Friday, December 04, 2009

Facebook Fodder & John Mellencamp's Stop Smoking Challenge from His Son

As you see by my invitation to the right there to "friend me!" I am a Facebook participant. Lately, the whole thing is growing on me. For one thing, it's easier than blogging. One status update is like a mini-blog post. Consider this one from last night by me:

"OHmygosh. I had to leave trays and trays of buckeyes all over my kitchen to go to the doc after a sudden and unmistakable problem. THREE hours later, I am the LAST one out of the office, last in dark parking lot, and finally home with my black and yellow antibiotics. --Hey--are these what they called "yellowjackets" on Hawaii Five-0?? :) Book me, Danno."

See how much info you learned in such a short post? Why can't I do that here?

I like being in touch with friends old and new. About half my friends are bloggers, other half consists of current friends and friends from high school.

Sometimes, a question or update generates a bit of conversation. I thought I'd share this one with you.

I asked the following question, and just look at the differing opinions on the whole subject. Very, very interesting! (I abbreviated names.)

Linda Batt Crow: What do you think about John Mellencamp's FB deal with his son?
Tue at 11:17pm · Comment ·LikeUnlike

MC: Not sure--still thinking about it.

CN:What exactly was it Linda? I just heard about it. I know he needs to quit!!

LW: Don't like him. Don't care. That was mean. Won't take it back though. :)

PH: If he's been unsuccessful so far, it's unlikely that even a million people who join his son's cause will change anything. He's counting on it not being possible. I did see how old the son was...not too young I hope.

SGM: It's sad...parents who lay this crap on their kids make me angry.

PH: Oops...that was i did NOT see how old the son is... I agree S, it makes me both sad and angry. But mostly sad.

Linda Batt Crow: C, apparently if his son can get one million people to join his FB group, his dad has agreed to quit smoking. It was interesting seeing the comments because it didn't occur to me to be angry for some reason. I had other thoughts, but not anger. Interesting.

DFK: wouldn't the risk of cancer and death be enough? i swear some people.....they have no idea

Linda Batt Crow: One way to look at it is that he wants his son to feel as if he is the force (strength) behind him to help him quit. In that sense, the son, "Speck", 14, can always say (or feel) "I am the one who finally got him to quit." For all we know, he may be down to a few cigarettes a day and knows that quitting all together is imminent, so why not let the son feel he had a big part in it? Just sayin'

Linda Batt Crow: And I don't think one million is an unreachable number for Mellencamp, so I don't think setting the number really high to ensure it won't happen is what's going on.

DFK: good point, but the man needs to be true to his word. Oh i agree...that number isnt too high at all....just figured he would be motivated some other way...but you are right!

CN: I'm just wondering if I can get about a thousand FB friends to sign on to make me quit chocolate chip cookies. Ehhh, I doubt it!

DFK: whahahabahahahaa that is funny.

Linda Batt Crow: This is quickly turning into a blog post. :) Thanks for the inspiration!

CBB: We also need to realize that nicotine is a drug, and it often self-medicating. Not healthy, but somewhat effective for a period of time. Not a good thing, but if we are constantly judgmental about it, it becomes a power-struggle between the smokers and the non-smokers. I had a very wise counselor who pointed out the BENEFITS of smoking for those under stress, and it helped me realize that I shouldn't look down on smokers. It's a very difficult thing to stop - (self-medicating for relief of stress)

DFK: as addicting as heroine....but the consequences are deadly..

DJP: Linda,I am an ex smoker, I quit 11 years ago on the 7th of this month. E asked me to quit that Oct. I did not give her an answer because I didn't want to lie to her. I did not have any intentions one way or the other to quit or to keep on smoking. Many variables played in my decision to stop. I had more reasons to quit than to keep smoking. To quit smoking is like taking on a full time job, after your first day, you really have conquered it. The key to stop, is once you have gone that day, is to not cave to the craving, do that will feed the habit.
I only hope that John M. will honor his agreement with his son. It is not easy, but it is like any other habit, such as drugs, alcohol, or food addiction, if you fall off the wagon, get pick up and get back on it. Don't give up.

CBB: I remember when you quit, D. Good for you!

CBB: I totally agree, D. Still, I was just saying that we look down on people with addictions, and we should be more understanding.

CN: I think his son is brilliant if dear dad will really do it. Dear dad is an idiot if he doesn't stop. There are plenty of "helps" out there to get him out of the addiction.

KC: any publicity is good publicity, right?

CC: I think it's hilarious & in my head Mellencamp didn't "lay this" on Speck. In my head it's one of those random conversations John didn't think would really become something. Imagine with me, it's morning, John's having his coffee & first cig of the day & Speck starts fake coughing in annoyance. Speck suddenly says he's got this wacky idea to get his dad to quit. It seems unlikely he would actually attempt it, & John's no really awake yet so he says," sure, whatever, go get ready for school." But Speck followed through & I think, with so many others watching, John will follow through.

Linda Batt Crow: KC, I don't think it's career boost move. I have to tell you all that when I first read about it, I had the exact opposite reaction to a lot of people. I thought it was a very sweet gesture on both parts. And everyone knows sometimes your love for your child can change your decisions and habits. I know.

PDH: And you're the ray of sunshine, Linda. That's why we love you!!! I'm sure the child's motivations are pure. I guess my gut reaction is that the Dad was just trying to get the kid off his back and eventually the whole thing will backfire because he has no intention of actually quitting. On the other hand... I sure hope that you're right, Linda!!!

Although, I like C's version too!!!

MAF: Love it! Whether he's successful or not, it's a good model. God does not require us to be successful, just faithful. We don't have to know what the motivation is to join the fight. It will bring attention to how hard it is to do.

CC: Well said MAF!

Linda Batt Crow: My mother, who is 83 and lived through the end of the Depression and WWII and had 4 children, says that quitting smoking when she was a young woman is THE single hardest thing she's ever done.

CH: I would have to agree!

KB: I hope it works, but he really needs to want it for himself.

DC: Wow, 31 comments. Is that your new record? And by the way I agree with you.

Linda Batt Crow: Don't know if it's a record. But it does tell me that it will make a good blog post. And great minds think alike. Or maybe SHS minds do???

DF: I'm thinking it was a good idea on Speck's part - since John agreed, once they get the million people John will know their are a million people "watching" which may be what he knows he needs in order to quit. If he's 14 he is old enough to know that this might not work and not be traumatized by it. If it does work, YEAH!

DJP: Linda, I also thought it was a good thing, and I would encourage anyone with a smoking habit to quit. It is expensive, but it causes so many health issues!! Heart disease, COPD, emphysema, and many types of cancer, anywhere you have RBC cell...cancer.

BW: I haven't heard anything about it what is it?

DOH: How do I join his FB group?!! If I can help to save even one person the grief that I have had to endure related to cancer, I am in-I don't care if he really stops, it is a personal choice, as was my mother's choice to smoke for years and J's to chew, but look at the attention it is gaining!!! For those who don't know me, my mom died of cancer in July and J, my husband, in September-both from cancer directly related to tobacco!!

Linda Batt Crow: DOH, I sent you the link (an invitation to join) and also if you click on my info and go to my groups, you can link there.

Yesterday at 7:07pm · Delete
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Good stuff. :) By the way, this story is probably more interesting to Hoosiers because Mellencamp is one.


Debbie said...

OK, I sent you a friend request - Debbie Amsler Quigg in case you wonder who that crazy woman is.

Another Suburban Mom said...

I am going to find and join this group on facebook. Thanks for the post, it was very funny!

bensrib said...

Honestly, who knew so many people cared about John M's smoking habit? I love facebook too for the ease of it. Blogs carry such pressure!

Joyce said...

I'm on both and like them for different reasons but I prefer blogging and reading blogs.

I'm not a Hoosier but I like John Mellencamp...saw him in concert way back when. I'm all for doing whatever it takes to get someone to quit smoking...My initial impression was like yours...kind of a sweet thing. A son who wants his father to give up a bad habit.

We're a judgmental lot though aren't we? That might be another impression I got...not from the original story but just from all the conversation it has generated and I'm not talking about just on your fb's everywhere.

Have a great weekend!
(my fb is-Joyce Shaklee Daley)

The Bug said...

When I first read the thread on FB I was a little turned off by the negativity people felt about it, so I stopped reading. Wish I would have commented so I could have read all the other responses! After all, I have, MANY times in my life announced that I was going to do something to a lot of people so that they could hold me accountable - & isn't that what this could be too?

Kay said...

When I first started FB, I remember thinking "that's it?! No decorated home pages, nothing. Just type out a sentence. Wooptydo." I kinda get more now, though. It's just really different than blogging. lol

Mocha with Linda said...

Another crazy day, and I'm slow to stop by. No particular opinion here on the subject.

Heather of the EO said...

I didn't know anything about this. I think it's sweet too. I hope it works out for both of them.

And WOW, quite a conversation it inspired. Good stuff.

skoots1mom said...

you've been 'buttoned'!

Anonymous said...

Personally, I think kids should stay out of their parents' business. Jeez! Just because we become parents doesn't mean that the kids have a right to rule our lives, shame us about something that we do, or otherwise try to change us. We had the kids, took the responsibility seriously, provided food-clothing-shelter, and all that jazz. But just because we're parents doesn't mean that we lose our individuality or lose our ability to make decisions for ourselves (no matter the outcome). If a parent would pressure their adult child to stop doing something that the parent thought the adult child shouldn't do, we'd be accused of coddling or controlling or "not being able to let go". I think it works both ways. If kids don't like something that a parent is doing, either ignore it or stay away from the parent so you don't have to watch.

End of my diatribe. :-D

~A 53-yr-old parent of 2 adult children & 1 pre-teen who thinks she's an adult