Blog Clog And How Blogging Changes after 50

Every night when my head hits the pillow, I think about moments from my day that I'd like to record for "someday" when my organic memory is gone. There will come a time when I'll need to read about my days in order to enjoy those meaningful pauses in my life again. And maybe my grandchildren would enjoy the details, too.

But I hit a blogging snag a couple of years ago and just can't get past it.

I've fallen, and I can't get up.

It's a blog clog.

Every day, I start composing posts in my thoughts such as:

Once upon a time, there was a pregnant woman who had nowhere to go

and no one who cared about her and her twins, so we took her into our home.

Or

I'm in the long, tender process of saying goodbye to my parents.

Or

My child has had a child. I am a grandmother. 

Or

Once upon a time, I had three children whom I mothered ... adequately.

Then they grew up and moved away. I miss their voices and faces so much

that it's hard to look at pictures of our family from those years. 

But I don't get past those initial thoughts. 

These are BIG topics to tackle, and emotions wash in and out like ocean waves. Some waves are gentle, some are scary, melancholy, or bubbly (like the pic on the left)--delightful. 

Forward and backward, forward and backward, one recedes, comes another. The waves always bring in little treasures and take away little treasures. Sometimes I raise my head to the horizon, but I always feel the waves lapping at my ankles and shins, reminding me that everything is changing right under me. I can feel it. 

So I'm going to write about the little treasures that flow in and flow out. Maybe if I narrow things down, I can approach them and put them down for someday. 

But today, all I can do is write generally about the flow and change. Sometimes I'm just speechless. And that is when there is nothing to do but let the waves wash over me. 

The Brothers Plad

Something about this link on Facebook caught my eye. Maybe it was the crisp logo, maybe it was the "D" word in the accompanying text: "Dyslexia." All I know is, I clicked on the ad, which is something I never do, and that led me down a very pleasant trail which I'm happy to share with you.

As I posted about the book, several friends commented about the spelling in the title, that is, "Plad," instead of "Plaid." We couldn't figure out why a book written especially for those who tangle with words would contain a misspell on the cover.

 So you know me. I live for the word, "Why."

 I emailed the author, Sean Plasse, the following message: Hello. I was intrigued by your ad on Facebook and shared it with friends. We have a collective question: Why "plad" instead of "plaid?


And then came this great response, which I will now share with you with the author's permission:

Hi Linda,

Thank you for the email.  We love to get questions from around the country.  We appreciate you sharing our website with your friends.

I am dyslexic.  80% of dyslexics struggle with "phonemes", which are the sounds that letters make.  For example, the word "cart", is one syllable, and four letters, but it is amazingly three phonemes: K - RRR - T.  Three sounds.  The human brain is remarkable, in that normal readers can simply glance at a one syllable, four letter word, cart, and automatically "hear" the three sounds in their head: K-R-T.  It is really amazing that people can decode words like this, and they use the left, left-back, and way-back of the brain to do it.  Dyslexics never achieve this automatic skill.  Brain imaging shows that a dyslexic uses the left, left-back, and right-front of their brains.  Imagine trying to listen to a book on compact disc, say "Huckleberry Fin", but somebody has scratched the CD surface, and it keeps sticking, skipping, and sounding terrible.  That's what it is like for a dyslexic when they try to read and sound out words.  Thus, the struggle with sounds, leads to a struggle with words, sentences, paragraphs, and of course the story overall.  

The good news is that dyslexia has nothing to do with intelligence.  There are many successful dyslexics, like Charles Schwab, Richard Branson, and others.  I was diagnosed later in life, after robust testing at the Stern Center for Language and Learning,www.sterncenter.org.  Apparently my ability to decode words is in the 14th percentile, but my IQ is in the 99th percentile!  It was a great day for this dyslexic carpenter.  I received a few years of reading instruction at the Stern Center, and went on to serve 6 years on the board of directors, making speeches for the Governor of Vermont, NPR, local news, and most importantly, raising financial donations to help youth literacy.  It was a great time.  The one thing I heard over and over again, was that teachers and parents were struggling with dyslexic boys, especially in rural areas.  

My friend was a teacher in Vermont, and one day she called me.  She had a dyslexic boy as a student, and who she couldn't find books for him.  I asked her what he liked to do.  She said, "Fish, hunt, camp."  I told her I loved those activities too, and to get books on those topics.  She said there weren't any.  I was amazed/horrified!  I had been writing for 18 years, but had never attempted a children's story.  I started writing The Brothers Plaid that day, but t just didn't look right.  My dyslexic brain skipped each time I read my own title, Plaid.  I changed it to The Brothers Plad, and it felt right.  It made phonetic sense to me, and I wanted dyslexic kids to feel invited by the title, not intimidated.  So, my friend read the story out loud to the class one day, and they loved it.  The dyslexic boy took it home that night, and my friend went to his trailer, and watched him read it out loud to his Dad and stepmother.  It meant the world to me.  So, that year I wrote eight short stories of The Brothers Plad, and the class had a huge plad party at the end of the year...and everybody wore plad and ate watermelon.  I spent the next three years writing the novel, with my brother Matt as business partner and editor.  The novel is based on a true fishing story from when we were kids.  The original Brothers Plad.

The whole book was designed from the beginning with dyslexics in mind.  The font is easy to read.  Paragraphs are short, with ample spacing.  There are visual icons which follow the story, and summarize at the end of chapters.  There are words purposefully misspelled in each chapter.  One of the brothers, Tommy, is dyslexic, and struggles to read throughout the book.  And of course, there is plenty of action, worms, dirt, blood, sweat and fishing.  

I hope that this is a decent explanation of the spelling!  Here are a few more links for fun:

1.  Book Tour - This is a facebook link which gives you a visual tour of the book.  You can see the graphic icons which summarize the story for dyslexics.  If you start on the image in the top left, and simply scroll through, it is a good tour.  There are explanations written below each image.

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.253496668018610.68766.108708752497403&type=3

2.  NPR Interview - Here is a link to an NPR interview I did a few years ago, which explains some of my coping mechanisms for dyslexia.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6425164

3.  Television Show - Here is a link to a television show, when I was struggling as a dyslexic author to write a book.  It was much more difficult than I ever expected, but with my brother's help, we got it done.  Now we're shipping around the world!

http://byutv.org/watch/c2650fe3-ee51-4393-84d4-18feccce5f66

Thank you again for your email.  It is great to hear from Muncie!  Let me know if you have more questions.  I love promoting literacy for dyslexics.  Give our best to your friends.  

Sean  Plasse

Author

www.thebrothersplad.com

One of the things my new son-in-law said about this link was," I wish that was the first book I ever read. Maybe I would have liked reading." 

If this book tweaks your interest, I encourage you to check out the links and consider a purchase.

I believe it is a new day for those who learn differently from the norm. We have to keep pushing forward.

Thank you, Sean Plasse, for taking on this challenge and for caring about other people. Best of luck to you in whatever endeavor you put your heart, mind and hands to.

Why Hasn't JJ Abrams Contacted Me About a Creative Writing Project?

So last night in a dream, I noticed a bowl of dog food at my feet.

I thought, "I wonder what dog food tastes like?" And then I picked up a kibble and munched.

"It's kind of bland. But the after-taste is bad. No wonder they have bad breath."

Then I walked away.

The end.

Are you kidding me? In a chance to fly above the tree tops, go back or forward in time, to possess any super power--I chose to taste dog food?

Good grief! With a bright imagination such as this, it's only a matter of time until J.J. Abrams of Alias, Lost and Fringe contacts me.


Abrams: "Lid, we're stuck on a scene in which the "real" Earth's Fringe Team investigates people who have been put into an unbreakable trance by a mysterious box. Any creative ideas about what substance in the box could put such a hold on people?"

Me: "Yes! Just as Agent Olivia Dunham arrives on the scene of citizens walking around in various states of zombieness, she notices several mysterious boxes of dry dog food opened and strewn about. Suddenly, she thinks, 'Hey. I've always wondered what this tastes like .... "

"Shined" vs "Shone," the Devil Bird Revisited and Goodbye Australia

Some of you commented the other day that my kangaroo-loving daughter is a "chippette" off the old block when it comes to writing. I must say that her verbal acumen and execution are fierce, waaaay more better than I's. (Don't you just hate when people say that?)





Laser-like verbal skills are wonderful when you're a 22 year-old who loves your parents again, not so wonderful when you're a 14 year-old who's not so crazy about them. It was rough sailing for a while, but now the seas are calm. See? There are good points to your kids growing up!

She has a BA in English and wants to be an editor. So for graduation, one of the gifts I gave her is a white t-shirt that says:


"No passion in the world equals the passion to amend someone else's draft" HG Wells

It's written in red "ink," of course.

She liked it. Because I think it's literally true for her.

Here is one last short excerpt from her final message before leaving Australia. If you liked the "devil bird" comment in yesterday's email message, you will enjoy this.

Today we had a free day, so we all went to Manly Beach. And no, it's not a bodybuilder beach, which is what I thought it would be at first. The name still cracks me up--It is actually a really beautiful beach and the sun eventually shone today, so it was perfect.

Too cold to swim, though, and the beach had signs out warning people not to swim anyway. But the salt air smelled soooo good. I seriously would live at the beach every day if I could. The only thing I didn't like about the beach was the stupid seagulls. Those things are vicious and are pretty much disgusting.



Oh!!! Also, I ate crocodile pizza and emu pizza tonight. Be impressed. No kangaroo for me, though--I couldn't do it after feeding them and petting them. The crocodile kind of tasted like fishy chicken--very weird. The emu was pretty good, though, and I would eat it again. Plus the fact that I was eating the same type of devil bird that bit me didn't hurt.

Well, I can't believe that the baby whose sippy cup I filled 300 times per day is eating crocodile and emu, but I still can't wrap my mind around Martha Stewart going to prison and making prison ponchos, either, so I guess I just don't adapt easily.

By the way, are you wondering why she wrote "shone" instead of "shined?" If it emits light it's "shone," and if it's made shiny it's "shined." That's my girl!

I Shouldn't Be Wasting Your Time; I Should be Writing. Or Folding Laundry.

Of course, there is another option. The Bee Gees would say to me, "You should be Dancin'--YEAH."

But I'm bloggin'--YEAH!

Yes, randomness ahead.

This is the point in the day when I had planned to sit myself down and write or edit a piece for my column next Saturday.

But instead I'm checking FB, eating a protein bar, reading Francis Chan's Crazy Love and talking to you because I'm a little stuck for ideas.

Some people say if you just start writing, inspiration will come.

I think inspiration went to the lakes for the weekend or something.

So what's up with you? Speaking of asking what you're doing, that makes me think of Twitter. I'm still trying to figure Twitter out because isn't it merely a glorified FB status update?

And isn't blogging like an extended play Tweet?

Elsewhere in my brain: I'm not up on all the latest about John and Kate, but I hope they pull it all together. I think marriages are like cars; they need regular tune-ups. All marrieds should have stickers on their bodies somewhere saying, "Next counseling appointment 10/27/09 or After Three Held Grudges, whichever comes first."

That is all.

I should be writin'--YEAH.

The Weekend of the Graduation, Mother's Day and Book Signing

Disclosure: This post is a leeeetle long. I don't like long posts here or elsewhere, so I apologize, but this all happened in one weekend, and I want to get it out now while it's fresh. If you can tough it out 'til the end, then you are special, and you deserve a prize like a brand new car or a free KFC meal courtesy of Oprah. If you are new here from the book signing, welcome. I'm not usually this wordy. Not usually. But sometimes.

Weekend Part 1: Graduation

I am of a certain age when a weekend like this can only be repeated about once every four years because it is exhausting. So that's 2005 on the left, 2009 on the right, in case you couldn't tell. That's Katie at 18 and Katie at 22, and that's me at 42 and me at ... 42 1/2.

I am now the mom of a college graduate.

Yes, she made it. When we left her on campus in the fall of '05, she wasn't sure if she could cut it, but she grabbed college life by the tail and never let go.

Way to go, Katie! You did well!

I've written a piece about this which I'm going to use for my contribution to Internet Cafe this month, and then probably a re-write for my newspaper column, so I'll hold off on sentimentality--for now. But it's bubbling up and cannot be held back for long. But I do want to say here and now that I'll never forget how beautiful her green eyes were as she stood there in her cap and gown just afterward.

After graduation, we were guests at a cookout at Katie's house on campus. She and her roommates invited friends and their families. In the slideshow below, you will see two girls who, unlike my kids, actually want to make this blog: Bethany, whom Katie has known virtually all her life from church, and Kelly, whom Katie met her freshman year.

Moms of teenagers: Can I get an "amen" to how important your child's friends are? These two have been stellar friends, HUGE blessings to Katie and us, and guess what? They both love ME, too! And they read this blog! Hi, Bethany and Kelly! Kelly and my son Jordan are lifeguards together at the school, and they are good friends, as well. I cannot tell you how many times Kelly has loaned Jordan her car. (Don't ask me why. He can be a stinker at times. Like 22 hours a day.)

After the cookout, we took Jordan back to his dorm so that he could bring out his packed up stuff that will come home to live with us for the summer while he himself shares a house with four other guys on campus this summer. What is wrong with that picture? I hope his parka and gloves will have a great summer of family bonding with us in his newly re-decorated bedroom. I just hope his comforter enjoys the sage green on the walls. Perhaps we'll take his wool sweater on vacation with us to the beach.

Anyway, we sat in the car in the street watching him and his roommate through the open 2nd story window of their room. Finally, he flipped out the lights, and I turned to Jorge and said, "Well, that's it. 'Lights out!' on the sophomore year. Our son is now a junior, and our daughter graduated a couple of hours ago. Can you believe it?"

No, we cannot believe it. Because:






This was actually taken, oh, like last week. The moral of this portion of this post is: Go hug your little children one more time today. And put some money in the bank for college.




Weekend Part 2: Mother's Day and small family celebration at our house.

EXHAUSTING for me, the hospitality-challenged person, but it went OK. I had some food catered and I made some, which did not sicken anyone or even come close to cutting their tongues out. So, "score."

Here is a picture of my beautiful mom taken this week at a local middle school where she and my dad spoke to the kids in some kind of "Get to Know History Through Old People" exercise, which both my parents and the kids apparently thoroughly enjoyed.

I would like to say, "Gee, I hope I look this good at 84," but actually, I'd like to look that good now. She's amazing. Moral of her beauty story: Stay out of the sun. She doesn't like this picture because her neck has "wrinkles." Good grief.

By the way, in the slideshow, you will see my dad, who is about 6'2", my mom who is about 5'10", Katie, sister-in-law Kim, and my brother Donnie. Look how big he is. He's like Brad Garrett on Raymond. Keep in mind when you see that pic that my dad is 6'2"!

Weekend Part 3: The Book Signing

Sunday morning, I was a nervous wreck, nearly sick to my stomach thinking, "Why in the world did I do this? I am an idiot. People are going to think I have the biggest ego in the world. People are going to laugh at me."

When I arrived the bookstore managers made me feel very comfortable and not stupid, for which I am grateful. And then a couple of people came in and bought books, which then alleviated the fear that I would indeed being do "a" book signing, as in singular, or ONE book.

People are nice.

Some bought two or three at a time as Mother's Day gifts, and at that point, you could have knocked me over with a bookmark. So I signed away, and I think we sold about half of what she ordered, or maybe a little less. I don't know the count yet.

Then I rushed home for that family get-together.

So here is a slide show of all the things I mentioned above because a picture is worth the 2,000 words I probably just used to bore you to death about it.

If you hung in here this long, thanks. You are a bloggin' bff, "Big-Hearted Faithful Friend."

Questions About Blogging

I just saw that I have written 1,076 posts on this blog.

I guess you could say I love words.

In elementary school, when we would have free time inside instead of outdoor recess due to rain or snow (a good possibility from October to April, btw) I would head to the back of the classroom where my teacher kept stacks of brownish recycled paper with the solid and broken lines on a fly-infested cement windowsill. I would grab a couple of pages and begin writing a novella at my desk while the spiritless peons around me "played," oblivious to the creative genius in two pony tails just rows away.

Apparently, I still love to write because it's difficult for me to skip a day here. I would probably just keep on writing and writing right now, even if you clicked away and didn't come back for five years. If you came back in 2014, I'd probably be blogging about 30 x 5, Phase 72 and how I keep watching American Idol despite it being the worst season ever.

So here's a stolen meme about blogging. Trying to find its source of origin would have led me down a path of links that I'd still be on in 2014, so I'm just plain ol' stealing it.

1. What is your blog about?

Good question! Every bit of advice I read about successful blogging includes the admonition to make your blog about something. "Find a unifying theme." "Be an expert or at least an aficionado." This is also the main problem when I talk to editors about publishing a book. They like what I write, but I don't have a snazzy theme, like, "Teenagers. Aren't They a Hoot."

But my blogging style reminds me of a dog on walk; I'm distracted by every different smell, sight and sound along the path. And off the path. So much is amusing!

I see something on TV or in World Magazine and think, "I've got to blog about that," or my kids say something funky or I have a day when my finger gets caught in the wheel of the paper cutter at work and I break the toilet there as well, and I think, "Yep, that's a post." It's all good. No, literally--it's all good!

2. What will you never write about?

• Something that someone asks me not to write about
• Details about my job, which often kills me because that is one rich topic; believe me.
  
• Details about my marriage
  

3. Have you ever considered quitting blogging?

Yes, when I feel overwhelmed with the pressure to post daily or comment as much as I'd like elsewhere. I just don't have enough time. And time seems to be speeding up exponentially. It's a little freaky.

4. What would you do instead?

I used to write long hand, especially when I went through depression, page after page. Then I started keeping an online journal, just a Word doc. It's possible that if I didn't spend so much time blogging I might submit for publication more. It's also possible that I would be the queen of crosswords because I LOVE solving them almost as much as I do writing.

If you took all writing possibilities out of the equation ... I would ... breed Yorkies? At that point, I would become divorced because Jorge would not even consider that option. So maybe he should buy me a laptop.

5. What do you think blogging will be like in 5 years?

In five years, I'll be 51, which seems unbelievable. I doubt I'll have a grandchild by then, but we'll still have American Idol, so I'm set. I sure hope LOST is resolved by then. Or do I?

6. What is the most extraordinary thing that happened to you because of blogging?

Extraordinary? As in "extra-ordinary?" Hmmm. I've joked about Clinton Kelly emailing me, but that's about the only odd thing that has happened as a direct result of blogging. It has been a little strange and fun to meet people for the first time who tell me they read my blog because someone else introduced them to it.

One time a friend with whom I'd been acquainted years ago but hadn't spoken with in recent years told me that she read my blog regularly and then saw me in the grocery store but was too star-struck to say hello. Totally cracked me up.

It has also been wonderful and "extraordinary" to meet you! Isn't it amazing the friendships that can emerge from just the written word? BTW, happy birthday, Diane.

7. Did you write a blog post or comment you later regretted?

Yes, and I did delete the post. I think it was inflammatory, and I'm not about that. You all know I'm not afraid to have an opinion, but when I first started blogging, I went off on an issue in an un-loving way, and that I regret. But now I'm more growed-up 'n stuff.

8. Pet peeves?

• Music that automatically loads with a blog and scares me to death because my speaker is up.

• Really, really long posts (like this one, Lid?) without paragraph breaks.

• Constantly mixing font styles and sizes within a post. Have mercy.

• Centering posts.

• Preachiness, sermonizing

• "Reaching" too far to make a spiritual point. Sometimes a cookie is just a cookie, a coincidence a coincidence. In my opinion.

• Too much sappy praise for the husband. A little goes a long way because we probably don't think he is the sexiest man in the world, but we're glad you do. Plus, when you're struggling in your marriage and people go on like that, it's painful. It's like bragging about how rich you are to the impoverished or something.

#1 Pet Peeve: Anonymous negative comments. Do that here, and you're toast. Wow-was that un-loving?

End on a happy note:

I love:

• Posts written by missionaries and teachers.

• Posts about teenagers.

• Humorous posts. My favorite post ever is probably Big Mama's Like the Sopranos, But Without the Violence. It is one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. When I linked to it here, I started reading it again and laughed out loud. It's so funny, but at the same time, it's poignant and loving. It's a blogging masterpiece, if-t you askt met.

I agree with William Davis (no clue who he is, actually) who said, “The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and then think for ten minutes.”

*********

30 x 5 Update: Elliptical for 30; said no to Sugar Cream Pie, our state pie. But caved in for a piece of pineapple upside-down. Sigh.

"Vive La Meme!" (Why Do We Do Memes?)

Recently someone asked me about memes. I told her that this word/concept is apparently an ongoing mystery in Blogdom.

Not only are we not really sure what "meme" means or where it began, but we're not sure how to pronounce it.

For instance, for me, it rhymes with "dream." My good friend Debbie of Like a Rose, however, pronounces it "mee-mee."

As I was talking about this, in mid-sentence, I had a revelation. Or maybe it was more like a memory.

Yes, blogging friends, I actually remembered something! Something useful!

Rewind to 1979. I'm a sophomore in Mrs. Jones's French class, where my French club name was "Lise." I'm sitting there with my winged hair plastered to the sides of my head, when out of the blue, Madame Jones tell us "meme" is the word for "same."

Now hurry up and fast forward to today.

OH, I GET IT!

Memes are conduits of sameness. That is, they're thematic in nature. We're answering the same questions that have no right or wrong answers! The same! La meme!

So maybe we should be saying, "mehm" because that's how you say it a la Frenchy.

After I totally discovered this on my own, I searched the Web, and yes, proved that I am right, even though I did not discover this on my own, per se. I just feel like I did, and that's pretty good.

At The Daily Meme I found these tidbits:

• A meme is: An idea that, like a gene, can replicate and evolve.

• A unit of cultural information that represents a basic idea that can be transferred from one individual to another, and subjected to mutation, crossover and adaptation.

• A cultural unit (an idea or value or pattern of behavior) that is passed from one generation to another by nongenetic means (as by imitation); "memes are the cultural counterpart of genes".

Well, I'm glad to know my kids can't be classified as memes.

Oh, Whatever. The Internets don't need to be all high and mighty book-smart about the definition of "meme. "

We're just bloggers asking pivotal questions like, "What is the one personal maintenance tool you would take to a desert island?"

Why do we do memes? I think CS Lewis informs us on this topic:

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one."

For very often, in silly memes, we find that we are at least nearly the same in thought as someone else; thus, we make emotional connections.

In these little exercises, then, we reveal an inherent, God-given need for relationship and community. Every day, in a million little and big ways, we reach out to reassure ourselves that while we are individuals with unique perspectives, we are not, thank heaven, alone.

Vive La Meme!

Ultimate Blog Party 2009!

First -- Happy Spring, Everybody!


Don't let this whimsical, carefree greeting fool you; I'm not always so amiable. It's just that I live in Indiana, and we've been waiting to trade in black boots for kicky polka dot or hot pink shoes for so long that I had to give a little shout out to Spring.

So you’re clicking around the Ultimate Blog Party, eh? Congratulations on letting everything else in life slide while you "build community."

You have landed at 2nd Cup of Coffee, a place where I hope you’ll develop a new habit of stopping daily for the extra few moments it would take to sip a 2nd Cup. I try to write as if we’re sitting across the table from each other IRL. Except you can’t see my crazy eyes.

If you riddled this blog with "bullets," topics you would likely find are:

• That Cute Dog up there named Zoe.
• Stories about my kids, like my 16 year-old who racked up 6,000 texts last month.
• Video Blogs called "I See What You're Saying"
  
• My work at a youth ministry, where we doled out 405 sundaes this week
• My current addiction to crosswords, where phrases like "doled out" often appear
  
• Observations made by my husband, "Jorge"
• Obsessions with the latest food faves
  
• Recaps of certain TV shows, including Biggest Loser, Idol, The Office and LOST, the best TV show of all time
• Writing a newspaper column: the trials, the triumphs, the lack of pay
• Amish Heaters, elderly parents and musicals
• Commercials for the Department of ED (Er*ectile Dysfunkshun)
• 70-s music (See playlist below) (I am about 6 or 7 years old in dog years)
• Becoming a "conscientious objector" to the concept of cooking
  

In a nutshell: Married almost 24 years, 3 kids (22, 20, 16), Writer, Blogger, Envelope Stuffer, Friend to all. Also, I'm a contributor to this book which just came out, and I'd like to give one away at the end of this party. I think the book would make a nice little addendum to someone's Mother's Day plans, whatever they are. So if you'd like to be entered, let me know in a comment.

Thanks for stopping by 2nd Cup. Please come back. And thanks to Five Minutes for Mom for sponsoring annual springtime fun. And that reminds me ... it's time to put on my hot pink ballerina flats and snap some pics of spring!

PS: I think we're supposed to list prizes we'd like. Dear Santa:
58 - Kitchen Aid Artisan Stand Mixer
Provided by: Moms Who Think
(winner's choice of color, $349.99 retail value )

Who couldn’t use a Target gift card?
19 — $50 gift certificate to Target Stores
Provided by: Shoot-Me-Now
http://www.shoot-me-now.com/

21 — $50 gift certificate to Target Stores
Provided by: Agoosa - Funny Name, Sound Advice
http://agoosa.com/

22 — $50 gift certificate to Target Stores
Provided by: Beginner Baby Blog
http://beginnerbaby.com/blog/?p=100

Oh Yes, Did I Ever Happen to Mention ...

that I have a book? (Well, I'm IN a book; I don't exactly HAVE a book written by me, exactly) in my church's bookstore???

I did?

Oh.

Well, OK then, did I mention that the bookstore manager put it on the TOP shelf, next to THE SHACK? The bookstore manager initially ordered 10, and I said, "Bookstore Manager, don't you think maybe you'll be overwhelmed by all of the teeming masses, yea, even the madding crowds, asking for Life Savors: Savory Stories for the Soul? I mean, don't you think it would be prudent to order, like, 100?"

And she said, "No."

So there are six left. I bought one for my mother; my boss bought one; the lady whose car I hit in the parking lot bought one, and some unidentified person bought the other. Unidentified Person, whoever you are, I salute you AND kiss your boots. You are nice. (I wonder if Bookstore Manager hid it to boost my morale?)

OK, so I know that I told you I have a book in the bookstore, but have you ever seen physical proof that I have a book in our bookstore? No, you haven't. So I thought I'd better take a picture, for your sake. Lisa McKay is in this book, too. (Funny, when I spell-checked this post, the computer's brain suggested "Micmac" for "McKay.") But this is not Lisa Micmac's McKay's church's bookstore, so ...

they didn't put one of those shelf-talker thingies with her name on it like they did mine. My name is Linda Crow. It says so right there, in case you can't read it. See? That's my shelf-talker. Right there under the book. That I'm in with Lisa and a few hundred other talented people.





They say when you propose a book, you should also propose your personal marketing strategies. I've always kind of liked the marketing idea that you see on the left. So maybe I should walk into my She Speaks appointments with the editors on Friday, proposal strapped snazzily onto my head. Whaddya think?

If you'd like to win a copy of this book, which would give me another reason to buy one and make it look like this book has sold in our bookstore, please leave a comment. I will close eligibility Thursday morning before I leave. When I come back from She Speaks, I'll select a winner. I just mistyped "sinner" for winner, which is funny. So if you are a sinner who would like to be a winner, let me know.

Crap-a-Doodle Ding Dong Dang

I'm sorry I had to go there with that language, but normal words fail me right now.

I've been sitting here for about 3 hours working on the book proposal for She Speaks, the book proposal that I have grown to hate and have thus scratched. Oh yes I did.

Procrastination is not my modus operandi. Ever. But I have had the worst time staying on task with this. As a result, I have a lot more empathy for kids avoiding homework. Before, I never quite understood why they just didn't get to it and get it over with if they disliked it so much. But now I see it's kind of like jumping off a diving board when you're not a good swimmer. Dicey. And not so fun.

So I let it go and picked up another topic, which I'll get to in a minute.

Now I have a modicum of peace, at least mentally, but not physically.

However, I've been trying to cut back on the calories since Gatlinburg, eating veggies and fruits, with the occasional bowl of cereal. Let me tell you, because of the frustration, I've almost eaten my weight tonight in fruit. And it's crazed, WWF binge eating, where I'm grabbing strawberries by their little green collars, gulping most of the berry and then slamming the remains back into the bowl.

Hey, here's a thought: When you eat a lot of fruit, your tummy hurts, and you make a lot of ... noise. Noise which scares little dogs who sit behind you on your chair when you blog, who react to those noises by perking up their little ears, shaking off the assault and then running away. (Yes, College Daughter who reads my blog to spy on me, I just wrote about that. I know, I know; Boomama and Big Mama would never write about such indelicacies. But I'll be sitting at the feet of the masters soon, so maybe Southern decency will rub off on me.)

So #1: I hate my topic #2: I am noisy and traumatizing my dog #3: I'm distracted by every little thing possible, including the spider web on the wall above my monitor. It's like I'm trying to focus and type, and this little poof keeps waving at me, teasing me. If I didn't work, I wouldn't have spider webs on my wall, and I would have more time to write, just so you know.

Anyway--Old topic: Preparing Yourself for Your Changing Relationship With Your Child Before He Leaves for College ( College students don't need helicopter parents, and you need a life apart from mothering, basically, but it's really hard when kids leave home, and nobody tells moms much about this.)

New Topic: Building a book from my newspaper columns OR humorous posts from my blog. It feels dumb to say it, but most people seem to appreciate my humorous writing more than my apparently boring regular writing.

Problem: Experts say that a book of collections, devotionals or newspaper columns or what-have-you, needs to have a common thread, a theme. Well, I don't have that. I have oodles of randomness. And personally, I don't care so much for a humor book that is only about, say, one's humorous office experiences or one's hilarious marriage. I like a person's take on the world, from family to politics to anything else. But what do I know?

So it's almost 10:30 pm, and I have achieved nothing after hours of sitting here.

Argh! Help. Me.

Do you have any suggestions about the topic, as in how to approach it, etc? Do you think I should choose devotional writing or humorous writing? Do you think it was right for me to switch topics if I feel less pressure now? Because it feels like such a relief ... if you know what I mean. Let me know what you think.