Friday, April 17, 2009

The One Where the Old Guy Rams His Bicycle Into My Car

Every day, an elderly man, sorta like this guy here, rides his bicycle around our church's campus.

Round and round in a big circle he goes, like the kid named Adam Farmer in Robert Cormier's I Am the Cheese.

Our "Adam" is kind of a grumpy dude who doesn't really like it when cars enter or leave the lot. Because you know, it's his track. He has been known to throw staff an unkind word and unsympathetic look when we dare to leave for lunch or go home.

Perhaps he thinks we should join him.

Anyway, today, he came staggering into my office saying, "Who has the green Camaro?"

And that's when I crawled under my desk because I thought I had left it in gear and that it had rolled over the man who was barely alive to tell about it.

But no, he said, "I just hit your car."

Come again?

He said, "I don't know what happened. I guess I was just so caught up in the moment that I didn't see it until I was right-up on it."

So it tore the cover on the front, aka "Le Bra," but I think no real damage was done. Except maybe to Adam Farmer, who said, "And I hit my artificial knee."

Uh-oh.

So I had to fill out an accident report because ... a man ran his bike into my car. Which was sitting in plain view in a parking lot with nothing else around it for yards and yards.

How odd.

I should be more upset, but how could I be when I know this is exactly the kind of thing I do as a normal course in life?

Perhaps "Adam" is my soul mate, and fate had him ram my car, like a sucker punch of love.

Nah. I still like Jorge the Jabanero. But he'd better watch his back. The vultures are circling.

29 comments:

Lelia Chealey said...

OH my goodness!! I'm sorry, but this is hilarious! Hopefully his insurance will cover the Le Bra! But one Camaro driver must ask herself..do bikers have insurance?

Oh my, thanks for the laugh!
love ya,
lelia

Karin Katherine said...

LOL....great post. I wonder what had him so "caught in the moment?"

Linda said...

ROFL!! I mean come on, it's a green Camaro. I love the pic you found, it is making me laugh even harder.
Thanks for the post.

H-Mama said...

so sorry about your car. i must say that i love your wit in writing... your soul mate? buahahaha...

mtnest423 said...

When I worked at our church, we had a guy like that - only he was a runner. Over and over, every single day. And in the summer he would run with no shirt and very short shorts. Ugh. I'm thankful not to work there anymore just so I don't have to see that!!!

Rachelle said...

Oh My! At least it made a good blog post! Happy Friday!

a Tonggu Momma said...

Only you, Linda. It would only happen to you. (Or - in this case - your car.)

Dena said...

Well that's what you get for parking in a parking lot.

Mocha with Linda said...

Surely this goes in the "I Know You Think I Make This Stuff Up" file. You are a magnet for bizarre stuff, my friend. Hilarious.

Lois Lane II said...

I LOVE this story. It seriously made me laugh. Good story to wake up to, lol!

Susanne said...

Sucker punch of love. Hahahahahaha. You made me spew my coffee.

How odd that all these odd things happen to you. LOL.

sara said...

only you Linda, only you!!

Debbie @Like a Rose said...

I'm with Tonggu Momma - thing like this only happen to you (and my sister Jane). Sorry about the car - hillarious post though.

Melissa said...

Ok, that is hilarious! A sucker punch of love!!!
Was he wearing a helmet?

Melanie @ This Ain't New York said...

Oh, Man. I hate to laugh at other's expense but... LOL!

Laurie Ann said...

Wow. Who'd have thought that would happen in like, ever? Those artificial knees are tough. Hope he has good bike insurance, LOL. Bless his heart, though, seriously, and yours, too! I bet you were, um, surprised.

skoots1mom said...

rofl...made me think of walter matthau in "grumpy old men" :)

you mean you didn't crawl out from under the desk as you were pulling a "30x5--come join us" card out of your back pocket...he would have been a wonderful addition from the manly perspective (since ObeONE/Greg is our lone male...not saying that Greg's grumpy or anything like that)
Maybe you need to start driving a monster pickup...(http://www.roadtransport.com/blogs/big-lorry-blog/2009/03/the-worlds-biggest-pickup-truc.html)
that would ensure everyone is sure to SEE your vehicle ;)

Angela said...

I Agree with Linda(the Mocha variety Linda)...this does belong in the "You think I make this stuff up"

Also, I related to this as it gave me a flashback. At first glance, people may not think you and I have anything in common because you are Laugh-a-butt-off funny (kind of stole that line from Sarah at LITP--see my FB page for details) and I am not very funny...at all.

But, when I was in the fourth grade, I was riding my bike in a huge parking lot and so was an elderly gentle man...I was not good at breaking and somehow ran right into him. He fell off his bike and rolled down a small hill. The guilt was horrible and when I saw him just laying there in a ditch I thought he was dead. I truly did,because I was 9 and he was 80 (he was my best friend's grandpa, so I really do know he was 80 and didn't just look it) and he just lay there still for what seemed like an eternity.

Fortunately he got up, limped to his bike, forgave me, and pushed his bike back home.

I don't make this stuff up either.

Mrs. E said...

Maybe there are cosmic forces at work here-- and now he'll be nice to ya'll! (Well, wishful thinking!)

Debra said...

I'm new to your blog and I'm really enjoying it! So sorry about your car, but love the fact that you had grace and didn't get too mad at him. I wonder if he needs glasses? Maybe he should get a car to drive and then his knee will be a little more protected! lol

Kim said...

What? He wasn't wearing knee pads? I imagine old people who ride bikes to wear helmets, knee pads, shin guards, and whatever other protective gear they can find. This must be one confident, skilled (most of the time) cyclist.

I'm afraid I can totally relate to him being "in the moment" and hitting a lone car in a big parking lot. My first accident involved hitting the only boulder in a three mile stretch of highway.

And I'm guessing by your (fairly) calm demeanor that you totally relate as well. So what have you run into in years past?

Carmen Gamble said...

So funny! Great attitude!

Chatty Kelly said...

I drove a silver camero back in the day. I drive a mini-van now. Ah, how life has changed. :-)

Hattie said...

Linda,
I never before have read your blog. Just found it now while blog hopping. This post is soooo funny. (well, maybe I should not say funny.) I thought it must be an April Fool's post, only to check and find it is Today's date!! LOL

Mimi said...

Poor guy! He must have been having a really good daydream. Thank goodness he rides a bike instead of driving!

tiffany said...

Caught up in the moment? LOL

Pam Warden Art said...

Today, as I dried my hair under the towel, I stuck my thumb in my eye. It was odd and hurt. Then later in the day I put my glasses on while holding my keys in the same hand and stuck my key in my eye. I just thought that today my eye was like your car in a very strange way...with nobody parked anywhere nearby. And like that man, I felt strangely compelled to tell my husband, "I poked myself in the eye again."
Hugs,
Pam

Brenda Susan said...

Ha! Poor old guy! Who do you think you are, parking your car in the parking lot of all places?

I like his "caught in the moment" statement. Sounds like he was having a good time...until your car ruined it anyway.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the great laugh! "Le Bra" - SWEET!