Tuesday, April 01, 2008
American Idol Goes Country and Gets Some Religion, Too
It was Dolly Parton night, but Jesus got a few props, too, in her songs. Just thought that was interesting.
Extraneous editorial comments: In her silver outfit, Dolly looked like "Space Age Barbie Dolly."
And Ryan--(my friend Leslie always says this, and I agree) Ryan is the perfect successor to Dick Clark. He is awesome. Even in a skinny tie like my brothers wore in the 60s.
Brooke: "Jolene." Is that one of the saddest, most pathetic songs ever? You just wanna say, "Persona of these lyrics, get some self-respect and kick him on over to Jolene. Let Jolene pick up his dirty laundry for a few years." I cracked up when Brooke said Dolly was tiny but HUGE. A-hem. Plus, my TiVo stalled on her facial expression when she said "huge," and the freeze frame expression was hilarious.
Brooke was this week's wearer of the season 6 requisite uber high-waisted pants.
Something I've been noticing with Brooke lately that I don't care for is the bantering she does while the judges are critiquing her, like complimenting Paula's hair. I just don't think it's cute. Sorry. (Why do those last two phrases make me feel like Simon?)
David Cook: HAIR! BETTER! TREMENDOUSLY! BETTER!
I know he joked about having a large cranium as a baby, but that hairdon't he has had all season screamed "large cranium comb over!" So he looked great and sounded great, but really, can he ever top "Billie Jean?"
I had to laugh at "Little Sparrow" because it reminded me of the time when my oldest daughter was little and the sitcom "Webster" was on with Emmanuel Lewis in the title role. Once when she was referring to the show, she couldn't remember his name, so she called him, "L'il Spider." (Get it? WEBster - Spider?) Oh, my kid-said-the-darnedest thing memory just slayed me. Or slew me, if you're stickler for King James.
Ramiele: Love that name, but I'd probably shorten it to "Rami." Her song was "Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?" All I could think of (because I was in fear of being flashed due to her short skirt and particular broad stance) was, "Do You Ever Cross Your Legs? (Please!)" She was cute, but that's all. And she forced Simon to pull out the old "Cruise Ship" smack-down.
Jason: I was afraid Dolly might break off one of his dreds. She made me laugh when she said he was "funky lookin'." Doesn't he remind you of a young Travolta somehow? I liked his performance. And he said, "Jesus." [Insert smiley.]
Carly: "Here You Come Again" ... with those tattoos like billboards. I actually agreed with Simon's question about who is dressing this girl. It ain't my close personal friend Clinton Kelly, that's for sure. She sounded great, I thought.
Little David: I cracked up again when Dolly referred to his "little emotion." You know she thought he was precious. He hit some amazing high notes. (Are you impressed with my dazzling music critiquing skills?)
Kristy Lee Country: Has this girl been lucky for the last two weeks or what?! I just don't even know what to say. She will get many callers for singing about her many colors. But not me.
Syesha: She's never been my favorite, but I really liked her performance tonight. I loved the two approaches to this song, and no, it wasn't exactly Whitney, but we don't need two Whitneys in this world (heaven help us), although right now I think there's about half a Whitney left in the world, but that's another story.
Michael: It's hard for me to be objective about this performance because I hated the song so much. But I'll take Simon's word on it, that it was Michael's best yet.
And those are my expert re-cap opinions that I get paid thousands of dollars for (or "Mollies," as they are called) in Moldavia where I report them weekly on the Moldavian TV show, "Moldavia Tonight," the equivalent of "Entertainment Tonight," except you're getting them for free because you're my bloggin' homies. You're welcome.
And now, in the irritating words of Bill O'Reilly: "What say you?"