Monday, January 12, 2009

The Post in Which I Found Out that I am the Only Person on Earth with a Hideous Coffee Mug Due to Fahrenheit 451 Mug Purges

*EDIT* Yes, the contest is still on, baby.

Well. I thought it was a good idea. You know, self-deprecating humor, keepin' it real' admissions, community-building FUN, until out of 23 comments, exactly three people said, "OK! I'll admit I have a not-so-perfect life and a not-so-perfect coffee mug! Sure, I'll play!" And 3 out of 23 is only 13.043478260869565%. The rest of you said, and I almost quote:

"Lid, We (because you always use the "royal we" when you're all hoity-toity like this, don't you. See how well I know you?!) We simply cannot play because we simply do not own an unattractive coffee mug. Why, we simply don't! No, no, no! Why, we only own truly beautiful mugs that befit us and are consecrated to our royal coffee! Our mugs, like us, are be-jeweled, unchipped, unpainted on by Hobby Lobby pens, unblemished by water deposits. Your sickening mug sickens us, and we never want you to write about your sickening mugs again!" And you said "again" in a way that rhymes with "a pain" because you also use your British accent when you get all high and mighty, don't you.

And those were the nice replies.

Check this one out from Teri at Facedown:

Listen missy. (That sounds really scary right?) I happen to ken lee TEA...NOT coffee. I like coffee, but coffee does not like me, so I drink coffee's little brother, TEA. BUT, I happen to enjoy a big ol' mug of tea, not a little dainty tea cup full. (Read, thimble.)

So, since I am ineligible for your contest, because I am going to choose the higher road and not lie about a ken lee for coffee..I will just tell you that really, it is discrimination. :)

I don't really have a hideous mug anyway. :(

Teri, tell me how you really feel about this contest because you weren't quite clear enough. But I'm sensing that you're slightly bitter, not unlike every tea I've ever sipped. Ba-da-bing.

And what is all this "De-Junking" going on in America and Canada?

Seriously, people, don't you have anything better to do than throw away all of your coffee mugs? Has there been some Fahrenheit 451 mug burning that I'm not aware of? Do you just kick your mugs to the curb on a daily basis--because you don't have ONE in your possession? Not ONE???

Right. You probably don't have any stray hairs left in your hairbrushes or dust in your refrigerator vents, do you. Well, neither do I. Never have. Not once. AND I floss daily, to boot. So looks like we're all equal, after all, and some of us may be more equal than others, when it comes to flossing. Just sayin'.

And please note: that's two literary references in one post and one big honkin' math equation, so, even people with crusty mugs can have great minds, great personalities and cute dogs, apparently. And now I'm going to go call my Mommy for comfort, knowing full well that she will probably say, "Linda Ann. I can't believe you would show a picture of such an ugly mug. What will people think?"


lmerie said...

So funny ...I had considered going to the thrift shop to see if I could find one as hideous as your pirate mug . . . then I see your post! hehe Maybe you could ebay it as the last remaining ugly mug! LOL. Ok I might be the only one laughing.

Mel said...

ok now i am going to go buy an ugly mug so the contest goes forward!!

i am rolling over here in freezing NC laughing!!!

Anonymous said...

I was totally thinking that but would NEVER say it! hee hee

Anonymous said...

Just to comfort you a 23 year old daughter has a COLLECTION of ugly coffee mugs - started with a coffee-mug swap at a family reunion 3 years ago. She got 2 ugly mugs for Christmas this year from her sister-in-law.

Anonymous said...

...and thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog. I love seeing my blog name on your "daily fixes"!

Happy Mama said...

aaww. I wasn't fast enough to respond. I have an ugly mug. I don't know how to attach a picture to my comment, but here is how it looks like:
although my looks much dirtier now.

And, I don't floss everyday. I do it only every 6 months to be frank, before going to the dentist. I hope you feel better now:-)

Tammy said...

I just sent these to the thrift store, but check out my ugly mugs:

(scroll down toward bottom of post if you want to skip the other fluff)

Teri~Facedown said...

So...who gets the Starbucks card if you nix the contest?

I kid.

(Because you know...Starbucks does have tea! ;) )



Love you Lid. ken lee.

Brenda Susan said...

Well, well, someone isn't at all bitter now are they? :)
Actually I was bummed that I had recently "de-junked" my cupboards of all ugliness. Didn't you get the memo about that? Bye, bye ugly pirate man.

Dena said...

Ok, so now I'm the contest still on? I mean, I totally put your code thingy in my side bar thingy and well, if it's off I'll have to like, go and remove that code thingy and I am just too tired to do that.

I honestly don't have any ugly mugs, because we don't drink coffee. BUT, I'm more than willing to hit up every thrift store I can find because I love playing along.

Esthermay said...

Oh Dear Linda,
I feel so much better sharing this with you this evening now that you've seen the truth on your own. See I've been researching this. . .
Pr[r] =
n /
R (N-r)
πr(1−π) N−r (6)
r= r= ∑(zxzy)
This, of course is a Bivariate Equation using Pearson's Correlation.
The rho measure of the liner relationship between the variables x (number of readers who have gosh-awful ugly spit-face "mugs") and y (number of readers who are willing to admit it) differs from Pearson's correlation only in that computations did not disqualify "travel" mugs as they are just as filthy scum-encrusted ugly as your "traditional" stupid mug.
Bottom line:
Probablility of ANY valuable data from your meme: ZERO.
So sorry. We understand.
Your creativity is obviously diluted right now as your mourn these last precious days before the Great Government Job Creation Program eliminates your blog and replaces it with something more suited to the needs of the American people.
Great last attempt though!

RissaRoo said...

ROTFL....Ok, honestly most of my mugs are ugly. The holdup here is deciding *which* ugly mug to showcase. I'm not afraid to show my *ugly mug* on the WWW ;o) It's just that last time I did that (as in my unwashed camping head) I got accused of being cute! Ok, the search for an ugly mug is on. I promise, it'll be right out of my cupboard, and it won't be cute.

sara said...

I didn't get a chance to post a comment today, but....ya....that's pretty much what I would have said! :) you see 2 years ago, I got fed up with all the unmatching mugs from all the trips we had taken...yep, dumped 'em and got all matching makes me happy!!!

I did like the ebay idea!

Teri~Facedown said...

Oh hey Lid, if you happen to check your site meter and it happens to say that a certain user in Michigan was on your blog for can look at it in one of two ways.

#1. Said user forgot your blog was up and left said computer with blog still in the browser.

#2. Said user was so enthralled at the thought that a ROCKSTAR blogger actually LINKED her ho hum blog to her AMAZING blog that said user kept it up on a separate tab for a couple of hours just because she felt almost famous.

I prefer option #1. But you choose whichever makes you happy!

Debbie said...

Life is too short to hang onto those ugly mugs girl! Just get rid of them and put this pain behind you.

DidiLyn said...

You geek. (isn't it great to start out a comment by name-calling? I ken -lee that)
I throw away ugly coffee mugs because I don't like to sip my favorite brew (rum) out of them, or let guests drink any liquid out of them.
I am sorry.
Kind of.

Patrice said...

Hahahaha! I am totally laughing my butt off, well I wish it would fall off, that would so help my diet along!

Anyhoo, I was going to do this whole video montage of my coffee mug, but now I am scare of all the tea drinkers out there!!

All I can say is, yay, I have a one in three chance for a Starbucks gift card!! Yippee!

a Tonggu Momma said...

I have an ugly coffee tumbler. It qualifies because it has a picture of me inside of it. Even worse, the husband ran it through the dishwasher once, which was a big no-no, so the photo kind of bled a little bit. It was a teacher gift from one of my students.

Unfortunately, I don't post face shots of family members on my blog. So... no dice. But you are not alone. Although technically mine is a tumbler instead of a mug.

Anonymous said...

Well that's just down right hilarious.

I missed your post and contest. And, well...I'm not sure I have a mug that would qualify.

At least it made for a hilarious post. That's something, isn't it?

My ADHD Me said...

How many other people could run a contest that almost no one enters and STILL get 23 comments...not bad, eh?

Smelling Coffee said...

This is so funny... and so true for me... (that is, the part about decluttering and throwing out any mug I don't LOVE! I really did that - used to have a collection.) I do have a Dr. Seuss mug shapped like a warped Cat in the Hat hat, but it pales in comparison to the mug you used as an example. Sorry...

:-) Jennifer

Melanie @ This Ain't New York said...

You make me laugh! If you had posted this 6 months ago, I could have joined you in twin pity. But, alas, I cannot.

Now, if you had asked us to post our ahem, old braziers we could oblige. Mind you, I wouldn't or my grandmother would reach up and slap me from the grave, but I WOULD have the material (stretched out and gray) to share.

Chel - An Abiding Branch said...

Lid....I like Happy Mama was just busy and a little behind the gun. So forgive my late start but I have an ugle ostrich mug from my Grannie. It is precious cuz it is from my Grannie but it is ugly. My daughter and I laughed a lot! Or I have I think is was my dad's. it looks like a bowling ball...with verbage!!! Yikes! Tacky..ugly same diff...Oh I hate that saying. lol
chel (I'll be back!)

Becky said...

Honestly, showing your ugly mug is like getting in an accident with dirty old underwear on. ;-)

What is floss?

Kim said...

I held onto my ugly mug for YEARS AND YEARS and only got rid of it when we moved to another continent. I was afraid its fragile being would not withstand the rigors of container life for several months. Rather than subject it to *gasp* potential breakage, I did the only humane thing and left it behind. No doubt wondering where that weird lady is who used to fill it with nasty concoctions that left dark rings on its sensitive interior and made awful slurping sounds as her lips touched its lustrous rim. But perhaps it doesn't think of me at all and only enjoys its freedom from abuse and repeated dish washings while lazily reclining with other not-as-amazing mugs in a thrift store in Somewhere, U.S.A.

Janna Qualman said...

LOL! I wish I could say I have the mug. I really do...

The Quiet One said...

ROTFLMBO!!!! Too funny... but I have one question for you...How did you know I take on a British accent when I'm being high and mighty??? LOL!! :o)

Mocha with Linda said...

My mug will become ugly if I drop it laughing while reading your blog!

At least you didn't ask for ugly mugs as in faces!

Only you would have readers willing to go out and buy ugly mugs just to participate.

fransmomma said...

at our youth worker gift exchange (white elephant of course, as all good youth worker gift exchanges are), one of the gifts was, i kid you not, the ugliest mug i have ever seen EVER! alas, it was taken and is no doubt being saved for another gift exchange next year. but just know i would have totally won this thing by a landslide with that piece of art.

Chatty Kelly said...

You should have made is a beer mug contest...then I'll bet you'd have folks entering in droves! LOL!

Missy said...

All right sister...calm down...let me dig through the cabinets, and if I have to I will dig through someone else's cabinets, until I find something worthy (read: ugly enough) for entry into your contest!

Edie said...

Sorry I got rid of my unmatching ugly mugs a few years back. :( Coffee tastes so much better served in a pretty mug.

Susanne said...

Oh dear, I didn't think we'd all throw you into having to have mug therapy with our comments. You are hilarious. Your mom doesn't call you Lidna? And I can totally see her saying that because that is exactly what my mom would say.

I was totally going to do what your first commenter said and that was to go to the second hand store and buy the ugliest one I could find if I couldn't find one at home. Would that be totally cheating?

Barbara H. said...

What a hoot!

The only reason I don't have any is that we are extremely short of cabinet space, so I do have to purge things our pretty frequently. If we had bigger cabinets I am sure I'd have some ugly mugs lurking and forgotten in the back corner.

I have mugs I don't like -- conferences my husband goes to seem to give them out like they're just what everyone needs -- and I have some that are faded -- but nothing really interesting or funny.

Anonymous said...

See, I only get rid of boring mugs, like the ones that come in the box of dishes. So I'm sure I can find an ugly one somewhere. Although, it would be my husband's, because I never buy anything ugly.


Darlene R. said...

Ok, so do I have to be able to USE the mug? I have ONE STINKIN' NASTY mug, but I can't use it because it has a whole in the side of it.

...Yes, in the side of it.

Now you want to see it, right? Maybe I'll have to enter your contest. :) I could probably find an ugly mug somewhere!!
Oh, and thanks to our friends I am now a dedicated coffee drinker! I went 33 years without it and now I HAVE TO HAVE IT!

Edwina at The Picket Fence said...

I honestly do not have a ugly mug. Some are rather old but not in the same league with your mug :)
I even looked at work today in the kitchen to see if I could borrow someone there's ugly mug and I couldn't find one. Guess I will have to see what I can find at Goodwill :)

Paula (SweetPea) said...

What can I say? I have nothing against ugly mugs. I just have never own many mugs at all. Come on, at 34 I purchased my first real set of dishes four year ago, sweetie. Before that, I think I had a simple set my step mom gave me. Before that I had these hideous plastic type/fiberware something plates, no mugs, and probably plastic cups. Now, I sound pathetic so I can join your club in a different manner.

You are too funny. Maybe I should go to Goodwill and find me an ugly mug. :-)

Robin @ Be Still and Know said...

I think you struck gold here girlfriend. It seems that the ugly mug is a hot topic. You either have one or you don't.

I for one have a very lovely (ugly) mug with a lovely moose emblazoned across the side. I wont spoil the anticipation...any way love the idea and all those deprived individual out there with no ugly mugs well what can I say.

Creative genuius sometime has to step outsde the box and make a few waves.

You go girl!


The Crusty Crone said...

So funny!! ahhh... that felt good. Laughing out loud.

I found your blog via a link on Sandy's bird blog. So glad I did.

I may not have an ugly coffee mug, but I can put the hairs on my brush or the dust on my refrigerator up against anyone!! Flossing not so much.

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

Can't I just say that I love coffee too much to have an ugly mug??

Why do you have to bring all that about my housecleaning? Hairbrushes and refrigerator dust. Have you been spying on me?

I've gotta run...going to Goodwill.

They're bound to have an ugly mug. Humph.

*edit* Love you Lid! :-)