Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Brain Bouncies

Got a couple of fish swimming through my stream of consciousness today. Maybe you could throw them some ... worms?

Background: The She Speaks conference of Proverbs 31 Ministries is June 20-22, and I think I'd love to go in order to focus on the writing part. As I clicked around the site, I saw that last year's fee was $525.00, which includes the hotel. Registration includes all sessions, conference material, dinner on Friday, breakfast, lunch and dinner on Saturday and breakfast on Sunday.

If I fly, I could easily tack on another $200.00.

If my husband and I drove, it would be 10 hours.

Facts:

1. I HATE to fly, and get a sort of crazed, panicky buzz just thinking about airports and baggage and gates and nausea and LOST. This is a white-knuckle fear for me. Being in an airport by myself is probably my biggest fear. The 2nd biggest is being on the plane, and my 3rd is getting off the plane and my 4th is finding/getting my luggage and my 5th is getting a shuttle to the hotel. I could almost faint just writing that. You can imagine how normal airport scenes in normal movies become horror flicks to me.

2. I HATE to drive and have to drug myself up to keep from throwing up. This is actually my 2nd white-knuckle fear, because those other fears were sub-point fears of fear #1. Plus, there's a lot better chance of dying on the road than in the air, but both would have the same outcome. Please do not quote 2 Corinthians 5:6-8. I am not done being present in my body, even if it's sliding downhill daily.

3. For the same amount of money, I could have a laptop. Can you just see me with a laptop? I can. I can see me right now posting on my laptop in Starbucks. I can see that I am looking happy AND cool.

Questions:

1. If I could scrape up that money for a trip or a laptop, should I scrape it up and give it to orphans in Kazakhstan or my kids at college? (Aforementioned college kids are not eligible to answer this question.)

2. Would it please God for me to go to this, or am I being totally selfish?

3. Would Missy be totally disappointed to learn how dull I am in actual verbal conversation? Would she be surprised that I am probably her mom's age?

4. Although the Blogstar Trinity (Big Mama, BooMama, and Shannon of Rocks in My Dryer) are scheduled to speak, would I get to see/meet them? Or maybe just touch the hems of their stylish pants?

5. What if I don't hear God correctly about going or not going? Suppose I think he wants me to go, but it's just my hopeful imagination?

OK. What do you think about any/all of my excellent points?

20 comments:

Julie said...

Linda, I LOVE it!!! That is so hilarious....I had no idea of course when I was writing my post that you were talking about flying.

3 years ago I boarded my first flight EVER to Colorado to attend the Captivating retreat. And 4 days after that I boarded my 2nd flight to come home. I couldn't wait to get off that airplane. I don't get the "fun" out of flying.... I made it through the 3 hour flight but it was not one of those events that I want to rush out and do again.

My daughter is in England right now ...People keep saying something like "you'll just have to fly over there and visit her" and I am thinking...OVER AN OCEAN?????? Is there a bus I could catch?

So, I hear you.

And no, friend, you will not miss God's voice when He tells you whether to go or not. That is alot of money, but if He wants you to go you will have peace. If not, then you'd be better off not going.
You know all this, I'm sure, just wanted to remind you.

I wrote a piece on my blog (I am not trying to get you on my blog, BTW, just offering my picture) about when I was worried about missing God's voice. I think I titled it "When God Outruns You."
It is a picture that God gave me of hearing His voice.

By the way, as if this response weren't long enough.... : ) I just subscribed to your blog, so now I will have my dose of your beautiful take on life.

Have a blessed day,
Julie

Big Mama said...

I can't speak for the other members of the trinity, but if you end up going I would even let you borrow my pants.

Just something to think about.

Although I understand it's probably not as good as a laptop.

Carol said...

Hi Linda,
I, too, would really like to go to the "She Speaks" conference. My issue is the cost. I don't have issues with flying except that it adds to the cost, and I don't have issues with driving except that it would take 10 hours to drive it and I would probably have to do it alone, therefore, need to take 2 days each way extending the trip longer than I can be away.

So, I am praying that if God wants me to go, He will provide a way for me to pay for the conference and the flight (we may have frequent flyer miles, but I like to save those so college son can fly home).

I know these issues are similar, yet different from yours. Yours seems to be a matter of having peace about the whole thing from the money to the mode of travel. The other day I was fretting almost to the point of panic about some things going on in my life right now. I found time to be alone and quiet with God and asked Him to show me something from His word that would comfort my heart and He led me to Ephesians 3:14-21. For some reason that passage really gave me a peace that passes understanding. Maybe it will help you, too. (Sorry for being so longwinded).

Hugs, Carol

Carol said...

One more off topic question for you...
Do you know why your comment area won't let me sign in with a "nickname" and link to my wordpress blog the way other blogger blogs do? Just curious.
~Carol (I Throw Like A Girl)

Melanie said...

Don't go down the selfish road. Spending money on yourself does not always make it selfish. If He wants you to go, He will clearly provide a way and an answer. You will Know that you Know.
I wish I could go. As of now, I am going to be at a wedding in one state while decorating for VBS in another.

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

I thought you were older than my mom? She's 73. You're older, right?

I think God is definitely telling you to go and get a hotel room with me. And we can just watch lots of TV together cuz we will both be so disappointed by each other's off-blog personalities and obsessive compulsive bedtime routines.

Oh, wait - did you hear God just tell you to pay for my fee too? Cuz I am pretty sure I heard him whisper that..yup, just heard it again.

Teri said...

Ok, I can relate to you on many levels. In fact, I often talk myself out of trips. (My husband is way more adventurous...poor guy.) I would be contemplating the same things. Like, "Wow, that money would be well spent at a conference, but have been jonesing for that new area rug...hmmmm? WHAT to do???"

Honestly, I can not help you in this...although, the big girl that I am, I bought a ticket to an event in San Antonio and was actually checking on flights this week. So maybe if I actually GO to SA, (Instead of giving my ticket away because something came up.) I can tell you to just go girl...but until then, I hear the new Mac Book rocks.

Susanne said...

Wow the last time I was on a plane was like oh, 20 years ago. I don't remember fear of the plane but of the airports. I found them very confusing.

No words of sage advice except to say I'll pray that you make the right choice.

christina said...

I love your blog. It's chocked full of wise insight and I appreciate that.
If you HATE flying and HATE driving, your transportation options are minimal. Aside from a mule or tandem bike, getting there will be quite the battle.

A student of mine has a Mac Book and it is sleek. It caused me to covet.

Surely CD's and transcripts will be available from the seminar? You could listen to them on your Mac, while researching the monetary exchange rate in Khazakstan.

marina said...

Linda, we must be sisters I get the same way all of the above!!airports hate them makes me naused ,and I always worry when I finally meet someone will I have any verbal conversation in me ??
and I am always the oldest yes I am even older than you!!and then I sock eveyone when I say I have a 25year old and a 6 yr.old!! and,
and i just found out BigMaMa lives her in the same town I do !I email her and she was kind to answer back but maybe saw my picture and thought I was too old for her so she didn't invite me to meet her,LOL!! hugs,marina
PS.I will pray for you my sister.

samurai said...

Wow... no words of wisdom (or worms) here... :-)

I will pray that the Holy Spirit will clear up those cobwebs for you so you know exactly what you should do. :-)

ybiC

Darlene R. said...

I wish that I could help you out here, but I love to travel.

sorry!

annie's eyes said...

Man, bouncing around from one blog to follow another comment and back here, I'm tired of online travel. I'm thinking cyberspace preferred vehicle of transport. Go to "She Speaks!" Big Mama's offering to share her pants! ?? Oh, another journey. Throw fear to the wind beneath the plane's wings and if nothing else it will provide good blog fodder for weeks! love to you, annie

T said...

laptop is sounding pretty sweet. that's a toughie!

marina said...

Linda, annies right take her advise after all Big Mama is being nice to you and you may never come down to Texas, so go for it!!
marina
ps,if I know you it well make good blogging stuff for us to read!!LOL

PJ said...

I"ve been debating about that conference too. I love flying, love traveling, don't love spending that much money. Laptop sounds sweet! Ah! Why not the conference? For me, I'd need to get hoppin' on my book if I want a coherent piece to take to the the writin' sharin' whatever it's called session.

Speak Lord. Maybe we'll all try to be quiet long enough to listen!!

Fran said...

I'd start putting aside every extra dollar and you never know....you might get both! Do this for yourself momma. Its ok. We all want to see you do this for yourself! :)

Ann said...

It would be so wonderful to meet fellow bloggers. Fly! I PROMISE you there is no island with a strong magnetic force that will bring the plane down like in Lost. And you can ask pretty much anyone in a uniform wandering around the airport for help and they will help you if you can't find baggage claim, etc. The only thing you REALLY need to remember is to wear SOCKS. It's so icky standing barefoot in the airport while going through security.

It will be such an awesome adventure! Go for it! /hi5 :)

Robin said...

I totally understand - I have the same fear of flying. Ree at Pioneer Woman is too - she just posted about it and has about 800 million comments on how to overcome it! Maybe something there could help you. I've always said I would never let my fear of flying cause me to miss out on what life has to offer me. But as time goes on, I'm thinking, I don't mind missing out on some things! I truly feel your pain.

Heth said...

Blogstar Trinity....That's awesome.