*OK. I couldn't get the poll to post below this post. It has to go up there or at the bottom of this page, so I chose up there. Please read the post and then vote.*
If I offend a reader in this post, I pre-apologize. But I cannot help myself.
I HATE most Valentine's Day commercials. But I hereby dedicate my hatiest hate of all to this one, the one where vapid, bosomy office females squeal over teddy bears in costumes. I mean, would any sane person pay $40-$80 for a stuffed animal?
This is Love Bandit Bear. Questions:
Does this look like $70 worth of bear to you?
Under what circumstances would you pay $70 for a stuffed animal?
What would you do if your sweetheart bought you one of these famous Vermont bears?
For me, it would be the kiss of death on a potential relationship. And if my husband bought it, it would be fodder for 50 years of ribbing: "Remember that one Valentine's Day when you lost your mind and spent $70 on a stupid bear?!"
So I'm going to put a poll at the end of this post about whether you would like a Vermont Teddy Bear for Valentine's Day or for any reason in the universe. Please participate.
In 2nd place for my hatiest hate feelings for a Valentine's commercial is the one I keep hearing on the radio about how if the guy buys the girl this brand of pajamas, it's a sure thing for getting her to take her clothes off.
Well. Isn't that romantic. Could they be any more skanky/crass? Why not just get a hold of some OBGYN paper gowns. They come off even faster! "Green paper looks good on you, baby, but even better on the floor! Woo!"
In 3rd place is a local radio contest for a Valentine's package that includes a getaway, flowers, etc. Fine. But the thing that would preclude my desire to win is that it's sponsored by the local adult-whatever store. You know, the one with the costumes and DVDs. Oh yes. One of the items in the prize package is a bunch of DVDs. Great. Nothing says "I love you," like soft porn. Or worse.
Am I a prude? Am I old and stodgy? Why yes, yes I am. But I also have some self-respect. These Valentine's gifts are legitimate grounds for getting a "loser-ectomy" in my opinion. Well, that's what I think. What do you think?
Remember, please participate in the poll.