Maybe if you add water to (or throw a cup of espresso at) your screen, I will come to life.

4. I do not actually have a kitchen light fixture growing out of my head; I just played a joke on you using and old camera trick called "perspective." Ha.

5. I should explain that when my dog rolls over, I'm pointing my finger at her like it's a gun and saying, "bang." You will never see that trick anywhere else on Earth. Razzle. Dazzle.

6. Vocab lesson: I created a new word just or you in this post, "unmercilessly," which is a cross between "unmercifully" and "mercilessly." You're welcome.

7. I inadvertently call the video post a blog. I hate it when people say, "Are you going to write a blog about [fill in the blank]? Usually writing a blog about a topic is a bit of an overkill. There is, in fact, a difference between giving away a prize at the end of your post as opposed to the end of your blog, and yet I said that I was giving one away at the end of my blog. So strictly speaking, that giveaway might be a few years from now, Lord willin'.

8. You should've never gotten me started on musicals. It is your fault. And my daughter Katie's fault.

OK--Finally--and you're not going to believe I'm asking for this, but I am: prayer! Because Jorge is traveling, which means I must hit the publish button and open my eyes to see if it actually worked, Mr. Linky and all, completely ON MY OWN.


What if I publish and the error message says, "No way. Your html is messed up; your Mr. Linky is all wrong, and besides, there's a kitchen light fixture growing out of your head, Miss Googly Eyes, so why don't you just hang this up?" Oy vey, or something like that. So, yeah, please say a little prayer that the technical stuff goes OK since I am hosting for the first time.

Also, there is bomb potential in the sense of "crickets." I'm picturing women viewing my particular video as sitting at their monitors with a cup of cold coffee and wide, blink-less eyes like owls. No reaction. At. All. I'm already hearing the whistle of bombs in the back of my head. And the Sound of Music.

So I guess that's it. I'm signing off until tomorrow ...

Until I See What You're Saying!


Heth said...

I can't wait to "see" you.

Chatty Kelly said...

Can't wait - yes you see all the mistakes in your own video. I see all the ones in mine. We are our own worst critics. My belly accidentally peaks out of my shirt at one point. BLECH! Don't raise your arms up over your head unless you are wearing a housecoat or something! Oh well.

Can't wait! Hope Mr Linky works!

The Patterson 5 said...

It will be great! I can't wait to see it!

Mocha with Linda said...

Can't wait to see it, and this makes me really glad I don't have the video capability to participate! You crack me up, Lid 1!!

And I think it's safe to assume this woman won't be coming over with her 2nd cup!

Smilingsal said...

You'll be fine. I'll come by and watch. I promise I won't just stare.

DidiLyn said...

See ya tomorrow!

Bah ha ha! I crack myself up! Pretty easily, too, I might add.;-)

Teri~Facedown said... your glass half empty today? It will all be fine! (By the way, you broke out the "dude" first, last week in a comment on my post about Rockband.)
Another by the way...I haven't even begun to think about my video post...yikes...I am down to the wire!

Sandy Toes said...

I can't wait to see you! I wish I could do it but I don't have the equipment!

Happy Monday!
-Sandy Toes

Laurie Ann said...

And this is why I Ken Lee your blog - I laughed all the way through it. I will be praying all things technical go well. I can't wait to see it! Happy Monday.

Kelly @ Love Well said...

I'll be playing with you.

So at least it will be you and me and Gayle against the owls.

Amy B said...

Oh girl! You are so much fun! I can't wait to see this, uh you, uh us. I really have to get my video done. I am going to show the world the real me. The one my husband and children live with. I will unmercilessly deliver a blog via video that you can be proud of. :)

Thanks, Linda!

Anonymous said...

OK you convinced me to participate with this post. :)

samurai said...

i doubt this will bomb... i think it's a very clever way of getting to know one another.

Erin said...

Okay, I totally get the whole eye rolling around to avoid eye contact. I do that. And I DID that a lot in my video. I can't even look at my camera for more than 2 seconds at a time. I can't wait to see the videos and I'm sure everyone will wish they hadn't seen mine, because I was bored watching it, lol : ) But after 5 tries, I was just finished trying to make it better.

carrie said...

I'm excited too!!!

I've already had a fight with Youtube this morning trying to get my video up, so now I'm trying vimeo. I hope it works.

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

You're making me even more nervous because honestly, I got nothin' ... nada ... zip. I'll continue thinking about anything that would be remotely interesting for tomorrow.

Stacey said...

LOL you're so funny! I'll be back tomorrow to hear you in person--I'm probably not doing it, but idk. Maybe. By the way, which song did you end up with?

Becky said...

LOL and then some by golly!!! It can't be any worse than mine. :-p I know for sure my video has crickets, not to mention awkward pauses and weird faces. You have been forewarned.

I hope everything works out on your end. I can't wait to watch them all.

Teresa said...

You are WAY TOO funny, girlfriend! You are wasting your talents on us. I think you need to go big time. Get your own tv show or at least a late night radio talk show!

Merrie said...

I can't wait to see what everyone is saying. I'm chicken and very challenged and can NOT figure out how in the world to do this thing - besides.. I can't think of anything to SAY!
But, I for SURE will be tuning in!

Anonymous said...

The smiley face you used after providing reason #2 regarding why you don't maintain eye contact made me laugh out loud!

Perfect use of smiley faces...well done!

Tammy said...

Oh, I'm so on the fence about doing this, Linda!
But since you admitted to the same problem that I have...not always looking people in the eye because I'm insecure...well, that makes me a bit better! Not secure, mind you...;)

Come over and read my impressions of the movie, Fireproof if you get the chance!

And I'll be sure to at the very least, tune in tomorrow for all the face to face meetings!

Chatty Kelly said...

You realize you have to run around to all the blogs and watch ALL the videos and leave comments since this is your baby, right?? I mean, I totally expect a comment from you tomorrow telling me you KEN LEE my video that I made just for you. I sing baby. And I CANNOT SING at all. So I am publicly humiliating myself just for you. Kind of like the lady in the Ken Lee video.

So SEE you tomorrow morning!

Sara @ Butterville said...

I am glad to see I'm not the only one whose got the jitters. and tried to perfect their video! Arrgh I gave up after 4 trys. But I'm still doing it. It's excting...& a bit scary.

Marina said...

I can't wait to hear you"))!marina

Growin' with it! said...

oh i think you are WAAAAY to hard on yourself. i bet we are all nervous and critic our own videos. but don't let it ruin the fun. we'll love ya, light bulb and all...i'm sure of it!

see ya!

THE ROOST said...

Can't wait to see it! Very funny POST!

Edie said...

You will be fine. I can say that cause I'm not going to be on the screen. :) I will very much enjoy watching... I mean seeing what everyone says.

His Girl said...

very, very, very entertaining.

mine? well. I tried.

can't wait to see what everyone does.

ummmhello said...

Thanks for stopping by Life As A Momma :)
I love your idea about posting videos to actually *gasp* get to know people!!!