Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Slanguage--Are You Down With It?
Wow. You all care A LOT about grammar and punctuation errors, according to the comments on my post about apostrophes the other day. Now I'm all paranoid that if I misspell or try 2 B 2 hip, you will cut me loose. Because you're not putting up with sloppy errors. (Do fragments count? Because I love fragments.)
Anyway, in the interest of keeping you moms (my "homeslices" as my daughter would say) hip to the groove, I'm going to share more languag-y wisdom with you.
Let's take stock a moment. Do you think you're caught up on, or down with (as it were) today's youngsters' slanguage? According to Trend Central, here are a few of the latest, with my editorial comments added for extra clarification and some wicked-sweet middle-aged spin. (Huh?)
adj. Spawned from the increasing popularity of new HBO series Summer Heights High, the Aussie slang for poor has infiltrated the vocabulary of recessionistas everywhere
"Caroline, I can't go out to dinner tonight: My pay cut has left me totally povo."
[Sounds like what puppies die from. Also, aren't the Osmonds from Povo, Utah?]
v. To stay home with your boyfriend/girlfriend to cuddle
"It's raining and cold outside; I think I'll skip the bars and cupcake tonight."
[Improvement: "It's raining and cold outside. I think I'll skip the bars and cuddling and just eat a boatload of cupcakes tonight."]
n. A social setting that involves a mix of people whose relationships to each other are, well, complicated
"I was sitting next to my current flame and then my ex walked in with his current girlfriend, who I had a falling out with in high school - total hot room!"
[Hot Room: A room containing a perimenopausal woman. Also applies to cars, doctors' waiting rooms and especially fitting rooms.]
v. To "power own" something or someone. Derived years ago from World of Warcraft smack talk, this slang has been adopted throughout other online games, and has since surfaced in the mainstream real world
"I pwn-ed Stephen last night in Wii Tennis."
["I totally pwn the best parking space every day at work! Woo! I rule! The first shall be first!"]
n. A frequently used term in the video game community that quite simply means you really messed up and/or something/someone is an utter failure
"Dude, your attempt to get that girl's number was an epic fail."
["Dude, your attempt to do Weight Watchers on your Royal Caribbean cruise was an epic fail."]
n. Two people who are equal in depth of arcane knowledge
"I knew I had met my geequal when Frank showed me his Star Wars light saber iPhone app."
["I knew I had met my geequal when Sylvia and I wore the same high-tech light-up Christmas sweatshirt to the office party."]
adj. A term used to describe people's need for recognition and self-fulfillment via the Internet. This is accomplished with incessant Facebook status updates and TMI-Twitter feeds, and serves the purpose of making one feel important and/or noticed
"My friends consider my need to Twitter detailed accounts of my trips to Trader Joe's, the gas station, and my opinions on anything, really, to be annoyingly myselfish. I consider it shameless self-promotion!"
[Some people think having your followers on your sidebar is a bit myselfish, but really, it's just shameful self-promotion! Like taking the best parking space!]
n. Taking a vacation from being a hater where you are committed to not saying anything bad about anyone or anything; synonymous with "moral cleanse"
"Whatever, I know you have an opinion but just can't speak your mind because you are on a hate-cation."
[I would say something about a certain woman on "The Bachelor," but I'm taking a hate-cation from slamming people I don't even know. For a while.]
adj. A term used to describe people or things considered to be cool or trendy
"The pop-up art gallery on Elizabeth Street is alt-worthy."
["When I attempted to cut my own bangs, the result was definitely alt-worthy.]
"Whoa, that conversation was very 'kward."
["Whoa, when I tried to have an "Ugly Mug" contest and no one on earth owned an ugly mug, that moment of realization was very 'kward.'"
OK, so, "Yo. Werd to your blawg. Keep it real."
What slanguage did you use most often when you were growing up?
Do you know any new terms I didn't list here?