Monday, June 29, 2009

Coming to You from Sevierville, TN

Sunday, 7:35 pm

Hi, Y'all.

I'm in Sevierville (near Gatlinburng) for a couple of days for my daughter's national dance competition.

We arrived last night (in the new CRV, no less, very smooth ride, ahhh) and began our adventure this morning with Jorge and Kristin enjoying a morning run while I slept in, which is the first time I've done that in ... days. Ha. Just kidding. I rarely sleep in because I'm more of a morning person than a late night one. So it felt really weird, like a sin or something.

For relaxation pleasure, I brought a plethora of magazines and one novel because I had big plans for the pool, which materialized due to an additional plethora of Tennessee sunshine. I was in non-office heaven.

A couple hours later a restaurant, Kristin, sitting across from me, said, "Mom, how did you get all of those mosquito bites or hives or whatever?"

Looking down, I saw that I appeared to have leprosy.

It took me a second to figure out what was going on. I had used, for the first time, a spray-on sunscreen which turned out not to be a good idea because in spraying my shoulders, I didn't realize that the fine mist I was feeling was actually not fine at all, and indeed left white spots all over me the size of peas. Perhaps there is a river around here in which I can go dip 7 times or something.

You wouldn't think it would be all that noticeable, but during the checkout at a CVS, the cashier asked me, and I quote: "Now how did you get that funky sunburn?"


This afternoon, I sat on the 2nd floor balcony of the hotel trying to write my column for the paper which will be printed July 4, with the ground-level pool to my left and the foothills of the Smokies to my right. It would have been quite picturesque except helicopter tours kept flying overhead which reminded me of giant bumblebees because they were yellow and black and "buzzed" menacingly. So I gave up and came in here.

Right now I'm in the lobby where I'm allowed 15 minutes on this computer, but so far, since no one else is around, I have broken that law already. Apparently, with sleeping in and hogging time on the computer, I am having a wild first day of vacation.

This hotel is supposed to have an antebellum feel. Directly to my left are large portraits of Clark Gable and Vivienne Leigh as Rhett and Scarlett beside an old-timey hutch filled with GWTW memorabilia, plus two glass-encased large sets of Rhett and Scarlett dolls on each side of the hutch, about 24" tall each. Very kitschy.

The two ladies behind the desk are having a LENGTHY and boisterous discussion about whether "swapped" is a real word. They have spelled it about 6 times, used it in different sentences, decided "changed out" sounds classier, and then revisited the whole conundrum again. I just want to yell out, "Yes. Yes it IS a word. It is the past tense of 'swap.' Please use it without further consternation and/or discussion." But then I would just be a rude Yankee, and there's no need for that because they are lovely women. Just really vocabulary-conscious lovely women. Like the bumblebee helicopters, buzzing around me.

The highlight of today, though, was eating at The Islamorada Fish Company restaurant, situated smack dab in the middle of a 130,000 sq. ft. Pro Bass megalo-store complete with stuffed (taxidermied?) wild animals, indoor waterfalls and a 13,00 gallon aquarium. Sounds strange, I know, but when I get home, I'll post pics, and you will see that it is stranger than you thought.

Since we're here with friends whose daughter is also dancing, we are planning a wild game of Farkle tonight, so if I don't post early in the morning, you know the partying just got out of hand here tonight at "Tara."


2Thinks said...

Sounds like fun. I.T. loves Pro Bass Shops and Cabela's which is the same type of store with lots of wild animal has beens staring at you while you shop for outdoor camping and hunting equipment etc. with real fish swimming in pools by the shoe department and all. Interesting. Enjoy your vacation!

CrowGeo said...

Testing the comment posting because Linda is worried that her faithful readers have "dumped her for Bambi." I'm writing this under duress.

Mrs. E said...

Hope you get a picture of your leoprosy! I'm sure your daughter would be glad to help out all your blog friends so we can see, too!! : ) I'm just sayin'...!!

Melanie @ This Ain't New York said...

Just make sure you leave before you start saying "Fiddledeedee." ;>)

samurai said...

I am looking forward to hearing how the competition goes!

Sorry to hear about the spray on tan thing... but i have similar spots, but only because of spray on sun screen so... 8)

Mocha with Linda said...

You're back! Sorta. Well, you're gone but you've posted. Days just aren't the same without you.

You seem like such a Southern girl deep down. I forget you are one of those (water barricade) Yankees! :-)

Greg C said...

Were you able to fish in that tank and catch your supper? I am sure there is more than one fish company in Islammorda so they need a better name. :)

Jenny wren's nest said...

My favorite pizza place is in Gatlinburg, Tn. its called Ogles brick oven on 702 E Parkway in Gatlinburg. They have the best pizza sauce I have ever tasted, and the pizzone is so big you will need a doggy bag.{if they call them that any more}.

skoots1mom said...

comments have been way down this summer...everyone seems to be enjoying the outside and not blogging very much.

hope you're having a better time today without all the 'buzzing' from either helo's overhead or 'dueling tongues' wagging faster than a yodeling Tennessee Volunteer :)

Mama Belle said...

Did you eat at "The Flying Horse"? Or maybe it's "The Flying Carousel"? It's the restaurant with the old-fashioned carousel in it. I don't remember. But, it's in Pigeon Forge, directly on the main strip.

But, if you haven't ... go. It's delicious. And, order the chicken salad in the pineapple. You won't regret it. I promise.

Anonymous said...

Welcome to Sevierville. I am local and I will say that many of the locals become very confused about the pronunciation of many words. I believe it is because we are bilingual (English and Redneck hillbilly), but fluent in neither language. We tend to confuse the English language with the distinct redneck hillbillyeeze.

Concerning dipping in the local rivers, I would make certain that I hiked up into the mountains. Nothing like a wonderful case of e-coli to top of the fun you have had thus far.

Have a great vacation.

Anonymous said...

I've experienced the taxidermy thing at Cabela's. Can't wait to see those pictures! Enjoy your vacation and know that I would NEVER dump you for Bambi!

Anonymous said...

Our family friends live in Sevierville! Dollywood :)

It's really nice because it's between Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg, but it doesn't feel very touristy itself. Of course, with all the Farkling to come, you won't be worried about the great outdoors.


kristi said...

I invested in a laptop this thing ever. Our hotel had WIFI so I could blog, or do whatever right there in the hotel!

Brenda Susan said...

I haven't dumped you just been too busy to be here much. This was a fun post, I'm looking forward to the pics!