Friday, January 12, 2007

Lessons from LaToya or "When I Am Afraid, I Give My Power to the Cat"

On the last "Armed and Dangerous," filmed in my crime-ridden, dentally-challenged city, LaToya revealed that she is deathly afraid of ... cats.

This is a problem because when you leave your family's multi-million dollar compound, sometimes, you see cats.

Muncie has some cats. Actual words of LaToya: "The cats of Muncie are out to get me."

LaToya went to a therapist here in town to tame the raging fear within her. The therapist began with showing LaToya pictures of cats. LaToya barely maintained her composure. These weren't just any kitty cats; they were ... striped.

In the end, LaToya was an overcomer. As well as an over-actor. She was apparently cured of the phobia in one session. Her therapist is going to find herself being followed by disciples after this. She will have to draw away from the crowds in a little boat on the White River.

LaToya's final words of wisdom about the phobia: "When I'm afraid, I give my power to the cat." You just remember that. Repeat it. Again.

In another trying scene, she was called to a robbery of a parked car. They knocked on the door, and a scantily clad, beauty-challenged couple came to the door and started swearing when police informed them that someone had gotten into their car. They immediately ran out to their car and started rummaging (how appropriate) through it to see what was missing.

Oh, the drama: the first thing the owner yelled was, "They got my red lighter!"

A few feet down the street, they apprehended a suspect, a young man walking along minding his own business--when, wait--he had something sticking up in one of his pockets! LaToya, completely indignant, stopped and searched this kid and then gave him "what for" and confiscated, you guessed it: a red lighter!

Well, this really got LaToya TICKED OFF. She began to rant: "This is awful. Awful! Night after night after night, these kids are out here on the streets stealing. They are a menace to so-ci-e-tee." Oh, she was P.O.'d! Is there nowhere in the world where our red lighters are safe from no-good small-town riff-raff anymore?

Imagine what happened next, when the officers were writing up the report for the stolen lighter, and the polyester/nylon nightie-clad dentally challenged woman came walking up to the police car carrying--a cat.

Keep breathing, LaToya--do not give your power to the cats of Muncie.

By the way--the cast (not the production people or network) gave our city 3 fully decked-out H-3 Hummers. I heard our police chief on the radio say this morning, "I'm not sure what we're gonna do with 'em."

9 comments:

Big Mama said...

I would love to make some witty comment about the power of the cat, but this post is making me laugh so hard all I can say is WELL DONE!

Susanne said...

This really made me laugh. And shake my head at the lunacy of it all. I don't even know what else to say.

crickl's nest said...

Hilarious!!

Thanks for getting my day off with a smile!

Katie said...

hey, i sympathize w/ La Toya here. these Muncie cats really do take your power if you let them.

Linda said...

That last comment was from Mexicali Rose. She hates cats.

Susan said...

This is interesting for sure!!

Thanks for stopping by my blog today. The event that the youth were down here for was called, Celebrate Jesus. I'll have to ask my son the names and email you. There was actually an entire team from Muncie there.

Blessings!!

:-) Susan

Linda said...

OK--small world--my kids, esp. my daughter, have been involved with Celebrate Jesus for many years! We are the only Muncie team who goes down there. So, how was your son connected to CJ? Also, he may know the young lady on my staff who moved to the Orlando area to work in youth ministry down there. Her first name is Nikki. this is so interesting to me. Let me know what he says.

Melanie said...

Maybe they should use the Hummers to round up all those cats.

This is one of your funniest posts!

The Human Napkin said...

I love these posts! I wish they were running the show down here... I would SO watch it! LaToya's cat phobia is cracking me up!