Thursday, August 23, 2007

Thirteen Things I Did Quite Randomly This Week, In No Particular Order (* = references to the previous post about my tomato)

1. *I did indeed fix BLTs last night for my kids and me, and inadvertantly for my dog who attacked a clump of bacon that fell on the floor. Aside: I thought of a new slogan for bacon as I was being splattered: "Bacon Grease Splatter: The Injury that Keeps on Giving" Ouch.)

2. I posted here at 6:30 a.m. one morning this week. Really.

3. I spontaneously broke out into an improvised song about a *tomato I served on the BLTs to my teenagers, inspired by the spontaneous combustion-type of singing I witnessed in the two minutes I forced myself to watch High School Musical 2:

"OHHHHH, it's the best darned tomato in the laaaaaaand
grown right here in the humid, flat Midwesssssst
The best darn tomato, no, not a potato
But a lovely, sweet tomato
The size of the green thumb on my old haaaaaaaand

SECOND VERSE: "OHHHH it will surely stretch my laporoscopic gastric band ...."
KIDS: "MOM! Enough! Geesh!" "OHMYGOSH STOP!"

4. Went to see "Becoming Jane" with my oldest daughter. Liked it very much, except for the casting of Jane's one true love, who also played Mr. Tumnus in the Narnia film, which made it difficult for me to envision Jane Austen falling in love with a half-goat. At any point in the movie if he had carried a "parcel" I would have lost it out loud.

5. Bought my son high thread-count (soft) sheets for his dorm room because I love him, even though he will never notice that I bought the sheets or that I love him. Realized I am trying to "mother" him from afar while he is at college. (After thought: I am pathetic.)

6. Began participation in a new women's group that will meet once a month and discuss a book we've read during that month. Fun.

7. Tried once again this week to wear the shoes that ate my feet. I am now cut up again, just in the time for the Mary Kay foot party I'm going to tonight.

8. I played along with my daughter and Joey Fatone on "Singing Bee." Here are some of my all-time favorite lyrics, from Steve Miller's "Take the Money and Run," from the 70s---can you fill in the blanks?:

Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
You know he knows just exactly ____ ____ ____ ____
He aint gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his livin off of the ____ _____

Here's a hint: The missing words are some of the dumbest approximate rhymes and lurchingest rhythms ever created, including my tomato song above.

9. I remained calm (very random for me) when my son announced yesterday morning that he had rolled out of bed and broken his nose. FOR THE FOURTH TIME. Exaggerating, you say? No, he has the under-eye bruises and swollen bridge all. And I can vouch for the three other times. Why do I worry about what's going to happen in college when my boy can fall out of his safe bed at home and break his nose???

10. I was busted by my coffee bar barista who told me he read my post about McDonald's iced coffee.. Yikes. Don't forget that others are actually reading your blog, people. (Hi, Mike; you're the gosh-darn best!)

11. Wore a new shirt that I bought at Walmart yesterday. Wore it loud and proud. I received several compliments on my Walmart blouse. Way to go, Me.

12. On a late-night run to Walmart (You can see my stream-of-consciousness writing in effect here, something that you English teachers might want to point out to your students someday after I'm dead and my blog becomes a literary classic.) when my killer shoes, and I mean that literally, became unwearable, nay, unbearable, I slipped them off and went au naturale right there. In Walmart. I noticed my daughter playing with her phone and I said, "Oh stop checking for your boyfriend's call," and she replied, "Oh, no, Mother, that is not what I am doing at all. In fact, I have been taking your picture with my phone. And I asked myself, 'Who needs college friends when your mom goes barefoot in Walmart?'"

13. In a succession of 6 days, I bought my 5th (or maybe 6th?) McDonald's iced coffee. And one from Mike, who is the gosh-darn best.


Lazy Daisy said...

Girlfriend, you are a treasure. Kept me entertained and laughing through the whole 13. Your life is better than fiction. Here's to Mike and McDonald's ice coffee.

Norma said...

Great list. Nice sheets! I also had an item about coffee in my TT and keep a coffee blog (one of 11). Looking forward to your visit.

Cindy said...

Eeek, I'm sorry about your son!

I loved this post. I wandered over and read your Soles of a Killer post, as are so right, cheap and comofortable do not fit in the same sentence. *sighs*

Kim said...

Great list!! You have me laughin'...and laughter certainly does the soul well!!!!

Michael Schurmann said...

What a week! I'll have to try McDonald's iced coffee!

Ladytink_534 said...

Have you ever tried putting your bacon in the oven? It's so much easier than being splattered with the grease and I honestly can't taste the difference.

Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
He aint gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his livin off of the people's taxes.
~ I like that show too!

Roxanne said...

Yes, but "Take the Money and Run" is such a FUUUUUUNNNNNN song to sing when it's turned on REALLY, REALLY LOUDLY!!!!!

Theresa said...

Do you really have a laporoscopic gastric band .... tell me more! I'm thinking of getting one and haven't ever talked w/anyone who has one.

You are NOT pathetic for mothering your son from afar ... after all you ARE his mother! And that's what moms do! :o)

Have a great day!

Liquid said...

Great blog! :)