I've shared with you all before that I was reared in a very strict religious denomination. There's a saying about this denom that goes, "Premarital sex is against our religion because it might lead to ... dancing." Oh, how I wish I could claim that joke, but I can't.
We didn't even have a deck of cards in our home while I was growing up. Thus, I never learned to play Euchre and still seem to have a mental block when it comes to learning.
Once we invited a couple over who thought they could teach me. They thought if they were all patient and everything that I would quickly learn and they could then gloat in their superior tutelage of the famous Euchre Dunce. But I knew I was in trouble when the male of the couple began explaining it to me with his eyes closed so he wouldn't have to look upon my dunceness. Then I could see through his lids that he was rolling his eyes upwards while trying again.
Fortunately, Jorge jumped in and stopped the volcano that was about to erupt from the guy's head from his frustration with me. Jorge was my hero. It was like he was saying, "She may be a Euchre Dunce, but she's my Euchre Dunce!"
Anyway, part 2.
Obviously, occult practices were never high on the church's list as "wholesome past times."
However, on my mother's side of the family, there is a history of interest in superstition and mysticism.
Based on my upbringing, though, you can imagine my dismay a couple of years ago to learn that my 80-something mother is a regular viewer of Sylvia Browne on Montel Williams' show.
In case you have missed the 8th Wonder of the World known as Sylvia Browne, here is a thumbnail bio sketch on Wikipedia that will fill you in about her legal mishaps, professional blunders and the church she has founded.
Sylvia has three distinct physical qualities: smoker's voice, a lisp and acrylic talons that only Napoleon Dynamite could draw. But the most irritating facet of Sylvia is her demeanor with people she "reads." (By the way, she can help you out for $850 per 20 minute phone call. Oh, go ahead and call! You know you're dying to know where that missing Target receipt is!)
She's compassionate with people on one hand but is then dismissive on the other. She hands out bad advice with the authority and audacity that Judge Judy hands down court opinions.
Once, I saw an audience member ask about her elderly mother's failing health and the prospect of possible surgery. Sylvia told her not to let them do surgery on her mother. Or perhaps I should say, "Dr. Sylvia said not to treat the patient." Can you believe that?
But probably the most infamous and worst blunder was when, on the Montel Williams show, she told Shawn Hornbeck's parents that Shawn was dead. Of course, this young man was eventually found alive, and all of the details that Sylvia had stated so surely about the abduction were completely wrong. My heart broke when I saw the video of Shawn's mother drop her head into her hands to weep for her son.
Sylvia's defense is that she never claims to be 100% correct and that not even the most respected professionals such as doctors are always right. The rebuttal to that is obvious I'm not even going to verbalize it.
My mom contends that there are some people born with something "extra" about them, spiritually speaking. Whether you believe that or not, this issue is not a gray one in the Bible. About consulting mediums and trying to reach the dead, etc., God says, plainly, "Don't," and there are some very good reasons for that admonition.
So here I am at 46, still Euchre-disabled, scratching my head over a mom who's now watching Sylvia.
PS: I hope you don't read this as disrespectful to my mom. You know I love her. And please don't think of me as all "holier than thou." I have a lot of issues, too. I'm just processing another mid-life confusion out loud. Maybe I'll just chill for a while with Boz. Get it out of my system!