Trendy Nana

Thanks, Friends, for your welcome back and encouragement here. Navigating around the new editing system is a little frustrating because change is just difficult for me--change in job throws me, change in blog editing throws me, change in supermarket shelf arrangement REALLY honks me off. That last one is as shocking to me as someone rearranging my underwear drawer.

But I digress, already, in only my 3rd post back.

I'd like to get back to blogging about the really significant things in life, such as "Trendy Tops."

What? You say you aren't aware of the awesomeness of Trendy Tops? What's the matter with you. You act as if you didn't just lose your job and now spend all your time on FB, watching TV and cleaning spit up on aisle 2 aisle shoulder, side and thigh. (We have prolific spitters.)

Well, for you who are still living in total trendy oblivion, here is the commercial. You might want to speed ahead to around 1:00 so that you can see the most powerful punch in a sales presentation to grown women ever.



So my lovely blogging friend Lelia Chely wrote a status update about this product, and all of her friends and I had a good laugh at the silliness of it.

And then I promptly went on line and ordered them.

Let me just say that by the time I completed the order, it totaled about $35, and that was just a couple of days before I knew I would not have a big chunk of income I'm used to. So when I realized my job was vanishing, one of my first thoughts was, "Oh NO. I already ordered the Trendy Tops!"

Well, the TTs finally arrived.

I really like them. They're like a tube top for your butt. Tube bottoms? No, I think the marketers chose the better name.

How could I resist buying?  I'm trendy, and I do wear tops, even though I'm an unofficial Nana. Anyway, even Nanas have a little "oopsy" once in a while around the middle and backside, IF youknowhatImean.

So call me Trendy Nana. And here's the proof. No muffin, no buns. Just sheer middle aged trendy gymnastical modesty. I know you'll want to have your credit cards ready after this:




(Outtakes)

One More Hairy Detail ....

This is how it looked yesterday morning after the root color and style. I teased it a bit more, but I cannot make it be Tutorial Lady hair. I realized she probably has a few more hairs on her head than I do, plus my layers are shorter. Anyhoo ... this is my favorite top, a Maurice's purchase. Love the feminine stuff. OK, that's all about hair for four more weeks.

Hair's the Thing:

No, I'm not showing the real picture. I'm showing the cover-up.

But here's the story:

My daughter is getting married in June. I'm starting the hair maintenance on all three of the hairs on my head now.

I went for a trim yesterday. I left with a radical, random cut just outside my left eye that is the very same length as the bangs in front. I did not request this.

There are bigger problems to stew about in life; this is true.

But I am still trying to wrap my head around this, no pun intended.

What was she thinking? Parakeets have eyes on the sides of their heads; perhaps they need bangs on the sides of their heads. Last time I checked my three hairs, they were not feathers but indeed hair. And my eyes are on the front of my head.

Evidence: Parakeet, eyes on sides of head:



Me: Eyes on front of head.


So now I'm swooping the two hairs on the right side of my head over to the left in an attempt to cover up the carnage, which wants to curl up like the section of hair in this pic:



Picture the rest of the hair behind that swoop shoulder length. It's just so RANDOM.

OK, rant over. For now.

Tweet, tweet.

My Hair Won't Do the Bump. Maybe I Should Call Margaret.

I have no idea what this picture is about, but it fits this post so well I had to lead off with it. I did not add "Lid" to this pic. It's destiny, that's all.

When I was a little girl, around 1969, 1970 or so, every Friday my mom would take me to her hairdresser's who had a little shop added to her home just on the outskirts of our town.

Bored out of my mind for a solid hour, I paid intermittent attention to the exchanges between Margaret the hairdresser and my mother and little more attention to Margaret's pretty white dog in her back yard and a few "baby toys" in her shop.

I tried to entertain myself in a room void of anything remotely interesting except the comb and brush sanitizer machine which promised to magically clean those instruments by bathing them in an eerie light on a rotating shelf that reminded me of the rotisseries in the grocery store. Let me remind you that I had never seen a microwave yet.

Part of what Margaret did to my mom each week included a "back-combing" of the hair on the crown of my mom's head, an activity otherwise known as "teasing" or "ratting," two terms my mother did not prefer. She called it "backcombing," but I saw it as the most painful-looking beauty treatment I could imagine. After all, I don't think anyone even thought of waxing anything in 60s. Well, at least good Nazarene women didn't.

I remember Margaret throwing her whole upper body into backcombing while standing on the balls of her feet for extra force. Her upper arms would reverberate with every attack of the narrow toothed comb which had a long pointy end for lifting the teased hair.

The routine: Lift, tease, tease, tease ... gently comb the poof down ... lift, tease, tease, tease ...

Margaret: Paused to talk with comb slanted in the air, head cocked to one side the same angle as the comb.

Mom: Tuft of hair sticking straight up, patiently listening, watching Margaret in the mirror.

Then: Lift, tease, tease, tease ....

All through my teen years, even though Mom went through a couple of hairdressers, she kept the same basic style.

And I was mortified.

Remember the late 60s early 70s? Long, straight hair was in style, the flatter the better.

And here was my mom, poofed to the hilt. I could not understand why women made their hair do something so unnatural. How did that style ever become popular? "Old people" were so ... slow to change, so out of touch with anything current, so "dumb."

I AM "old people" now. I'm pretty sure my kids have those moments concerning me, too, and you know what? I don't care so much. Chalk that up to "old people don't care about anything important." But that's another post.

The point is, I'm old enough now that I have seen styles come and go for years. Biggest case in point: flared jeans versus skinny jeans. I wonder how many times I'll see these styles revolve in my lifetime?

Anyway, for a couple of years now, girls have been bringing back the teased crown look. I was surprised when I first saw it, wondered if they knew it was a "retro" look or thought someone at Style World Headquarters recently made it up.

Seriously? "Bumped" hair? What was next ... teenagers wearing girdles again?

Fast forward a few months to this week, and I confess that I have made my first-ever serious attempt at The Bump. A couple of my contemporaries wear it well. I'm feeling the retro vibe. I like both Samantha Stevens' AND Duffy's hair bumps.










But not Gladys Kravitz' Cotton Candy Bump. Gladys's bump definitely looks like the handiwork of Margaret.



And not 80s big hair. There is a big difference in big hair.







I bought a doohickey to stick under the hair to make it bump up, but alas, it did not work for me or my lovely daughters. I guess I'll have to stick with Margaret's tried and true technique, upper arms flailing and all.

Whaddya think? Mom's hair and my Go-Go boots, and my current attempt at The Bump. How about you, bloggers. Do you bump?

Shoes

*EDIT* It appears they were purchased at Kohls. Oh well. "JC" still stands for the same thing. I love their shoes!

Something has happened inside me: the fire in my soul which always burns [I may not be talking about it, but it's always smoldering] with love for shoes has been fed and bolstered somehow, some way, not sure what happened ... but I have been buying a "few" pairs for this summer -- "few" enough that I can't even remember where I bought these. I think they are J.C. Penney shoes. ("J.C." of course, standing for "joyously cute.")

They represent the color of this summer for me: hot pink. Shoes, toenails, dresses, lipstick ... the list goes on. I'm so ready for vacation in a tropical zone that I can hardly stand it. So until then, I put on the hot pink, and I'm almost there!

What are you favorite summer shoes, and YES, flip flops count--but what do they look like?

This Week's Flashback Fri ~ It's all About "The Look"

Says Linda at Mocha W/Lid: "The flashback this week surrounds our fashion memories. You may elaborate on your childhood Easter fashions and/or share about styles in general. What fashions were popular when you were growing up? (Any time from birth to high school graduation) What did you beg to wear? What style did you happily embrace that you now look back and think, "Ugh! Whatever possessed me to wear that?"

The only style I can remember really begging to wear that my mom hated was long, straight hair parted down the middle. She called it "The Peeled Onion, Cat-Sucked-My-Hair" look. That cat thing was a joke that went way back in her family which I could never quite figure out, but she always said it with such conviction! Oh, the pictures I could show you ... but they're at her house. Someday I'll post them here. After I'm dead. Suffice it to say, Mom was right. Again.

Here she is at about age 37 and me at 6 months, April 14, 1963, my first Easter.


Believe it or not, this outfit below is actually an Easter outfit. I'm about 13 or 14 here. I thought I was Miss Thang. And, as a 47-year-old now, let me say that that skirt was short enough to earn me that title in a not-so-good way. That's why I blocked it out with that white box in a prior post.Where was my mom's good judgment here?? Anyway, those shoes--They're kind of back in style. Oh, also, I have a pair of clogs that are very similar to ones I wore in high school. I never, ever thought I'd wear those again.



At 10, I also wore white wet-looking go-go boots. To a nice, conservative Holiness church. ?

If you have hung around this blog very long, you have seen this one before, the infamous "Red Jumper Debacle of 1997." Oh.my.wuuuuud. OK, I was not an adolescent here. That tiny girl there, my baby, is 17 now. But no fashion post on this blog would complete without "RJD of '97." Looks like I was an employee at Holiday World in Santa Claus, Indiana, a real place, where real people dress like this.



Finally, High School Hair, Circa 1981 & Facebook Profile Hair, 2010:




Pretty similar, huh? That's it for my flashback today. Please hop on over to Linda's to see all of those like me who have no shame. Well, maybe we have shame, but our desire to make you laugh is stronger than our shame.

Thanks, Linda!

Flashback Friday

What was Easter like when you were little? For example, did you receive a basket with toys and candy? Was the Easter Bunny part of your family's celebration? Did your family integrate both secular and spiritual aspects of the day? Did you dye Easter eggs. . . .and did your family eat them afterwards? Did you usually get a new outfit? (Post a picture if you have one!) Does any Easter stand out particularly? You might also share how your Easter today is similar or different to your childhood?

Easter was a wonderful holiday for me when I was little. I was reared in a home of faith, so going to church and remembering the meaning of Easter was important.

Now that that important stuff is out of the way, let me just say I also loved Easter for the "most wrong" of reasons: les bonbons.

My mom was not the sentimental type when I was young. She bought the dime store baskets woven of plastic straw wrapped in cellophane, which, looking back seems kind of disappointing considering all I did for my kids in the way personalizing each basket which they've had assigned to them since their first Easters.

But I am not my mom.

Not yet, anyway. But give me a couple of years because every day I'm becoming her more and more. Just ask my husband.

Anyway.

I have to admit I loved my ugly yearly baskets. So thank you, Mother.

Also, I have an affinity for pastels, so Easter decor and colors appeal to me, except for the Peeps. I cannot do Peeps.

Every Easter my mom would buy me a new church outfit, usually a dress with matching hat, gloves and purse. Oh, and anklets and white patent-leather type shoes that went "tip tap" when I walked across the kitchen linoleum.

That enchanting "tip tap" almost catapulted me into my tap dancing career, except dancing was against the law in my church of origin, so I didn't get far. In fact, I only got as far as the church sidewalk where the adults gathered after church for talk for 17 hours. With a little blonde heretic tap dancing around them.

The best Easter I ever had was the year aliens invaded my mother's body, and she somehow decided to give my brother and me two live chicks and a duckling, which we kept in a cardboard box for a couple of weeks. Heaven for a few weeks. I LOVE baby chickens.

So here are some pics from Easters past. I will probably do a post closer to Easter to comment on the Easter finery. For now, simply gaze upon the awkward family photos.






Thanks, Linda, at Mocha With Linda!

It's Scarf Day!

If you are here for the first time due to the scarf carnival, welcome.

I am Linda, or Lidna, depending on how fast I'm typing.

I love scarves. In fact, yesterday I wrote a post containing an ode to scarves to the tune of "Teach Your Children Well" with apologies to Crosby, Stills and Nash. (Did I mention that I'm old?) You should check it out; I think it could be a hit.

Most of the scarves pictured here were purchased at Target or TJ Maxx or even Walmart for $5.00. But the solid grape-colored one came from my daughter who brought it to me from London, and another is a purple scarf which I crocheted for myself in another life or when an alien possessed me. Donny Osmond liked purple, too, apparently even purple scarves, but he married someone else who probably didn't even care for purple very much. His loss.

Plaids, solids, brights, stripes, crocheted, silky or pastels, I love them all. When I die, I want my body to be wrapped in my scarves like an Egyptian princess, kind of like this but with more scarves:


I have about 18 scarves. I decided to hang them on one bedroom wall because they were crowding my closet and they're so colorful. So I bought two unfinished shelves at Hobby Lobby, painted them white and hung the scarves. Here are my pastels:



And here are my brighter scarves:



And now I shall model a couple of them.



The "Larry King Background" polka dots.











The leopard. With a smirk.












Christmas scarf. Dog scarf, sorta.








Finally, here is why I always wear a scarf--Look what happens when I don't. It makes me ugly and traumatizes my children:



If you'd like to see an excellent video about how to tie scarves, check out Melanie of Big Mama as she has provided a video with several scarf-tying alternatives.

Thanks to Rachel, hosting this carnival at Unexpected Blessings!

Tomorrow is Scarf Day, and I'm Excited: An Ode To Scarves

In Honor of Scarf Day (Apologies to Crosby, Stills and Nash)

"Teach Your Children Well"

You, who are on the road
Must have a code
That you can live by
And so you must buy some scarves
And try to get
Yourself a good buy.

Teach your children well
Their father's scarves
Were merely bad ties,
And lead
Them onto dreams
Of the ones they'll pick,
The ones they'll bow-tie.

Don't you ever tie them tight
If they choked them you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh
And know they need scarves.


See ya at the carnival!

How Rude! The Ugly Dress, and Old Spice

First of all, what kind of dog owner enters her dog in a dog contest in the local paper and forgets to vote for her? Oh yes, me.

This means that my sweet little doggie's picture was included on the page amongst scores of other dogs' pics with this caption under it:

"Zoe. 0 votes."

ZERO votes?! OH, the humiliation! No one voted for her, not even me! But don't worry too much about her feelings because when I came home that day, she had "poo'd" in the laundry room. I got your message, Zoe. In the words of Stephanie Tanner: "How rude!"

Do you remember back in June when I posted that I would have to wear this dress to She Speaks for unmentionable reasons, which I then proceeded to mention all over my blog?

Well, I just wanted to update you. So far, in July, August, and September?

I could be wearing this.


Not only because it's white, signifying the opposite of the red message above, (wink-wink) but also because the neck, or "body," if you will, is fire engine red, signifying, "hot flashes."

That's right, after a month-long visit from "Aunt Rhody," (?) she packed up, moved out and has not been heard from since. And no, I am not pregnant.

Also, I just needed to post the dress because it may be the ugliest one in the world, and I would like the honor of having the ugliest dress in the world on my blog. Crystal Carrington would kill for this dress. Or at least push Alexis into the pool for it.

Finally, have you seen these Old Spice commercials? We have played this over and over just to hear the little scream.

Friday Fill-In & "Mama Mia!" Fashion Inspired By ...

#85

1. The last meal I had at a restaurant was the chicken quesedilla appetizer at Applebees after seeing "Mama Mia!" And did you know, girlfriends, that after 9 pm, all appetizers are half-price? That means that including the tip, my meal cost $5, and my ticket to "Mama Mia!" (because of using the fabulous $5 Buck Club card) also cost me only $5? And did you know, then, it follows that scoring dinner and a movie for only $10 makes me want to put some overalls, burst out in song and jump off a pier like Meryl Streep?

2. Violence of any kind, even in movies, is something I intensely dislike. Oh, also: musicals.

3. The full moon makes me think of Cher in "Moonstruck" and Dean Martin singing "That's Amore."


4. "You stoled the clothes off our cement goose, so we're gonna bust up your ugly raccoons," is one of my favorite local expressions.

5. Sometimes it's best to leave cement geese naked.

6. "Mama Mia!" is the best movie I've seen so far this year! NOT! But I did enjoy it for weird reasons, which I'll probably post about this weekend.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to watching "Psych" and "Monk," tomorrow my plans include running and cleaning and Sunday, I want to get back to the heart of worship!

And Now, Fashion Inspired By ...


Here is my sassy new little scarf that I wore to see “Mama Mia!” As much as I loved wearing it, there was something uneasy in the back of my mind going on: “This particular pattern of polka dots is familiar. I know I’ve seen this before somewhere, but I can’t remember.”

And then it hit me.

If I were at a red carpet premiere and an ET reporter yelled to me, “Lidna! Lidna! Can you tell us who you're wearing tonight?!”

I’d have to call out over the crowd, “Target! Inspired by Larry King and his polka dot background!”