Sunday, August 24, 2014
I told myself that if I wanted them that badly, I'd have to walk.
I should be real with you and myself regarding this: when the M&M mood hits, I'd crawl with my forehead scraping the sidewalk for that slick yellow package of sunshine in a candy shell. Truth is, I would've gotten to the candy by riding a dragon and wearing a fig leaf, if need be.
It's the peanut kind, in particular, my favorite. Now, I've purchased generic chocolate covered peanuts many times, telling myself they're cheaper and just as good.
Once AGAIN I "tell myself" something and am found out to be not just a liar but a crazy liar.
So I entered the store, turned off my music, paused my step counter, purchased the candy and a newspaper, then headed out.
I told myself I could wait until I got home to enjoy them during a movie or crossword.
Why do I keep "telling myself" things? No one is listening.
I opened the candy, took a bite and noticed something slightly off in taste and texture.
I stopped for a second and considered whether something might be tainted or out of date or chewed on by mice already.
But as I said, I stopped for a SECOND and no more, then promptly ate the rest.
Walking along and chewing, I wondered about this. If I took one nibble of chicken and suspected it of ANY deviation from what I expect, I'd spit that sucker out. I'm completely scared of any food that just isn't acting right.
But M&Ms? It's not the same.
Look at the scientific data:
1 bite of questionable egg: GAG, spit, brush teeth, throw carton away
1 bite of questionable chicken: GAG, spit, brush, purge food from house
1 bite of questionable M&M: Keep on keepin on until it feels right.
In other data:
If I thought there was a 50/50 chance of the M&Ms being bad, would I, the subject, choose to refrain from eating? No.
70? Yes. I'd have to go all the way to 70% suspicious before I'd abstain.
That's pretty serious.
So that's why I look like "Oh well," in the picture. "If they were bad and I'm gonna die, at least my last meal was my favorite. Worth it!"