I thought the stale reminders would drive me crazy, but I was wrong. Today as I tucked away little mementos of this year, I was sad. And here's where I demonstrate the glass half-empty outlook I carry with me at all times.
My sweetheart was 23 months at Christmas. She was excited about everything, if not completely cognizant why. She loved "Jingle Bells" and would take off galloping around the family room and generally dance and walk on her toes whenever it would come on. And it wasn't enough to spring to animation by herself--whoever was near got pulled into the action like Courteney Cox in that Springsteen video. I've never galloped so much since 1967, kindergarten gym time.
I baked cookies with her mom and her. Here she is putting on sprinkles. Tilting your head helps you pick up those tiny candies with hands that are not used to the demands of fine motor skills.
She loved opening presents and had so many from me that I had to parcel them out during December so that she wasn't buried in them Christmas Eve. I don't want to set a precedent for this type of consumerism. I'm not sure what happened to me emotionally this year. I ended up putting several away for her upcoming birthday. I never knew the tension of restraint until I had a granddaughter and entered Toys R Us at Christmastime. Good grief, Charlie Brown.
And here is my mom, who turned 89 in December. She was so ill at our house on Christmas Eve that I could not get a picture of her where she doesn't look like she's channeling Mrs. Gummidge in David Copperfield. I'm happy to say she's feeling better now, but the reality is, she is declining, month by month, week by week. Her quality of life is not good right now. The one bright spot in her life is Josie, and I'm not exaggerating when I say that. So I'm not sure about next Christmas with Mom. It breaks my heart.
Wow, I certainly didn't mean to be so melancholy, but this is pretty much how it is right now, in my head and heart. At the beginning of December, I was super excited about life--challenging goals, fulfilling days spent caring for granddaughter and mom, good time with husband and kids, etc. It just came to a screeching halt around Christmas and New Year's Eve, of course (fire). It will get better. It has to.
After all, Celebrity Apprentice is back on, right?