Thursday, January 24, 2008

"I Sing the Trouser Jean Electric" --A Song of Celebration, A Song of Grief

First of all, can I just say to whoever the man or woman was who positioned a Starbucks basically next to my daughter's dance studio: You are an awesome genius.

Here is the story of my pants.

This looks like a long post, but it's mostly pictures.

If you are brand new to this blog, you probably don't know that I am Clinton Kelly's best friend. I am.

In fact, I took this picture one time when we were just hanging out at Macy's in Indy. Yeah. It was like that.


I have learned a lot from Clinton and Stacy, but perhaps the greatest lesson of all was the introduction to

The Trouser Jean

Before I met trouser jeans, life was sort of like this:

After I discovered trouser jeans, life was more like this:

Definition: Trouser jeans are usually a darker wash, making them a little less casual than most denim. They often have wider hems. Stitching is usually the same color as the denim. They sit low on the waist or at a natural waist, not extremely low as has been popular for the last few years. Neither is the waist extremely high as in "mom jeans." Perfect jeans have flat fronts because most don't need bulging pockets anywhere. The backs may differ, but beware too much flappage going on on the rear because that maximizes the gluteous maximus. One way to tell if they're trouser jeans is to look at the profile while they're on the hanger. They should be shaped fairly straight all the way down. If the profile curves in a lot in the knee area and then curves back out, it's a deal breaker. You want the real deal.

Why? Because they're flattering and dressy and everything wonderful all at the same time.

Still confused? Be confused no more. Behold The J Crew Trouser Jean and then read my sad story below:

Sigh. I Sing the Trouser Jean Electric.

Back to my story. So I found a trouser jean that I loved.

Loved, Loved, Loved.

Everywhere I wore them, people complimented them. Even store mannequins gasped when I walked by.

Because I am tall, I have been careful with them. Tall-ish, about 5'8". Not overly tall. But most average length jeans shrink up too short the first time I wash them. I can't tell you how many times I've been frustrated by the incredible shrinking jeans.

I always got my "TJ's" (trouser jeans) right out of the washer and hung them straight up to dry.

Until this week.

I am to blame; I accidentally tossed them into the dryer.

My husband pulled them out and nonchalantly said, "Hey, aren't these "THE" jeans? The ones we're never supposed to throw into the dryer?"

To be continued. Once I have regained some of my strength and desire to live.


Merrie said...

I have wonderful news.... you NOw have new TJ capris!!!! And - you will only have to wait a month, or three to wear them - UNLESS you wear them with knee high boots - which is what people around here do on a regular basis. Not that it would be stylish or the same... just your choice now.
soooooo sorry!

Mommy, the Human Napkin said...

Oh, Linda! As the owner of exactly one pair of good jeans, I feel your pain. So I'll share a story of my own...

Once, when we were living with my father-in-law, I accidentally left the house right after I put an entire load of brand new maternity clothes in to wash, intending to hang them when I got back, but we were gone longer than the 30 minutes we planned, so when we got home, I found an entire load of maternity clothes (and bras!!) in the dryer on high heat, and the cycle was almost finished! They were all so shrunken that I was never able to wear them again. I may have wept a little.

Nise' said...

Oh I grieve with you! My daughter, bless her heart, came home to do her laundry and shoved everything that was in the washer in the dryer without even looking (or asking) and *gasp* my TJs were in there...yep shrunk too short. I think I am over it. That reminds me to buy another pair...

Sarah said...

I am so sorry! I love my TJ's. They are the only type of jeans that I purchase now.

Oh, and thank you for the sweet comments on my blog the other day. They made my day!

marina said...

sniff,sinff I feel your pain.
come on over to my blog and get your award and then pass it out if you would like too.marina

Debbie said...

Being short I always count on the jeans shrinking. However, I can feel your pain since my favorite black wool sweater ended up in the dryer somehow. It shrunk in perfect proportion so I donated it. I'm sure there is a first grader somewhere who is enjoying it as much as I did!!

Christine said...

None of my pants (jeans, khakis or otherwise) see the inside of the dryer for the very same reason, as I am 5'7" but all leg, so I understand your pain. I'll have to try out these TJ's, they sound spectacular!

Melanie said...

OH NO! I feel your pain.

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

Oh, I'm so sorry!!

I have the opposite problem...I am SHORT so I have to find high enough pumps to wear with them, and I still step on the hem half the time. But, Banana Republic had a ton of TJs last week on sale sale sale. Maybe you could find more there.


Ann said...

Oh no! I hope you can get new ones! I'm a shorty, I always have to get pants hemmed.

Lelia Chealey said...

That is too funny, well, not if I were you in your flood ready jeans! :) Such a bummer.
Thanks so much for your sweet comments on my blog~very encouraging. :)
So did you decide yet? Laptop or do I need to save you a seat at She Speaks?
Have a blessed weekend!

Julie said...

I was thinking that now you have some "pedal pushers". Do you remember what that is????

I just think you are too funny! I love your humor.
I would have laughed out loud but I was in the library so I had to laugh in a whisper!

I don't know what TJ's are...but now I have been enlightened. I'm going to have to check them out.
But you can't put them in the dryer????

Do they make you look skinnier?????

Julie said...

I posted to your blog on the old account. So you can ignore the previous one.

Yes, I think you are hip.

And just to prove it I think you should wear your TJ's as pedal pushers. Do you remember what those are?


Lelia Chealey said...

Lol~Yes! God gave me a vision of you driving to Nebraska, us sitting on my new "from God sectional" so you can rest, then road tripping to North Carolina for She Speaks!! Better sign up soon! :) I hope it works out financially for me to go. With the new grandbaby on the way, I just don't know how it's all going to work out. But hey, if God can bless me with a sectional, who knows what He has in mind. :) MAYBE you'll get both a laptop and a conference..."He can do it!"

Hey it's Amy Shipp said...

Oh my gosh! I am so sad about your trouser jeans. Are they really too short? is there any hema t all to let out? I am going to try and find me a pair. Thanks for the tip! I only dry on delicate, everything, just in case!

T said...

oh no. Surely this will forever ruin your self esteem.

I HATE it when that happens! Dryers should just AUTOMATICALLY KNOW when we put things in them they aren't supposed to have.

BeverlyDru said...

OK, fess up. What brand of jeans will make my butt look smaller?? I will buy them. Tell me where and and I am IN! Not too low, not too high? Long enough for my 5"7" height! Come on, spill the details. Better yet give away a pair in a contest. LOL.

PJ said...

I hate when that happens!! And I love the way you tell it!

Chris said...

Oh Linda! I feel your pain! Aggghhh! I mean, how can you possibly remember every single-dingle time that the jeans must be separated from the rest of the laundry that you throw quickly into the dryer? There really should be do-overs in laundry. Good luck on recovering from this awful blow.

annie's eyes said...

From a girl who spent most of her life wearing boys jeans because I'm 5'9", I can so relate--short pants were our nightmare all through school and it actually took me a good year before I could warm up to the concept of capris! I'm so sorry...
hugs, annie
WHERE do you get those perfect pictures? You not only are gifted to write but to publish or be an layout designer for a magazine!

Jodie said...

I love it - when you've regained your strength and desire to live! But oh, I can relate to that feeling. I have, on average, ONE good pair of jeans at a time, and this one time, my favorit pair ripped, well, really they were just dry-rotted from being over washed and dried - they ripped under the back pocket exposing my cheek. I was devestated, because that was the end of my love affair with those wonderful jeans.
And trouser jeans, I want a pair so badly! They're flattering on everyone!! I can't wait to own a pair, and I'll be sure to hang them to dry. :)