Sunday, May 25, 2008

I'm Starting A New Sidebar Category: "I Know You Think I Make This Stuff Up"

I have begun several posts by saying, "I know you think I make this stuff up ..." because usually the story that follows sounds too stupid to be true. Not so. My life is replete with blog fodder. I have no need to spin bizarre embarrassing tales just for your entertainment. In fact, I actually have to choose which stupidities I will reveal and which ones I won't.

Today's tale is one that definitely falls under the "I Know You Think I Make This Stuff Up" category.

This afternoon, I decided to take a quick nap before heading out for an evening of visiting graduation open houses and going to our cell group. Before I sleep, even for a nap, I must take out my disposable contact lenses. Since I don't usually keep my lenses overnight, I do not have the traditional little holder with the L and R wells for storage. Therefore, whenever I plan to put my disposables back in, I temporarily put them in a Dixie Cup of saline.

When I woke, I realized it was time to go to the graduation open houses, so I brushed my teeth and started to put in my lenses but realized they were gone. Because I swallowed my contacts. Which were in the Dixie Cup that I used to rinse my mouth.

Thus I have entered yet another installment into the new sidebar category, "I Know You Think I Make This Stuff Up."

That is all.

34 comments:

Darlene R. said...

hahahaha! I have to say that even though I do sometimes put my contacts in a Dixie Cup, I have never swallowed them. Oh Linda, you crack me up!

BTW, did they taste like chicken? Everything taste like chicken you know!

R.L.Scovens said...

This story actually made me laugh out loud!!! Are you kidding?! You actually swallowed them?!LOL

That is too funny!

Carol said...

I wish I had some contact lenses that I could swallow so that I would have something to write about. My life has been not quite boring, but not too blog-worthy lately. Thanks for sharing! ~Carol

MoodyBlue said...

It gives all new meaning to "my eyes are bigger than my stomach".

Linda, you crack me up!

Marina said...

I am laughing so hard I don't even know what too say !! but I belive you Linda I know you are not making these up!!LOL!!
may God bless you,marina

Susanne said...

ROFL! Chalk it up to extra fiber for the day?! LOL.

skoots1mom said...

i was feeling kinda low and thought to check the blogs one more time....and there it was!
You crack me up...or better said down here in the South, "WHAT A HOOT!"
I needed that...so sorry for your loss, though. At least they're soft...this made me remember when my second grader swallowed a quarter and it had to be surgically removed before it blocked her windpipe...boy, that was a long afternoon. We were very thankful they retrieved it and we didn't have to "wait" for it!
Praying this causes you no discomfort, other than having to get another pair.
:)

Barbara H. said...

Oh, no! What happens now? Do you get new ones or...wait for them to...process? This is one of those, "It's not really funny...but it is" occurences.

Queen B said...

HA!!!! That is hysterical. You might want to take a little Metamucil...

Monica said...

So funny!!! I think we must wear the same kind of contacts.

I think mine went to have breakfast with my brain this morning! I lost it and had to replace with another.

Beverly Lewis said...

I am on vacation- sitting on the balcony with a group of family while catching up on blog reading. I started laughing HARD when I read this post and had to attempt to explain myself. Only the other blogger in the group thinks I am somewhat sane. ; )

PJ said...

So, will you be watching for their exit???? ROTFL

Jen said...

This one made me laugh -- I'm still laughing! You crack me up!

annie's eyes said...

Okay, first you win most enticing blog post title, then you do not disappoint. I'll resist a comment like Hope everything comes out all right, but then I guess I didn't resist at all. Smiling again! Life is rich with blog fodder! Love, Annette

Grace said...

One morning I woke up and couldn't believe it! I'd been healed! My sight was restored...oops - no, just fell asleep with the lenses in and now my eyes are shot for the day...
Grins!

Erin said...

hee, hee, hee, hee...ha, ha, ha!!! Oh, that was funny! Ah, love it. I don't even know what to say because it was perfect just the way it is.

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Absolutely hysterical. Aren't you glad you have such an abundance of excellent blog material?

Roxanne said...

I am speechless. . .because I could have done this.

Kelley said...

And that is why I splurged on Lasik! This really is too funny, and too "real life".

By the way, I almost didn't recognize you, it was just your hands on a keyboard in my comments column. Very cool idea for a profile picture.

Ang baylis said...

This does win the prize! You are absolutely hilarious! Ummm, I have like a million of those L/R containers and I'd be honored to send you one or two! I came over here with a bit of a headache, now I'm laughing hysterically and I feel a lot better!
Thanks!
Angie xoxo

sarah said...

That's great. This is why I love the blogging world. Other people do crazy things too and we all get to laugh together!

Have a great day!

Mocha with Linda said...

That one made me gasp! Didn't the saline taste a little weird?! Oh that is too too funny!!

Debbie said...

So you can see yourself from the inside????

Hillarious - mostly because I so could have done this.

Laurel Wreath said...

This is hysterical, thanks for making me laugh with you today!

Kathleen Marie said...

That is cute! Just one, (like you I have many) embarrassing moment was years ago when I was talking to a group of people at a conference and realized my slip had fallen to the floor. It just fell off and I about died of embarrassment.

Amy said...

Do contacts take 7 years to digest like gum does?
Thanks for sharing your story!

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

Good to know your innards now have 20/20 vision.

Lelia Chealey said...

OH my goodness...as a former contact wearer this cracked me up!! Thanks Linda for the laugh or should I say Lidna! Maybe that's why you spell it like that at times, you drink your eyewear!

Ann said...

I knew that was coming because I would totally do that!! HAHAHAHAHA!

/hi5 lidna!

bensrib said...

I'm new here - that was hilarious. Thanks for not being too proud to share.

Susan said...

Oh my goodness, I am SO GLAD I scrolled down for this one! It sounds like something I would do, except I don't wear contacts, so I'd be swallowing someone ELSE'S! Ewwww!

Yeah, some stuff you just can't make up.

Hugs,

Susan

Jodie said...

OH
MY
WORD!

I don't even know what to say about that. I'd like to say something clever, like Missy, but really, I got nothin'. I'm just all aghast.

And just so I got this right, you swallowed your contacts. AND the saline solution. Right??

Crazy lady.

Lynn said...

You're killin' me with this stuff.. What a hoot!

Widney Woman said...

I really did LOL on that one. I understand how logically that happened. You couldn't SEE your contacts in the cup without wearing your contacts. It's similar to when you need your glasses to find your glasses.