This Actually Happened

You know how, when you come back from vacation, you say to yourself, "Self: Now vacation is over. You have got to get your crazing eating under control. You probably put on a few pounds, but don't panic. You just need to get right back into your regular just-a-notch-under-crazy eating habits and things will be better." You feel kind of bloated and guilty, but you decide not to dwell on that negativity and just start over, right? Well, imagine leaving your vacation with this kind of guilt and then this actually happens ....

Scene: We're leaving Florida, boarding the jet for home. As I enter the plane, the steward reads my sweatshirt and says to me, "Ahh, you've been to Siesta Key." 

By the way, I rarely ever wear words. I just don't. But I left my fashion comfort zone and bought a hot pink hoodie that clearly says, "Siesta Key."

So the steward remarks about my shirt and asks a typical question like, "Did you have a good time?" or some kind of small talk chatter. I smile, say yes, and keep moving. 

Jorge is right behind me wearing a visor which says, "Siesta Key." 

The steward then remarks to Jorge, "So you went to Siesta Key. She went to Fiesta Key, and you went to Siesta Key. Well, well!" I realize that the steward has mis-read my shirt. He is not joking; he thinks we went to two separate places. After all, he has no idea we're a couple. 

So he made a mistake, but who holds up a line going into the death tube in the sky to make that kind of trivial correction? (Also by the way, regarding my fear of flying, the pilot was playing Words With Friends as we entered, not exactly a pilot-y activity, if you ask me. He should have been reading up on physics or something. And did I mention we saw the Denzel movie "Flight" while we were in FL? Eek.)

As I said, though, I was about to let the error pass, when I hear the steward say, "So she ate and you slept, huh?" Jorge laughs nervously and says, "Yeah." And the steward chuckles and says, "Well, that's what it looks like: she ate and you slept!" 

?????????????? Excuse me? (They don't make enough incredulous question marks for me to type here.)

So I look over my shoulder and protest, "HEY." 

And you should have seen those two bucks in the glare of my white hot stare. I think the steward realized what he had done, and Jorge just hurried me on down the aisle to avoid being thrown off the plane if I should  stop everything and file a formal complaint about the steward calling me fat.

Once we sit down, I say, "What was THAT??" Mocking the steward I go on, '"You look like you slept, but she looks like she ate for the duration of the vacation." "I mean, what was THAT?"

And then like a good toady, Jorge says to me, "You know who he sounds like?" 

"No, I don't."

"Like that donkey in Shrek!" 

Jorge is a comical genius and diplomat. I let the steward live and keep his job knowing that when I lumber around talking with all that food hanging out of my mouth like sloppy water grass out of a hippo's mouth, at least I don't sound like a cartoon donkey. 

So we land and decide to eat at Cracker Barrel. Just as I finish my meal, our server stops at our table and remarks: "Wow. You're done already?! Gee, you didn't have to hurry through it like that. Wow. No need to chow down. Take your time and enjoy your food!" etc., etc.

???????????????????????  Are you SERIOUS??

I can't even tell you what else he said because I was in the Land of Disbelief - that a server would say that to a  customer--a female--ME!

And he didn't even sound like a donkey. 

So here I am, back in the land of the Non-Beach-Dwelling Corn-Fed People, two days before Thanksgiving.

I think I'll have TWO pieces of pie Thursday, in honor of my two biggest cheerleaders. Or maybe think of them ever so fondly when I see turkeys roasting in ovens. 

And so here is another post filed under, "I Know You Think I Make This Stuff Up." But I don't. This actually happened ...

It'll Nearly Be Like a Picture Print By Currier and Ives ... or Not

Just be glad I'm not cooking your holiday meals. Today it's a turkey for the Crow side of the family. Mr. Tom Turkey is in the oven, and I bleached the kitchen and myself up to my elbows. "Linda, what is that wonderful holiday aroma wafting from your kitchen?" "Bleached Turkey Sink."

hApPy ThAnKsGiViNg ~ It's a Barbie Parade!

Circa 1970, 8 yrs old ~ Mom's canister vacuum = Macy's Thanksgiving Day float; big balloon = helium parade balloon; Barbies with upraised arms = celebrities waving to crowd; X-treme bangs on my forehead = awesomeness.

The Tale of the Thanksgiving Miracle of 2009

Recently I mentioned that my son, 20, now has a girlfriend. (His name is not actually "20" as it appears in this awkward sentence. It is Jordan. He is 20 years old.) I am very happy about this situation because she is a great girl. I keep trying to make a good impression on her, and yet, I fail.

But this is the tale of the Thanksgiving Miracle, so I'll move on from that unpleasant topic.

Interestingly, since the girlfriend, I've noticed that Jordan is more in touch with his nurturing side.

For instance, he and his girlfriend bought a fish together, a male Beta named "Barry," short for "Barracuda."

I asked him, "So, does this situation make this fish my 'grandfish'?"

Yes, apparently, it does.

I would have preferred to have a LEGITIMATE grandfish, but I have vowed to love this fish unconditionally.

So when he came home for Thanksgiving break Wednesday night, Jordan came in the door with laundry, Barry and a live plant in tow.

I'm having visions of diaper bags and car seats because everyone knows once you have a fish AND a plant, you're just a step or two away from a dog. And then everyone knows what happens after that: diaper bags, strollers and car seats. Oh wait a minute, that's just MY dog. Most people have a baby after the dog and then get the car seats, etc.

Anyway, Jordan brought Barry in a small container and proceeded to put him back into his regular bowl furnished stylishly by the girlfriend with snazzy black pearl foliage and sparkle rocks. Did I mention I like this girl?

As he did this, he told me all about how talented and brilliant Barry is. It seems that Barry has been following Girlfriend's finger up and down. He has also been anticipating his feeding. And he blows bubbles.

Not that I'm bragging, but have you seen my grandfish??

So Barry gets all situated in his bowl, and we put him in the family room. Jordan is on the computer, and I'm watching TV. Occasionally I glance at Barry and note how talented he is.

However, at one point, Barry looked ... sleepy.

I said, "Jordan, does the fish sleep a lot?"

He said, "Yes. He always does that."

I said, "OK. But does he kind of float like that when he sleeps?"

So Jordan goes to Barry and says, "Uh oh." He pokes him with his finger. Barry does not respond.

You can imagine what was going through my head: "The Girlfriend is never going to trust me or my household again!" In an instant, I considered the old sit-com switcheroo where you run out and buy a look-alike replacement and hope the owner is none the wiser.

People on Facebook offered helpful ideas such as: "Maybe he died of SFS, 'Shaken Fish Syndrome' from the car ride."

Jordan tried several times to revive Barry, mainly by poking him, but alack and alas, Barry appeared to have already crossed The Rainbow Bridge.

So my son, being the man of honor that he is, said, "Guess I'd better go make the bad news phone call."

I yelled after him, "Tell her it wasn't my fault! Tell her I didn't cause it!"

So he broke the news and walked away with the fish bowl.

The next day was Thanksgiving. Later in the day, I said, "So did you flush Barry?" Because I'm all sensitive and everything like that.

And he said, no, I put him in my room.

???

I'm not sure why he did this, unless he just needed "time" before the flushing ceremony. But he's 20, not 2.

Anyway, Jordan went to his room and returned with unbelievable good and joyous tidings: "Barry is alive!"

"What?" I say in disbelief. "But I saw you poke him and how he floated! He was, as Ebenezer Scrooge said about Bob Marley (wait, that was Jacob Marley) 'deader than a doornail!'"

Jordan said, "I know, but I just saw his fins moving. It's like he's hibernating or something."

And do you know that as the days have passed, that fish has rebounded. Not 100%, but he's returning to us.

Apparently, he still has work left to do here on Earth. And I get another chance to win over the Girlfriend.

And that is the story of the Thanksgiving Miracle of 2009.

How was your Thanksgiving?

Today's the Day!

1. Are you sticking to traditional Thanksgiving foods this year, or are you being culinarily adventurous?

2. Tell me something concrete that you're thankful for. (Something you can literally touch, see, etc., not a concept like "hope.")

3. You knew the flip side was coming: Share about something intangible that you're thankful for.

4. Share one vivid Thanksgiving memory. It doesn't have to be deep or meaningful, just something that remains etched in your memory.

5. What is one thing that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt is going to happen this Thanksgiving because it always does, year after year?

6. Do your pets get any left-overs?

7. Does your family pray before the big meal? If so, do you join hands while seated, stand, repeat a formal prayer or offer a spontaneous prayer? Who does the praying?

8. Will you be watching football in the afternoon? If not, what will you be doing?

9. There are two distinct camps of people on this issue: How do you feel about oysters in the dressing/stuffing?

10. Do you consider yourself informed about the first Thanksgiving?

11. Which variety of pie will you be enjoying?

12. Do you feel for the turkey?? (This is a humorous throw back question related to the 12th question in another Random Dozen!)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE! BE BLESSED! BE A BLESSING! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Random Dozen ~ Thanksgiving Edition!

In addition to making this a Thanksgiving theme this week, we are bumping it up to the beginning of the week to prevent a "meme tank" on Wednesday and Thursday. That is, I think we'll be too busy later to get our Random on. So let's do it now.

PREVIEW today; post and link TOMORROW.

1. Are you sticking to traditional Thanksgiving foods this year, or are you being culinarily adventurous?

2. Tell me something concrete that you're thankful for. (Something you can literally touch, see, etc., not a concept like "hope.")

3. You knew the flip side was coming: Share about something intangible that you're thankful for.

4. Share one vivid Thanksgiving memory. It doesn't have to be deep or meaningful, just something that remains etched in your memory.

5. What is one thing that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt is going to happen this Thanksgiving because it always does, year after year?

6. Do your pets get any left-overs?

7. Does your family pray before the big meal? If so, do you join hands while seated, stand, repeat a formal prayer or offer a spontaneous prayer? Who does the praying?

8. Will you be watching football in the afternoon? If not, what will you be doing?

9. There are two distinct camps of people on this issue: How do you feel about oysters in the dressing/stuffing?

10. Do you consider yourself informed about the first Thanksgiving?

11. Which variety of pie will you be enjoying?

12. Do you feel for the turkey?? (This is a humorous throw back question related to the 12th question in another Random Dozen!)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE! BE BLESSED! BE A BLESSING! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Column Today About Finding Thankfulness and Joy in the Middle of Suffering

Please click the button to read today's column in the Muncie Star Press. Have a great weekend.

Wham! Some Thanksgiving Cheer

Five Crows, at my brother's beautiful home. My, that's a nifty scarf you're wearing, Mrs. Crow. "Why, thank you. I learned 'to tie one on' on the Internet--wink, wink."

Three Crows who can't be serious, so these are the best shots. (No tonsils or whites of eyes = success.)
















Two Batts and one Crow.









One former baby Batt girl re-creating how, when she was very little, she used to bust up her mom and dad whenever they would hug or kiss.




One Cheer Meister in a one-of-a-kind official "Cheer Meister" hat.

















One Cheer Meister in a "Wham" Wake Me Up Before You Go Go shirt from the 1985 video. Also, doing a pretty good Bono imitation.

One Cheer Meister doing the official Cheer Meister dance.

Thanksgiving 2008. A good time was had by all. Especially the Cheer Meister.

Do the Mashed Potato! And the Pilgrim/Indian Quiz

This is pretty funny, since one year on my birthday I skipped the cake and made myself a pot of mashed potatoes and ate those instead!

You Are Mashed Potatoes

Ordinary, comforting, and more than a little predictable You're the glue that holds everyone together.

What Part of Thanksgiving Are You?

You Are an Indian

It's likely that you spent a lot of time outdoors as a kid. You feel comfortable and at peace in nature. You identify with Native Americans. You are a truly helpful and giving person. You like to lend a hand. And while you do your best to do the right thing, people haven't always been kind back to you.

Are You a Pilgrim or an Indian?

Giving Thanks

Psalm 100

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all you lands; worship the Lord with cries of gladness; come before him with joyful song.

Know that the Lord is God, our maker to whom we belong, whose people we are, God's well tended flock.

Enter the temple gates with praise, its courts with thanksgiving.

Give thanks to God, bless his name; good indeed is the Lord, whose love endures forever, whose faithfulness lasts through every age.

Art by Jennie Brownscombe 1850-1936

Here is a pie we're going to enjoy (I hope) today: Pumpkin Chocolate Cheesecake, from this magazine cover. Rest assured that my pie looks exactly like that one, too. Oh, the drawbacks of currently not having a home computer. You can't see my pie. 'Tis a shame, as the Pilgrims said when their hard drives crashed. (Mules died.)

Anyway, you basically just do what you'd do with a regular pumpkin pie, except you combine 12 oz. of cream cheese, 1/4 c. sugar, and 1 egg, beating until smooth. Then you spread that mixture on the cooled crust. If you'd like, you can sprinkle it with chocolate pieces.

Or you could just be certifiably insane and not sprinkle the chocolate. You pour your pumpkin mix over that and bake 60-65 mins or until inserted knife comes out clean.

Now, that's assuming the knife went in clean, which is not necessarily a given in my kitchen.

Serves 8. Or 2, depending on how many people in your family you can elbow out of the way when you're serving yourself.

Happy Thanksgiving, Y'all.

No Way No "How?"

Yesterday, the LA Times reported a fracas outside a public elementary school in Claremont, CA, involving a disagreement about whether kindergartners should participate in a Thanksgiving celebration featuring Native American and Pilgrim costumes.

One faction of parents was offended by the politically incorrect costumes. The second group was offended that the first group was offended. The Superintendent received hate emails over this. And little kindergartners ran around playing at the feet of the wackos while it was all going down.

Get this quote from the article: The protesters were evenly split between parents who supported the costumes and parents who opposed the outfits, and their discussion grew so heated that school officials called police, who separated the protesters on separate sidewalks, said Lt. Dennis Smith of the Claremont Police Department.

Well, you know, that just takes the cake. Or perhaps the pecan pie. I mean, we may have to cancel all of Thanksgiving if we can't get along, people.

I, for one, am not ready to throw out the Under Dog balloon of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with the bath water. There is still hope.

Why can't we just look past our politically incorrect brown paper grocery sack vests, our construction paper headdresses and 1994 acid wash jeans, shake hands and say, "How! How can I ever tell you how many helpings of stuffing I plan to have?"

And once we put the past behind us, we can all sit at the grown up table together. Won't that be a proud moment?!

Why I Should Never Be Allowed to Host A Thanksgiving Dinner -Or- I Yam What I Yam, And Not What I Yam'nt

1. I cannot cook more than two things at once and expect them to finish cooking at the same time. I should just cover this ineptitude by bringing out course after course separately, as if I'd planned it all along. "May I present your deviled eggs, sans the mushed up yolks and mayo. Enjoy your boiled egg whites." Two minutes later: "Here is your yellow egg stuff plus a side dish I like to call 'potatoes.' Salt and butter will be available when I get a chance." Two minutes later: "Please feel encouraged to take ownership of your potatoes--here is your fork, salt, butter and milk with which to mash up your potatoes. And please reserve a handful of these miniature marshmallows to place atop your sweet yams when I get a chance to bring them out. Here is the Bic lighter in case you like your minis toasted."

2. Once I was preparing a really simple soup for a group that included opening up can of beans and pouring them into the bigger pot. Imagine my delight when one guest lowered her spoon into her bowl and came up with the lid of the bean can.

3. True horror story: A few years ago, my husband's grandmother was weak and nearing the end of her life. When all of his family arrived for the meal, I pulled several people aside and said, "Do you see that step-down into the family room? I'm afraid Grandma can't negotiate that step alone, and I know I will be distracted in the kitchen. Will you please watch over her? Because I would feel so bad if she fell."

I'm giving you one second to predict the story's ending.

About 15 minute later, there was a thud. Grandma had fallen and hit her head on the wall going down that very step. There was actually a dent in the wall, and she was a tiny, tiny woman. She did not have to be taken to the hospital, but for about 10 minutes, we could not decide what to do as she seemed incoherent, etc. Truly, this is one of the worst moments in my life. And it revolved around my hosting Thanksgiving.

4. As I prepared my home and kitchen for tomorrow's feast, I began to grow insecure about the amount of food I had to offer. The ham seemed too small. The bag of potatoes seemed skimpy. I decided to go get a roast and put it in the crock pot in the morning. I went to the store, fought the Black Friday crowds and returned home to put away groceries. Slowly I began to realize I had not yet put away my roast.

Roast ... roast ... ROAST. Where. is. the. roast?! I began to get so agitated that I knocked a gallon of cider out of the fridge. The lid came off, and cider splashed all down the front of me, from neck to ankles, and all over the floor that my husband had just mopped.

My sweet daughter cleaned up the cider while I walked like Frankenstein to the laundry room and shed my sticky clothes. Then I called the store. The roast was still in the bag in the carousel at the end of aisle 9. My husband, fearing that my head would explode if I had to face the Black Friday crowd again, fetched the roast. Let me add a fascinating denouement to my story: While Husband was gone, the vacuum began making the weirdest squeaking, jabbering noise. It sounded like I had sucked up a chipmunk. Don't worry; Zoe is OK.

Now, I have only listed four reasons/illustrations of why I should never be asked to do this again the rest of my life. I could write a book. But I didn't ... what I did instead was write to Susanne, who talked me down off the ledge of my dining room pass-through.

But, you know, hosting just isn't my thang. The equivalent challenge would be like asking other people to make a public speech once a year or sing a solo at church or leave the house without makeup in a one-piece spandex body suit with a home perm. I'm about that totally uncomfortable.

When do we need to rise to the challenge of leaving the comfort zone, and when do we need to say "I yam what I yam, and I do not want to serve any more yams?"

I need an apron that says, "I'd rather be blogging."

Great is His Faithfulness

Psalm 100

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all you lands; worship the Lord with cries of gladness; come before him with joyful song.

Know that the Lord is God, our maker to whom we belong, whose people we are, God's well tended flock.

Enter the temple gates with praise, its courts with thanksgiving.

Give thanks to God, bless his name; good indeed is the Lord, whose love endures forever, whose faithfulness lasts through every age.



Art by Jennie Brownscombe 1850-1936

Thanksgiving Historical Account of the Curse of the Brown and Serve Rolls

I'm on vacation today, and I planned to sleep in, but here it is 6:24 a.m., and my mind is racing so fast that there's no way I could've gone back to sleep, even though I did try to recite scripture AND remember all the verses to "One Bad Apple." So why fight the energy? Like you, I've got tons to do today.

My two college students are home for the long weekend, and this time they brought their friends with them because they would be lonely left on campus with so many people vacating. But it's really hard for me to be nice to them because they're dirty and smelly and ugly and they just sit there taking up a lot of room, expecting to be taken care of. Their names? "Two Weeks' Worth of Dirty Laundry" (rim shot). The picture below is only part of the madness; did you think I'd let you see the whole laundry room? Also, do you think the picture of the laundry creatures is creepy? Can one basket of dirty laundry put the moves on a second basket?

The other pic is of the kids. I bet you wonder what they're doing. My son said to "put on your blog that we're throwing up a 'T' for Thanksgiving." His holiday warmth moves me. I'm tearing up right now.

Finally, that picture at the top represents the annual battle of the brown and serve rolls in our family which dates back to 1457, when America's pilgrims were not yet even a gleam in our foredaddy's eyes. Here is an excerpt from the diary of my English ancestor, Lord Rollington Browne: "I asketh you, what is so danged hard about baking these rolls that the bottoms always burn, but the tops hardly brown? We've tried everything over the years, from using foil to no foil to turning the foil wrong sideth upeth ... from trying different ovens to trying those new-fangled Easy Bake Ovens, to taking them to tanning beds. It's useless; they always win."

It's a generational curse.

So for years, every Thanksgiving and Christmas, my mom calls out to my three sisters-in-law and me, "Who wants to watch the rolls?" Immediately, the chill inside matches the chill outside. You'd think she called out, "Who wants their mother-in-law to come live with them?"

Column in Muncie Star Press Today

I re-worked the wisdom tooth extraction experience for my column today. I'm copying it here because you can only link to the articles on line free for 7 days, so instead I'll to link to this post for the archive. The last thing I want to do is pay to get to my own words!

Twenty-two years ago, I had two wisdom teeth pulled. Because the whole ordeal wasn't a picnic, I decided to wait a while to have the others removed.

"A while" became 22 years.

In spite of meticulous brushing, flossing and even whitening, the remaining "wizzies" had to go. My dentist said there was nothing I could've done to avoid the surgery; the very nature of these nonessential, problematic teeth demanded that they go.

Driving home, I remembered his words, "It's the nature of the tooth, its anatomy, its physiology. It's just naturally bad."

Something being naturally bad made me think of sin.

I remembered a time when I hid sin similar to these teeth, keeping my secrets tucked so far back into the recesses of who I was that there was no danger of people seeing my misery. I practiced all of the spiritual disciplines -- reading scripture, attending church and serving others, but still, I hid my pain, thinking, "I'll take care of this at some point-just not yet."

Eventually, I realized as long as I harbored one unrepented sin, all the "whitening" in the world was either just for show or a half-hearted, prideful attempt to patch a serious problem. Living in denial about the state of my heart became a way of life. It hurt to expose flaws and release long-held anger, but it was necessary. And in the end, it was the best thing for me.

Although I knew I would feel some discomfort after this extraction, I trusted this surgeon -- unlike my father-in-law, who continually offers to perform all kinds of medical procedures fast and cheap for his family, and no, he's not a doctor! This surgeon didn't appear to have a sadistic bone in his body. He listened to all my fears and reassured me. I was in good hands.

Likewise, I know that when I release my grip on an ancient grudge or heartache, at first, it won't feel good. I might feel like I've "lost" somehow. But that's not so. The truth is, being set free from decaying forces in my life is the best thing for me.

And I trust my God. He wants to excise whatever harms me and drives a wedge between us. When I'm scared to turn over my hang-ups to him, he listens to my fears and reassures me. When life hurts, I could resort to all sorts of crazy methods to treat myself, but the truth is, he is the only one who can truly set me free. I cannot help myself. I will always need a savior.

Right now, my front teeth look great, but don't come too close! The inside of my mouth looks and smells like walking death. I'm reminded of Matthew 23:27, where Jesus warned, "You Pharisees and teachers are in for trouble! You're nothing but show-offs. You're like tombs that have been whitewashed. On the outside they are beautiful, but inside they are full of bones and filth." Yet I am comforted by Isaiah 1:18: "I, the Lord, invite you to come and talk it over. Your sins are scarlet red, but they will be whiter than snow."

To be human is to be naturally inclined to disobey, even though we know we are digging our own graves. When God says, "It's time for this rot to go," I have to remember to trust in his mercy and unfailing kindness toward me. Even though there's much value in doing good, no regiment of noble behaviors or charitable endeavors can purify my inner self. Therefore, to kick off this month of thanksgiving, I'm declaring my thanks to God for exchanging real life for my decay, for trading his joy for my sorrow. Great is your faithfulness, O God!

Linda Crow, of Muncie, is the mother of three teenagers and works in youth ministry. Visit her blog at www.2nd-cup-of-coffee.blogspot.com.
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Originally published November 3, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

This is our "everyday" table for November. There's nothing fancy going on there, but I love the colorful table cloth, which I purchased at Kohls. I also purchased the red leaf dish with the pears in it at Kohls. The other pieces I already had. This picture really doesn't do the cloth justice; you should click on it to see the detail better. Thus I present: thirteen simple table setting ideas you can use even before you get to Thanksgiving, not necessarily mine because I tweaked a lot of other ideas:

1. You can create a simple yet elegant place setting by arranging pillar candles of different heights on fresh or artificial leaves. Obviously, do not leave lit candles unattended.

2. Use miniature pumpkins as candle holders by carving out a circle on top the same diameter as 10" or 14" taper candles. Stick the candles in, decorate where the candle and pumpkin meet with raffia, tiny vines, berries, etc. Anytime you use fresh fruit or vegetables or berries, be sure to protect your linens and table from stain.

3. Use a raised cake platter on the table to hold fruit (real, artificial and frosted, etc.) Fill in spaces with leaves or berries or flowers. Wind a vine around the stem and the bottom.

4. At each place setting, you could set out tiny decorative metal lanterns with votives or tea lights inside. Be careful not to let the candle aroma compete with the aroma of food.

5. Visit this site for interesting ways to fold napkins.

6. Runners and placemats: Use patterns if your table centerpiece will be fairly simple, such as a few pumpkins or candles. If you will be featuring a lot of items in your centerpiece (leaves, nuts, pine cones, candles, mini-pumpkins), go solid.

7. Tone-on-tone is always elegant, especially in the white/ivory family. Have you noticed the popularity of white pumpkins this year? You could place a white pumpkin on a clear or white cake stand and set it off with a dark green vine, the only color on a table scape of white or ivory.

8. For a really casual, homespun look, place apples and pears of all colors and varieties in a wicker/grapevine bowl. Plug in leaves, berries, nuts in shells. I love buckeyes for their rich, warm color. Tradition has it that if you carry one in your pocket, it will relieve headaches and arthritis.

9. You know those little iridescent man-made rocks that go in the bases of clear jars and vases? You can use fresh cranberries the same way.

10. Chair shawls: Buy enough fabric to go around the backs of your chairs, keeping in mind you'll need extra length to tie a knot at the back and still have some fabric left over to drop down. When you tie the knot, keep the lengths of the draping fabric the same for a more formal look. Use artificial flowers or leaves in a small arrangement to place over the knot. If there is a stem bundle on your arrangement, tie with raffia or coordinating fabric around the stems and sashes, holding them together. You can also thread a flower on wire, pull it through your arrangement and knot, securing it on the other side. It's sort of like a button.

11. For a casually elegant table, you can purchase paint pens and write your guest's name on the goblet. For Christmas, I like to do snowflakes on glasses.

12. Cinnamon sticks-Tie onto the front of a folded napkin or place upright around several candles huddled together. Tie with a ribbon to hold it all together.

13. OK, this one is specifically for the Thanksgiving meal. At this site, you can read about a unique place setting detail involving wrapping 5 unpopped kernels of corn in a 4 x 4 piece of chiffon tied at the top. You would attach a card of explanation, the Legend of the 5 Kernels. The legend basically points out 5 things the Pilgrims were thankful for. You could use their ideas or create your own.

Better yet, you could ask each guest to hold up each of his kernels and tell something he's thankful for with each one. You know, you could vary this theme throughout the year, placing, for instance, five candy hearts in red chiffon and asking the family member to share with everyone five things they love about a person or the whole family or the pet, etc.