Saturday, March 14, 2009
"In the News" and Saturday Mornings
Do you remember the children's mini-news show that aired between cartoons on Saturday mornings in the 70s called "In the News?" The segments were two and a half minute long and ran eight times a morning on CBS. Here's a 20-second snippet of one. I'm not sure who the narrator is; do you recognize the voice?
Anyway, Here's my version of "In the News" today, although it's not exactly cutting edge:
Item 1: Surely I am not the only person to notice the irony of an FDA Commissioner named Hamburg. You can read about President Obama's choice for this position in this Reuter's story, but mainly, I just think it's kind of funny that a Margaret Hamburg would oversee an agency in charge of saving us from deadly salmonella outbreaks, among other things.
I wonder if Ms. Hamburg will be assisted by Mayor McCheese.
And Bernie Madoff? "Made off?" Seriously?
These are like bad jokes.
Item 2: Did you have to clean up your room on Saturday mornings when you were a kid? What am I saying--I still clean my bedroom on Saturday mornings.
Remember how you'd try to hide junk like Mr. Potato Head parts because you just didn't know where to put them? Apparently, the U.S. is still using that strategy, dumping junk in space.
In case you haven't heard, three astronauts had to quickly get into a Soyuz thingy which I imagine to be a like a space lifeboat or a bedroom closet because some debris was coming at them too quickly to move the whole space station. So they kind of hid and peeked out windows like I do when someone comes to our front door at night. All this transpired in nine minutes.
According to this Reuters story, some smart person named "Humphries" said,"Even tiny objects pose a risk to satellites and spacecraft orbiting Earth. Because objects in orbit are moving on different paths, at different inclinations and at speeds of 17,500 miles per hour and faster, something as small as a grain of sand can impact with the power of a bowling ball moving at 100 mph, Humphries said.'
That Humphries is a show off.
Anyway, the object, identified as a "blue leg from a Cootie Game," nearly took out the $100 billion Space Station. Just kidding. It was a piece of rocket engine.
In the same article, "Humphries" said that if it had hit the station, the astronauts would have had only 9 minutes of air.
Someone needs to go to space and really clean up that junk, although it seems like there should be infinite room for most everybody's stuff out there, don't ya think? Maybe if we do a good job of cleaning up, we can collect our allowance and have dessert!
Hey, I'm writing at the Cafe today. Care to check it out?