Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Oh, Life. You Slay Me

Here is how I'm moving through life today.

1. I woke up to learn that my computer has left us in spirit. It was fine last night at 11:00, but by 6:00 am, it was deader than a doornail. And doornails are some of the deadest things there are. Apparently. (Note to self: What is a doornail. Google this tomorrow at work.)

2. In a shocked stupor over the departed computer, I spastically swigged down my last sips of coffee this morning and spilled it all down the front of me.

3. On my way to work, my van was possessed by the Spirit of "Technology Hates Linda" and decided to randomly turn on its wipers intermittently all the way to work.

4. I was sitting in staff meeting and had a little itch on my forearm. While my staff was discussing really important spiritual stuff like whether we should use frozen turkeys or frozen Cornish hens for turkey bowling this Sunday, I popped a rivet off my jacket sleeve that went about 20 feet through the air. This beats the Altoid that fell down my "decolletage."

5. Later, someone turned in a lost and found item which at first glance looked like my daughter's Ipod, having a circular button on the front. So I said to our two high school interns, "Can you guys try to figure out who this belongs to because I'm busy and I don't know much about those things, anyway." To which they replied with loud, LOUD high school intern laughter at the old lady behind the desk who had actually mistaken a phone with "Verizon" on the front for an Ipod. Well now. I'm so glad that when I've had enough harassment from my own biological teenagers, I can look forward to even more abuse from the office teenagers!

6. My hearing. It is betraying me. I was listening to a commercial about diabetes (because I don't have diabetes, nor does anyone I even know have diabetes, but still, I listen--makes complete sense) when I could've sworn the announcer guy said, "Tattoo diabetes" and "Tai Kwan diabetes." I wondered what in the world these new strains of diabetes were, when I realized he was saying, "Type One [Tai Kwan]" and "Type Two [Tattoo]."

7. All I really want to do is bake gingerbread. I'm so into this house I'm creating, you guys! I'm obsessed with it. So far, I've spent a total of 4 1/2 hours on it, and I've only baked the roof, the front and back. No side walls yet. I'm totally into the Food Network Holiday Challenge Shows, and I think in my head I'm actually an off-camera participant.

Such is my life. On a borrowed laptop, in a post without pictures, in a room with a dead computer over there and renegade wipers waiting for me in the garage tomorrow morning.

So I can't wait to see what tomorrow holds. But for now, I'm going to bed, while visions of gingerbread dance in my head.

38 comments:

Debbie said...

What have you been having in your coffee lately Linda? I do feel for you with the computer and car. I hate it when machines think they are smarter than me - even when they are.

Renna said...

Don't you wish days like this came with warning labels?

Here's hoping tomorrow will be dull in it's lack of complications!

Patrice said...

I so hate that about your computer. We have two, one just bit the big one, and now this one is slowly making it's decent into the dead zone! Ughhhhh, I will go insane without my computer!!

Ballerina Girl said...

as long as the dancing gingerbread stay in your head...I think you will be ok!
Thanks for the continual fun and laughter you bring !
BG

Tammy said...

So sorry for you loss....coincidentally, this not the first computer I have written condolences for this week. Hmmm, me thinks there might be some sort of left wing computer conspiracy in the new political air??

YOU MAKE YOUR OWN GINGERBREAD HOUSES?
sorry to yell- but with your hearing on the brink I felt the need to ask that LOUDLY! Because I am 1)impressed and 2) so interested in the recipe. I could be your gingerbread house challenge partner. I think.

Here's to a better day tomorrow!

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

Not lovin' your day for you. Hope tomorrow's better. But, it all did make for a very humorous post.

Melissa the Careful Wisher said...

You need to ask Santa for a new computer!

Mocha with Linda said...

Watch your step - the foot bones will be the next to go!

And I think the problem is that impish gingerbread guy in your new button. He looks like he's up to no good.

Cathy Davis said...

HA HA HA HA HA

Sorry to laugh but I can really appreciate the car being possessed and doing its own thing, and well, I can appreciate the rest of it as well.

I hope you've made some progress on the gingerbread house!

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

Hi Lid! I'm so loving reading all your crazy antics! I know it must be hard on you...but what would I do without them?? :-)

Feel better now? I'm just trying to help a girl out. Don't mention it...what are friends for? ;-)

Susanne said...

My deepest sympathies on the expiration of your computer. May a new one quickly take it's place.

Ha, I've got one of them phones with the dial on the front. I can totally see why you thought it was an Ipod.

But your possessed windshield wipers are a little scarey!

Melanie said...

You CRACK me up!
Are you seriously making a gingerbread cake? I made Paula Deen's gingerbread trifle for Thanksgiving 2 years ago. I forgot I don't like the flavor of gingerbread.
But I support you in your gingerbread house making.

RosyRose said...

So sorry dear Linda. I hate dead doornails!

anna said...

oh linda...i have the same problem about the hearing. i do it all the time. and of course now my mind goes blank so i can't give you a great/funny/laugh out loud example. but here's one between my husband and i.
i asked my husband to pass me a malted milk ball. he thought i said a melted moth ball.
yummy.
i tried to post a link to my blog, but i'm new to this, and don't know how to. the address is www.theluxuriouslifeofanna.blogspot.com
have a great night!

Esthermay said...

I have pity for you. Especially the IPod debacle/humiliation/clarification. So sorry. I feel for ya’ old lady, friend! The other day I tried to dim my bright lights with my left foot on the floor of the car. If that doesn’t date ya’ – well, the hair in your nose will.

This is how your kind of day would come down in my house.

ME: Everything you said above ↑

Husband/Pastor/Greek-Hebrew Geek: Maybe the Spirit of God is speaking to you. ﻉﺂתּסּﭒﬠשׂכּהּﭳﯖ

Smelling Coffee said...

Sorry about the day's happenings - Hope Wednesday is a total joy for you! ;-)

Pam from alertandorientedx4 said...

I'm so sorry about your day...hoping tomorrow is better for you. In the middle of our staff mtg tonight (yep--every Tues evening 7-10 p.m. YUCK!) I had forgotten to silence my phone. I was praying aloud when my son sent me a text msg WITH SOUND from the Scream-O concert he was attending. It was maniacal laughter and then a shout "You've got a TEXT!!!" It was a teeny bit distracting from my prayer, let me tell you. I think this beats the Altoid or the bedazzled rivet. Hope your 'puter troubles are better...are you going to try to repair it, or just get another?

Leebird said...

My 2008 has been like that. Tonight, my son, Garrett, said, "Boy, this year has flown by." I didn't even pause before saying, "GOOD!"

Becky said...

I have as of yet to catch a holiday food network challenge... I'm jealous. Can't wait to see a pic of your ginger bread house. Sorry about your computer... hope you get it back up soon.

Serendipity said...

I've been down the same road with my computer too. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Barb said...

If my computer died, I'm sure I'd have several days like this before I recovered.

Beverlydru said...

I could sing from Annie for you... Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow... There, I know you feel better already. My sympathies to your departed computer. Hopefully there are organs that can be donated to the new one and all is not lost.

PS I love the aluminum Christmas tree in the photo of you and Donnie. They were the Bomb-diggity.

Smilingsal said...

I have Type two diabetes, so now you know someone with it. Type one is juvenile onset and is much more serious. Type two is adult onset and is because we did not eat the way we should have, and now we pay the price!

Diane said...

I'm mourning the loss... My deepest sympathies are with you. Doornails are indeed dead...never to rise again.

Your days sound as interesting as mine lately. LOL

Hugs,
Diane

Greg C said...

Lay off the caffeen. I tell you, too much is not good for you. :) Funny post. I needed that.

Gwendolyn said...

Is it okay that I'm giggling hysterically at you over here? Well, not about the computer. The lack of a computer is VERY SERIOUS. I would be in mourning if I were you. Even gingerbread would not make me happy.

Angela said...

Tai Kwan diabetes is deadly.

Missy said...

You poor poor soul! At least you have your coffee...imagine where you would be if you didn't...

Melissa said...

You are hilarious. Your great sense of humor comes across even on a borrowed computer so you've got that goin' for you!
Hope today has been better.

Debbie said...

Okay, I feel a little guilty laughing at your bad day but the way you put it, I just can't help it.

Maybe your computer just quit because it felt threatened by the ever growing house of ginger!

Laurie Ann said...

You cracka me up! Too funny! Bless your heart...at least you're taking it all in stride. It's good to know that the Spirit of Technology Who Hates Me is not something I suffer through alone. I did three reboots while I was editing a picture for today's post last night and felt so alone.....LOL.

big hair envy said...

I'm so technologically challenged that my daughter no longer encourages me to "just try it, Mom." She KNOWS that I won't be able to figure it out!!!

Good luck with the gingerbread house. Last year I bought one of the kits. The three of us had a BLAST putting that thing together!!! I plan to pick up another one in a couple of weeks. It's a shame that we don't even like gingerbread:(

Mel said...

wow i might have had to turn the van around intermittant wipers and all and go back home to bed or to bake gingerbread!!!!

Miscellaneous From Missy said...

I totally lost it when I read about your intermittent wipers. Laughed out loud. Now, why is that so funny to me? I'm still giggling.

Joanna said...

You have such a good outlook. I would be hiding under the blankets refusing to come out and play.

Fearless Mom said...

So what exactly is a doornail?

Tim and Vicky said...

God must like you more than me . . . you seem to be having all the fun days. *sigh* Well, it's only Wednesday. I might have time to catch up.

Jules from "The Roost" said...

That was a tuff day but very funny to read. Hope tomorrow is better for you! :)