Wednesday, May 20, 2009

American Idol, Shakespeare, and Can You Match the Slogans with the Products?

American Idol: First of all, can you believe the American Idol finale? When was the last time you saw so much talent in one place, besides the Lawrence Welk show or the Muncie community theater?!

Seriously. I felt my adrenaline surge during "We Are the Champions," and I felt my stomach go in a knot (in a bad way) just as I did as a kid when my older brother loved KISS. And although Rod Stewart looked a little unstable on his feet, he's still got it. Plus, he is still skinny, which is important when you're Rod Stewart. He is one person who can just never get away with anything else, you know? I mean, even Cher could get chubby before Rod.

I don't know why Cyndi Lauper sat like that. I knew you wanted me to address that issue. "Ladies" shouldn't sit that way. Especially middle aged menopausal ladies. Ick.

Steve Martin? How did he get this gig? I mean, he's an all right performer, but with those big names on the stage, how did he manage this?

Oh, I could go on, but this show is why we watch every season, and somehow, it just seems to get better and better.

Am I a better person for watching AI? No, I am not. I am, however, a highly entertained one, which is not as noble but at least I'm honest.

One last thing: Yay Kris.


You may not watch The Office, but I must tell you that if you have ever worked in an office, there was a scene that you would relate to: the filthy office microwave.

Such is is my life.

So the receptionist, Pam, made a sign and posted it on the top of the microwave about cleaning up after one's self after using the microwave. Her co-workers hated this sign.

Today, it was not the microwave, but a plastic bucket of fruit with a lid that had sat for several days in our sink until you couldn't tell the kiwi from the ewwwweee.

Now it's not often that my present life, secretary, collides with my past life, English major, but today, before I even had time to think about it, as I approached the dreaded bucket, Shakespeare said to my head, "Something wicked this way comes."

If ever a bucket deserved to have "Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble" chanted over it, it was this Rubbermaid bucket.

It sure looked like someone had cooked up a pot of poisoned entrails, eye of newt, and toe of frog.

So I did what any Pam-worthy secretary would do. I snuck it outside and pitched it.

Shhh. Don't tell anyone. Oh wait. My co-workers sometimes read this blog.

Match the Slogan with the Product:

In other work news, yesterday we had a giant meeting to discuss the relevancy and viability of our church's mission statement: "Know, Grow, Go."

Shakespeare would be proud.

So as we discussed the statement, a couple of us came up with alternative ones just in case we decided to 86 the current one, my favorite one being, "I Hope You Dance" which was so random that it completely cracked me up.

That got me to thinking about branding and mission statements, and I was wondering if we should just work with what has proven successful elsewhere, that is, famous advertising slogans. So I adapted some; see what you think. Try plugging your church's name in there and see if it doesn't make you giggle. And can you match the famous slogan with the product?

  • Union Chapel: A little dab'll do ya. (Especially when you work there all week.)
  • Union Chapel is the place for the helpful hardware man. (Things get broked.)
  • A day without Union Chapel is like a day without sunshine. (Uh, this must not include my desk because sometimes, I don't emit sunshine.)
  • Union Chapel: All you add is love. (And volunteers, and programs, and sick babies and smelly middle school boys. Now we're closer.)
  • Union Chapel: the San Francisco treat. (Seriously doubt San Fran would consider our theology a treat.)
  • Union Chapel, take me away. (Ohh, so you want to go on a missions trip!)
  • Union Chapel: Celebrate the Moments of Your Life. (Kinda cute.)
  • How do you spell relief? U-n-i-o-n C-h-a-p-e-l
  • In the valley of the Jolly, "Ho, ho, ho," Union Chapel. (At least it's reminiscent of Psalm 23.)
  • Be all that you can be: Union Chapel (Yes, please volunteer today.)
  • If I've only one life, let me live it as a Union Chapel member! (Sounds like a religious Patrick Henry.)
  • Just do it. Union Chapel. (I'm kind of liking this one. It's like "stop making excuses and get plugged in.")
  • Union Chapel: It's the cheesiest. (That's a great one! Especially for youth ministry!)
  • It's the real thing: Union Chapel!
  • Like a good neighbor, Union Chapel is there. (Not half bad.)
  • Union Chapel: It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
  • Look, Ma, no sinners! (Not hardly, but funny!)
So do you know which products these slogans were originally written for?


Pam from alertandorientedx4 said...

OOOOOO! I know! I Know! I SO wish this were a real contest...I actually know all of these (I think)
Ace Hardware
Florida Orange Juice
Purina Chow
General Foods Int'l coffee
Green Giant
Clairol (blonde hair color)
State Farm
Crest (I think--maybe Colgate?)
Yea for slogans!

Mocha with Linda said...

Well, seeing as how I'm even older than you and I'm told I used to run in the room when the ads came on when I was little, let's see....

(It would have helped if you had numbered them.)

1. That was a hair product. I'm thinking Vitalis or Dippity Do.
2. Ace!
3. That one I'm blanking on.
4. Some prepared food. But since I make everything from scratch, I have no reason to remember it.
5. Rice-a-Roni
6. Calgon
7. Kodak?
8. R-O-L-A-I-D-S
9. Green Giant
10. The Army.
11. I never knew they had an ad, but that's bound to be TEXAN! (No?!)
12. Nike
13. Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.
14. Coke
15. State Farm
16. Timex
17. A Soap?

Can't believe you didn't do...
My church has a first name, it's U-N-I-O-N.
My church, it has a second name, C-H-A-P-E-L.
Oh, I love to help out every way,
And if you ask me why, I'll say. . .
Union C-H-A-P-E-L
Saves folks from H-E-Double-L.

Between this and my blog, I think 1) it's waaay past time for me to go to bed, and 2) I'll be lucky if you ever speak to me again!

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Yea Kris....I loved it....

Chatty Kelly said...

You must be related to my sister and me and put up for adoption...except for that whole blond hair thing.

First, everything you said about Idol was what I was thinking! Lauper in those white pants and sitting like THAT?!?!? Steward drunk. The Kiss shoes. We are the Champions! And Steve Martin??? LOVED IT!

Second, your branding my sister's (MY ADHD ME) post from yesterday. It is all commerical & song jingles woven into a crazy (what else) story.

Yup - my only question is why did my parents put you up for adoption? Why were you the lucky one? LOL! (Just kidding, kinda).

2Thinks said...

It is way too weird, but while ironing my pants for work this morning, I was actually singing:

"Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks. Tough kids, sissy kids, even kids with chicken pox...

so here I'll add: love Union Chapel.

I'm not kidding about my singing ths old ad song this morning. What is the deal Lid?


Melissa said...

That was awesome! I knew lots of them. Olivia and I actually played this game yesterday but she's so young, she just got frustrated. Love it!

Lois Lane II said...

Like a good neighbor, state farm is there! ;)

We had a coworker who used to leave food in our fridge...for years. I mean, that stuff was NASTY. And it was a SMALL FRIDGE. EEEWWW!!! We finally just threw it away ourselves!

Lynn said...

Okay Girl,

I love to read your American Idol post on Thursday. I have to tell you.... I got a phone call yesterday... Hurry, get dressed we have to leaven now.... Let's go to the American Idol Finale...

Can you believe it? My next door neighbor had tickets and asked me to go with her. It was surreal to say the least and being in the Nokia Theater the music is tons better than on TV. I thought of you and wished you were there with us.

Once in a life time thing. Each band would set up. Our mouths would drop open and then we would look at each other and say, "Shut up." We couldn't beleive how many bands, singers they put up there and how fast they pulled it together.

Anyhoo, I signed up for tickets next year, when my email arrives, get ready... Hugs.

christy rose said...

Ok so, I Have smiled and laughed and went down memory lane from the first word of this post to the last word of the last comment! You started my morning well!:)



a Tonggu Momma said...

Steve Martin totally got that gig because no one else was willing to allow the "caw, caw girl" to sing their song. I'm just saying...

Greg C said...

I think I got them all correct but here is one more for those Sundays when you put on a Breakfast:

Union Chapel, It, not just for Breakfast anymore.


I'd like to teach the world to Union Chapel. :)

Melanie @ This Ain't New York said...

I won't go through the list, but I think I know most of these. I'm a commercial nerd. LOVE advertising. Makes Hubs roll his eyes.

Angie said...

LOVED this post! Thank goodness there is someone out there who loves AI and The Office and knows we're not the better for it, except for being entertained! I have a house full of Adam-ites, but I had confiscated the phones for several weeks voting for Kris. They were sure "I'd" lose. Sweet Victory!! :)

Loved the slogans...ha, you inserted your church doesn't get funnier than that, my friend! Awesome!

I'll be sure to share this one with my friends!

Angela said...

I loved the American Idol show last night, even though few things are creepier than Gene Simmons' tongue. You know how I feel about clowns.

Loved your slogan recap...a little dab will do ya...where is that from, I remember it, but cannot place it...

Heather of the EO said...

WOW, that Pam knew all the answers!

And you totally crack me up. Cyndi was sitting funny.

I was impressed with Steve Martin. I loved the song he wrote and wanted it to keep going and going. Who knew?

Cindy Swanson said...

Totally agree with you about the way Cyndi Lauper was sitting...gross! Also, I actually like that song, but the weird way she was riffing toward the end ruined it. I got the feeling Allison was just really trying to jam along, but it sounded awful for a minute there.

So glad Kris won...although, IMHO, it should've been Danny!

Dena said...

I have to admit, I loved KISS growing up. I got grounded for having their album in my room and my parents took it away. My bad rebel self went out and bought another one and hid it from them.

Soooooo glad Kris one. I'm just not a fan of guyliner...especially when it has glitter with it like last night.

Cyndi Lauper - girls may wanna have fun, but they should also sit with their legs together. Thank the Lord she wasn't wearing a skirt.

Becky said...

Love The Office. Those slogans are so fun! I'm not about to make any guesses though. I think some of them were before my time ;-)

skoots1mom said...

generally one can't play a dulcimer as effectively if it's not in the lap...if you hold it in the middle with your knees together, it's going to flip off your lap on one side or the other.
**they could have had a prop in front of her so it wouldn't have been quite so "eye catching"


It would have been great for all of the stars to have donated their airtime profits to a "needy organization"...there were major earners on that stage last night.

Corporate refrigerators have to be the worst thing ever...i feel your pain and pity your nostrils.

love slogans, too! You could have a church slogan SONG...
thought of this when I heard Union Chapel..."Just look for the UNION label"...


Kathryn Magendie said...

Ah, The Office - I missed most of thi season, so hope to see it on re-runs....and when I worked in an office of course it had the nasty microwave - ugh ugh!

Ballerina Girl said...

Ok so funny!!! I know most of these but if I were to try to put them now, after 20 comments, I am sure that some would think I was just copying! hahaha

So, I won't...oh and by the way, never even watched American Idol..hahaha, your synopsis was enough for me :)


Lorri said...

I totally was saying that about Cyndi Lauper the entire time! Who sits like that?

Sue J. said...

Union Chapel: We'll always leave the Light on for you....

And before night falls, I have a new take on the 30 x 5..

PJ said...

I needed this humor today. Total lunacy and I love it. I tried, but my humor today fell waaaay short!!! More like bitter irony -- or sour grapes!!! LOL