Saturday Stupidness ~ I Love Christopher Guest Movies

Recently, I explained the origin of a well-worn phrase in my verbiage: "Dumped for Barbie." We have another saying around our house which applies to many situations, especially when something has gone wrong, and you're the one to blame, but you don't want to take the blame, so you just shrug your shoulders and say, "Wha' happen?"

Also, I'll be off to the library to write today because "I can't do my werrrk" here at home.

Here is the incredibly hilarious Fred Willard explaining the origin of "Wha' happen?"

Saturday Stirrings at It Coulda Been Worse

I'm doing a recipe thing at Saturday Stirrings.

In the words of Dr. Pearl in Waiting for Guffman (Eugene Levy): LOOK OUT!


Serving suggestions: Do not add lids from cans, ants, entire spoons, totally wrong ingredients. None of these work out well. Trust me.


Greek Salad

Pint of cherry tomatoes, sliced in half

1 chopped green pepper

2 diced cucumbers

4-6 oz. sugar snap peas or snow peas sliced in half

1 can black olives, drained

1/2 container of Athenos feta cheese

1/2 large red onion chopped

1 pkg. Great Seasonings Herb and Garlic Dressing prepared per directions (or Italian or Greek dressing in bottle)

Mix all together and refrigerate for a couple of hours at least. Better if it marinates over night.

American Idol Recap

First: A little housekeeping. Every time I see that espresso drip up there, I am filled with joy. I'm still working on fixing up a couple of things on this new design, so I appreciate your comments about the text.

Let's take a vote concerning readability of the text. Pretend you're in the eye doc's office getting that exam where you have a giant wheel stuck on your face. OK now,
"Which is better, 1 or 2?"

1. This is American Idol.
OR
2. The night belonged to Chikezie.

Did I just say that? Yep. Chikezie was off the heezie. (Outdated but rhymes nicely.) One of my favorite parts of this show which also occurred in the last show was the quick shot of Chikezie's family after he was declared safe last week and after he "smashed it," as Randy said, this week. I think it's Chikezie's mother or grandmother who throws up her hands and says, "Praise Jesus!" and some other unintelligible phrases. It was like a little church service happening in that row. It's very sweet, but it also makes me laugh because she looks like someone has been healed or the church just got a huge bequeathment right at the end of the year. I have replayed that moment several times. Ahhh, Tivo.

I loved Chikezie's unmitigated humble joy and Ryan's nuttiness to underscore it. I love this show.

I agree with the judges' observations about Ramiele's performance: catnap time. It was like a lullabye. Seriously, my thoughts drifted to other stuff besides the show during her number, which is not a good sign if that happened to the rest of America. The whole thing reminded me of Parker Posey's Dairy Queen speech in Waiting for Guffman:

been workin' here at the D.Q. for about, um... eight months? Seven? I don't know, somethin' like that, it's fun. Just do the cones... make sundaes, make Blizzards, 'n... put stuff on 'em, 'n... see a lot of people come in, a lot of people come to the D.Q... burgers... ice cream... anything, you know? Cokes... just drive in and get a Coke ... if you're thirsty.

Snooze.


Jason Castro: "If I Fell in Love with 'Hugh'?" I seriously think he pronounced "you" that way every time. All I could think of was this Hugh. America: does Jason secretly heart Hugh?

David Cook: I have tried to stay away from the hair, but I can no longer restrain myself. What is up with that comb-over? It's like someone sprayed a hose from the back and blasted his hair forward. I am married to a bald man who shaves off what he does have around the sides or leaves it barely there. Jorge embraces his baldness. He has made me sensitive to the comb-over, which is why I also don't like flat, sweeping bangs to the side on women. They remind me of Donald Trump. But since this is a singing competition, I have to give him credit. He's getting better and better.

Kristy Lee Cook is the opposite of David. She looks great but sings poorly. Oh, I guess she sings all right, but I am not a country fan, so it's hard for me to appreciate her style, especially the treatment (not even going to say arrangement) of "Eight Days a Week." [tiny wince of pain at the recollection]

David Archuleta: Oh how sad. I hope people don't send him home for having a middle-aged menopausal moment.

My final comment is about Amanda Overmyer, honors graduate of the Janis Joplin School of Musical Styling, apparently located somewhere in rural Indiana. I actually enjoyed her performance tonight for the first time ever. I was feeling all nice about myself liking her and being open-minded, until she did that corny Devil's Fingers thing with her tongue out like a 14 year-old boy in a garage band. If you're going to do Devil Fingers, at least put on a nice pantsuit and put your tongue back in your mouth, as demonstrated so elegantly here by LB:

Welcome to 2nd Cup of Coffee ~ Brewing since 2005

Because we just can’t get enough of the fluffy stuff from Halloween to Easter, Indiana is on the list for a 6” snowstorm over the next 24 hours. Therefore, I’m posting early in hopes of tricking the Power Outages That Be and in hopes of sidestepping a painful death due to being cut off from the rest of the world, meaning “bloggers,” especially those who blog about LOST. [*Edit: Who do you think is on the boat? I think Michael or CHOLLIE! Please let it be Charlie!] Please join me for the party below, featuring a "Getting To Know Me" post and sideshow slideshow.

So you’re clicking around the Ultimate Blog Party, eh? Congratulations on letting everything else in life slide while you "build community."

You have landed at 2nd Cup of Coffee, a place where I hope you’ll develop a new habit of stopping daily for the extra few moments it would take to sip a 2nd Cup. I try to write as if we’re sitting across the table from each other IRL. Except you can’t see my crazy eyes.

I created a slideshow to illustrate the topics I like to talk about. If you have any questions, please ask.

And here are a few bonus factoids:

-Humor moves me. Deeply.

-I have teenaged-early adult kids. They do not say cute things regularly. I can recommend some other blogs wherein you will read about kids saying the darnedest things, but here you will merely find odd quotes and mildly disturbing stories about high school and college kids, like, “Hello, Mom? Guess what? My dorm is on fire.”

-Hometown: Muncie, IN, home of Garfield the Cat and location for “Armed and Famous.” (Yes, I have seen Erik Estrada in person.)

-My teenaged son can text more messages than your kid.

-My dog embodies the only cuteness left in our home and the only pure goodness left in the world because she was not born with a sinful nature. And by the way, March 6 was her birthday, so she is now 6. To celebrate her birthday, she was allowed on the carpet, a very big deal. Don’t knock it until you’ve scooted your hinder on it. Heaven.

-Sometimes I have to purge my house of chocolate and oats and peanut butter because I will keep making and eating no bake cookies until I’m unconscious.

-I am 45. I work in the office of a youth ministry. I am blonde. I drive a Camaro. My Camaro also moves me. Deeply.

-My favorite movies are Waiting for Guffman and Signs. If you like Christopher Guest movies, we are automatic BFFs.

-I enjoy the music of Aaron Shust.

-Sometimes I post about serious stuff, but people seem to like it better when I post about American Idol (as in the post before this one). Wait a minute—what am I saying—that is serious stuff that requires informed voting by the American public.

-Sometimes I have to go on a shopping spree to buy massive amounts of chocolate and oats and peanut butter because I’m possessed by the spirit of No Bakes. Or the spirit of PMS.

Things I like to blog about:

I'm giving away a book--to be decided! Please leave a comment to be included in the drawing.

Power Outage

"We-elllllll, there's a winter storm a 'blowin across the Heartland today" (this is a folk song I'm making up as I go along in the spirit of one of my favorite movies, "A Mighty Wind.")

Yes, there's a winter storm a 'blowin across the Heartland today
Keepin' me from my daily Internet play--No way!

Not havin' my Internet service makes me holler, "Heidy-Ho-Hey!"
"Why is it so freakin' cold here; in Texas, it's like May."

No Internet,
No Internet.
Yes, no Internet today.

(Bring it down a notch now to a poignant whisper:)

If I had one Comcast question,
Oh, I'd just like to say
Why don't they adjust my outrageous bill ...
so I don't have to pay!

for

(Play it ROWDY now!)

No Internet,
No Internet
No Internet today!

So, if I don't come round to see you
I did not pass away
But there's no Internet, no Internet
In my Heartland hoooooome today.

See ya real soon!


College Daughter reminded me this weekend how much I love this song from the movie. If this completely cracks you up, we are soul sisters.

Chompin' Down Friday

TGIF-FTA= Thank Goodness It's Friday's Feast Time Again= Friday's Feast

Appetizer
Name something you think is “the best.”

That's hard because I use a lot of superlatives, which irritates my husband. But here's my list:

1. My husband
2. My salmon grilling (see last 2 posts below)
3. My blogroll friends, otherwise known as: the mighty winds beneath my wings (And I mean that in a good way. I really do. Honest.)
4. Jesus, who I would put at the top of my list, but time is short this morning.
5. My mom's roast and mashed potatoes, our Sunday meal when I was little
6. Best summer song: "Walkin' on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves, no relation to the hurricane Katrina and the waves with the lower case "w."
7. The perks at my job. Churches celebrate everything with food.
8. Best beach I've been to: Sarasota with white sand. Note: I'm not there right now.
9. Best movie in the comedy category: Tie: Waiting for Guffman, A Mighty Wind, Napoleon Dynamite
10: Best dog in the universe whom I always manage to mention in Friday's Feast: (The winner is): My Zoe.


Soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 highest), how stressed are you today?

6. I need to get ready for work, which has been declared "Dream Day" today by my boss, who wants us to come prepared with visionary ideas for the future of the ministry. I have trouble visualizing what to cook for dinner.

Salad
What kind of cleanser do you use to wash your face?

Dove, because they have won me over with their Real Beauty campaign

Main Course
Tonight is a blue moon! What is something that you believe only happens “once in a blue moon.”

Oh, how tempting to be wild and crazy here. Once in a blue moon, a talent like Sanjaya comes along. Once in a blue moon, my kids are either all at home with us, or they're all gone and we're alone. Once in a blue moon, I get a raise. Once in a blue moon, I lose a pound.

Dessert
When was the last time it rained where you live?

Last night on a lawn freshly mowed by the best husband.

"Whoooo Are You? Who, Who, Who, Who? (I Really Want to Know)"

First of all, as I began this, I mis-typed “blooger” for “blogger.” I think I have coined a new term, a cross between a booger and a loogey and a blog. It has to be a derogatory term, of course. Ex: “I can’t stand mean bloogers who disagree with me about my favorite food.” “Or, that post is full of tom-bloogery.” Or “That was a bloogericious thing to say.” It’s a pretty versatile term. Kind of proud of myself.

First of all (the real “first of all”), I want to announce that I have joined the ranks (copy-catted is what we used to say on my block) of several bloggers who have recently beautified their sites with Bluebird Blogs. I should be able reveal my makeover around the middle to end of November. I’m SO excited. If you know me well, I bet you can guess what my main color will be.

Secondly, (Why am I so big on transitional phrases? One time a teacher praised me effusively for my use of them, and ever since, I cannot NOT use them. I also love the semi-colon and parentheses, although most people find them annoying. Sorry.)

Where was I? Oh--Secondly, I have been tagged by Susanne at Living to Tell the Story. I’m supposed to respond three times to each prompt. If I knew how to link a song, I would play “Getting to Know You” right now because that’s the theme of this meme. (I can rhyme on a dime.) Actually, The Who’s “Who Are You?” lyrics may be the genesis of all memes:

Well, who are you?
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)
'Cause I really wanna know
(Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?)

Wow. That’s deep. Anyway, here goes.

Things that scare you:

-Knowing that there are people out there who, if given the chance, will hurt my children (like deranged campus stalkers or boys on spring break).
-Driving on the highway. This would also fall under a later category, “Things I can’t do.”
-Developing Alzheimer’s or ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease), esp. before I see my first grandchild. Wow. This first question is a downer.

People who make me laugh:

-Christopher Guest (Waiting for Guffman, A Mighty Wind, Spinal Tap).
-Whoever writes those greeting cards where there is a snapshot from the 1950s with a random caption.
-Erma Bombeck, Dave Barry, Harvey Korman, my brother Donnie.
-Dwight Schrute on "The Office" or any of that cast.

Things I hate the most:

-Violence, even fake violence in the movies.
-Feeling humiliated.
-When parents grieve the loss of a child. I will be so glad to see death swallowed up one day.

Things I don’t understand:

-How in the world our government allowed Terri Schiavo to be killed. I feel very strongly about this; don’t offer any excuses unless you seriously want to go toe-to-toe for hours. I’m not joking.
-Most math.
-Why Wal Mart lines can be short until you start pushing your squealing, starboard-lunging cart to the front, where you notice 50 other people are approaching the front at the same time. And then it’s Evelyn the cashier’s time for break.

Things I’m doing right now:

-Just took two puffs off of my Albuterol because I’m wheezing. (Probably just thinking about Terri Schiavo brought it on.) Jorge, the husband, just told our 17 year old, “Mom’s ‘huffing’ again.”
-Eating that waxy yellow and white candy corn that only tastes good this time of year.
-Denying my 4 lb Yorkshire Terrier waxy candy corn, and she looks like she may die of hurt and neglect and starvation.

Things I want to do before I die:

-Ice Skate. Never have.
-See all of my kids graduate, get married and have or adopt at least one child.
-Live for Jesus.

Things I can do:

-Well, I think I can write.
-Drive a stick shift.
-Usually rise to the occasion of doing something someone wants me to. Then I collapse later.

Ways to describe my personality:

-Loves to laugh.
-“Nurturing?!” (My 17 year old son just yelled that out like he’s on Family Feud)
-Compassionate.
-Nervous. (Bonus answer called out by Jorge, who also just asked if I’m filling out an E-Harmony Singles application.)

What I can’t do:

-Drive on the highway. White knuckles.
-Refrain from telling my teenagers to be careful when they walk out the door.
-Let my house get too dirty.

You should listen to:

-Your heart? JUST KIDDING. *See next set of answers
-Your parents’ wisdom.
-Good radio ministry in addition to your regular sermon.
-The Spinners sing, "I'll Be Around." They're so cool.
-My kid sing the songs from Annie. She had the lead. She’s amazing.


Don't be alarmed; this is just a wig.

You should NOT listen to:

-Your heart, in a lot of circumstances. Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” Ok, you can listen to your heart, but also listen to the Word, the Holy Spirit (which we often confuse with the heart), and people whom you know to be wise in the Lord. If any one of those voices challenges what your heart says, don’t listen to your heart. Despite what the 80's band "Roxette" says.
-Negative self-talk. If you wouldn’t say it to someone else, don’t say it to yourself. And if you do, don’t listen. You're just blowing off.
-Neil Diamond. Your ears will bleed.

I’d like to learn:

-More about designing web pages.
-More about ancient Israel.
-More about the Bible. I'm enrolled in an exhaustive course right now and loving it. We’re studying Romans.

Favorite Foods:

-Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens—er—no, that’s not it. I guess it’s:
-Cereal
-My mom’s roast beef and mashed potatoes and gravy.
-Holiday foods.
-Cashews. Nuts.

Beverage I drink regularly:
-“True Fact”: I usually don’t drink when I eat meals. Some people don’t know how I can do this. I probably should’ve listed it under “things I can do.”
-Milk, water. (Yawn.)
-One cuppa coffee in the a.m.

Shows I watched as a kid:

-Carol Burnett. Loved Harvey Korman and Tim Conway just as much.
-Bradys and Partridges of course, but lots of PBS, too.
-As a teen, after school I loved General Hospital (Luke and Laura heyday) and Merv Griffin.

Three people to tag:

Aaah, here’s where I’m hitting a snag. No one will do this, I’m sure. So if you’re reading this, “Go ahead, if you think you’re so big and bad,” as we also used to say on my block. "I double dare ya." I know I have some regular readers from the Perrysbug, OH, area (I’ve been there; it’s a beautiful town) Fort Wayne, and some cross-overs from Susanne and Big Mama, mainly. If this is you, please come out of the dark and reveal yourself. Tell me “Whooooo are you, who who, who who?”

PS: I’ve been on my 17 year-old son to sweep and dust his room today. Until just a little while ago, he had never heard of a meme, so I stopped typing to explain tagging and meming, etc. So just now he said, “Mom, I just tagged you to meme my room. Did it work?” Not hardly.